feeling drained

[rachel1298]

:weep:hi
my name is rachel i am 28 years old with an amazing husband,2 beautiful children and a great family.
when i was 8 years old my mom died from a aneurysm i grew up and my teenage life was great never worried lived life to the full then....
i had my children and from then it was just worry,stress anxiety then i discovered google and apparently i had cancer,brain tumor,a couple of times i was even having a heart attack and a stroke.
because of having my kids and i guess losing my mom so young when she was just 25 ,brought on this anxiety health worries ( although i am convinced i am going to die soon and leave my babies with out a mommy) i no i also have anxiety i feel like every day i am in pain somewhere or hurting.
then 3 months ago i went to the doctor and they found that my lymph nodes was enlarged sent me for an ultrasound who said they was enlarged and would scan in 6 weeks cut a long story short i got discharged when they went down a little. a week later recieved a letter saying i had another appointment:ohmy: i thought this was a sign anyhow i get there the doctor is annoyed says i dont need to be there but will scan me anyway my lymph nodes have grown so i need a fine needle aspiration in my neck.the last week and a half i have waited for results today they have come back as inconclusive :weep: im terrified i dont want to leave my babies. im sorry if i have not posted this where its supposed to go it just makes me feel a bit better letting this out!

[BumbleGirl]

Hi Rachel. Don't be sorry for posting here at all. Were all in this together :-) Losing your mum so young and in such an awful way has no doubt contributed to this anxiety. Maybe the anxiety came on because you were so worried you might get ill and leave your children because that's what happened to you :-( Honestly though if the drs were worried in any way about your test results they would be investigating further. I think you need to ask your drs for a proper explanation to put your mind at rest. If you would ever like to chat message me :-) xxx

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Rachel,

As an oral cancer survivor, I truly understand your fear. A FNAB is usually pretty conclusive but getting the result you did no doubt adds to your fears.

I don't know if it's the same in the UK but here in the US, there are hospitals that specialize in cancer. I was treated at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. They're the top rated cancer hospital for head and neck in the country. I'm assuming you're referring to lymph nodes in your neck? If so, I recommend you seek out an ENT that is experienced in head and neck cancers, preferably at a top cancer center. Make sure you have the test results and biopsy samples transferred there as well. In situations like this, it's prudent to get a 2nd opinion.

That being said, your age and the fact that the swelling in your glands went down don't present as cancer and that's a good thing but it's better safe than sorry. My cancer started when I got a sinus infection with a painless swollen lymph node on the left side of my neck. Two rounds of antibiotics didn't do a thing. A FNAB of the node was positive for SCC.

I could tell you to relax but knowing you have anxiety and HA I know it's probably falling on deaf ears :( I'll tell you the same thing I tell anyone that's faced with this fear. "It's not cancer until they say it is".

Good Luck!

[Karol.Papis]

Hi, obviously what you feel and think at the moment is heavily influenced by your personal experience (which is the case with the great majority of people!). I am unsure about medicine but your last sentence suggests that you would like to talk to someone about it? Perhaps you may give it a try and see whether e.g., therapy would be of any help, at least to the way you feel about everything at the moment... :hugs: