What do you do during the day?

[Bonnibelle]

I am having a set back with my panic disorder/agoraphobia and can't go out alone for fear of having a panic attack when alone and showing myself up. Since it happened in a shop a few weeks ago it has set me back in my recovery when I was doing so well.

I am finding the days very long and lonely and I feel low during the day, I have too much time to think and dwell on my illness I guess.

I take my 3 children to school, then after a little drive I go home and start the housework. By 11am I am done for the day and I have a cuppa and enter a few competitions. I make lunch and potter around in the kitchen whilst that's cooking. I then sit for a couple of hours before i get the children. Once the children are with me i go to a few shops in town, go home and clean, cook... the usual housewife things. My evenings are fine as my husband is home, children are with me. I am just feeling low that during the daytime I am alone and feel I have very little to do. There is only so much cleaning one can do during the day before feeling even more fed up :D

I am working hard at my workbooks again and feeling much better than I was a couple of weeks ago as I can go out again with the children and I am a very determined woman. I won't let this illness beat me, but what do you do all day to entertain yourselves? I feel low during the day and I often start to feel sad and angry at my brother for hurting me and causing this illness. I have a lovely husband and 3 wonderful children, everything is great other than this horrible illness restricting my life. I feel sad that I turned a huge corner in recent months. I could go shopping alone again, Costa for my take out coffee.... I still had to do bigger things with my hubby and children but my life was more normal again. Hopefully I will get back there but in the mean time what can I do to make the days better so that depression doesn't hit like it did last time I was when the agoraphobia first hit last year :blush:

[cokesmyth5]

I do relate to what you're saying about long days. My husband has recently gone abroad to work for 2 years. He won't be back before Xmas. My son recently started uni and I miss him just as much.
You didn't mention if you ever have a friend(s) round for coffee during the day or if you feel you could visit them. I know that if I've invited someone here and when the day comes, I really don't want them to come, I have learnt to "take the risk" and let them come because I will feel better for the chat and the company. Obviously I only invite people who understand me and what I'm trying to overcome. Do you know any of the other mums at school you would like to spend some time with?
Life will be more normal again in time, just so tough until then, I know.

[Bonnibelle]

Thanks for your reply.

No I don't even invite friends over now :( through fear of a big panic attack infront of them, but I can when my husband is here. I've only got 2 friends that really understand my condition, they're the only 2 if feel comfortable with to invite over but ons lives 90 minutes away and the other has recently is a nurse who works full time during the week. My other friends I've not told about my condition as they're not really understanding. I find those that have had panic and anxiety truly understand and I feel comfortable around.

[melbee]

I make sure that everyday, I do a exposure session. I go do errands, I go for long walks alone, I go for a car ride...

Also I cook and do housework and homeworks (online uni student)

I'm also waiting for an answer for a job! I'll probably start next week... I never really had agoraphobia problems at work, only school and outside.

But sometimes, days are long, I agree!

[Col]

Wow u do loads in a day! I think your probably more lonely than anything!
Why not try a hobby, reading groups,knitting or cooking groups maybe 1, day a wk volunteering?

X

[Tense]

I only go out when I have someone with me (and sometimes i'm too scared to even do that) due to having a massive panic attack whilst driving alone. I tend to sit in front of the tv all day, maybe do some cleaning (depending on my motivation) and spend the majority of the day on the internet. I get so annoyed and even more depressed but i'm unable to do anything about it. I am currently having CBT so fingers crossed that will work!

[cat85pink]

Wow

You actually seem to do quite a bit

I have 4 hours alone in the afternoon, I ring my mum & sister, have a bath, housework, cook, see to my cats then hubby comes home for 5 hours, then I spend about 3 hours alone I watch tv suffer the net or play a game,

Used to have friends round one evening a week which always cheered me up, but id spend the whole day worrying about it, nearly canceling, now circumstances have changed we are going to have coffee afternoons, 3 of my good friends live 5 minute walk from mine,

Sometimes I think I like being alone,

[Bonnibelle]

Thanks Col. It doesn't feel I do much but I guess I never see the good things I do :D

Still don't feel ready to do any group sessions but I wish I could.

I enter competitions which I enjoy and I do read my Claire Weekes books. I have just started an online journal about my recovery. I have started healthy eating and I am really enjoying it, it's getting me to focus on something. Also I want to get fit so I am starting gentle exercise every other day.. I am trying to focus on things, although I am doing them alone at least I have a focus on something I enjoy.


Wow u do loads in a day! I think your probably more lonely than anything!
Why not try a hobby, reading groups,knitting or cooking groups maybe 1, day a wk volunteering?

X

---------- Post added at 11:05 ---------- Previous post was at 11:04 ----------

I know how you feel Tense. It can be so lonely and having time on your hands isn't good for those that over think.

I hope the CBT helps you xx


I only go out when I have someone with me (and sometimes i'm too scared to even do that) due to having a massive panic attack whilst driving alone. I tend to sit in front of the tv all day, maybe do some cleaning (depending on my motivation) and spend the majority of the day on the internet. I get so annoyed and even more depressed but i'm unable to do anything about it. I am currently having CBT so fingers crossed that will work!

---------- Post added at 11:07 ---------- Previous post was at 11:05 ----------

You do very well to mix and that's great you have good friends that haven't left your side. My friends ran for the hills as soon as I was attacked and had agoraphobia. I'd be honest and tell them why I couldn't meet up or go to their houses but they wanted nothing to do with it. Nor did my Mum or sisters so I have been left to cope alone. It has been tough but it has made me stronger.


Wow

You actually seem to do quite a bit

I have 4 hours alone in the afternoon, I ring my mum & sister, have a bath, housework, cook, see to my cats then hubby comes home for 5 hours, then I spend about 3 hours alone I watch tv suffer the net or play a game,

Used to have friends round one evening a week which always cheered me up, but id spend the whole day worrying about it, nearly canceling, now circumstances have changed we are going to have coffee afternoons, 3 of my good friends live 5 minute walk from mine,

Sometimes I think I like being alone,

[cat85pink]

Im so lucky to have good friends 3 of them have only known me like this but they dont mind that I dont drink or leave my town. The other has known me all my life, we dont see each other as often as im not able to socialize like we used to, but I understand,

My mum & sister are great too,

But most of all my husband, who fell in love with me even though I have these problems, I feel very lucky I have these people in my life

As like you say mixing in new groups is too hard for me

Xx cat

[Bonnibelle]

Having a supportive family helps so much. I have my husband and some good close friends, my children spur me on too. I don't have support from any other family members but that is ok, I will only be stronger doing this without them x

[NoPoet]

Bonnibelle - The fear of having long hours with nothing to do is what I'm struggling with. We need to remind ourselves that often when we're well, the day doesn't seem long enough! When you're out for a drive, consider "singing therapy" - this may seem like rather a desperate strategy but it is actually a lot of fun. Normally, you're supposed to sing your worries out, it doesn't matter how badly you sing, as it lightens your mood and allows you get get stuff out of your head. What I prefer to do is to sign positive things and I sometimes make myself laugh at what I come out with. I used to repeat positive phrases all the time when I was alone in the car but I have found that singing them instead makes more of a difference.

Also, I wonder if you might be going through the anxiety-depression-recovery cycle. I've found that this means people might be starting to get better, but it's a frustrating process. Consider your bouts of feeling well to be your body's attempts to kick-start its recovery - your body is trying to get well!

For myself, I am very much in the anxiety-depression-recovery cycle. When I am at my worst I don't want to do things on my own and I experience anxiety at the thought of doing many of the things I did before. However when I am feeling well I spend time with my family, listen to music, read, watch films and start working on my hobbies.

EDIT: Forgot to add, when severe anxiety starts to clear up I've found that I tend to feel more depressed. I think this is because depression and anxiety are intimately connected, and when one starts to clear up the other one steps forwards instead. Anyone who is dealing with multiple issues will probably notice this.

[patt]

You need to start doing any sport you like or possibly an artistic discipline. That will keep your mind occupied and will let you know some nice people to share your time.