NPS_Paul
31-10-06, 22:04
Sometimes i refer to recovery from Agoraphobia as being like recovery from Alcoholism. I have no experience on alcohol, but on programs they say that the recovered alcoholic is one drink away, for the rest of their life, from becoming an alcoholic again.
This morning i was woken even earlier than usual by my 1 year old, at 5.30am. The alarm is set for 7.10am for the whole family, his older 4 brothers to go to school. Anyway by 8.30am when i left my 2nd eldest who is autistic at his school, and turned to walk home all the old Agoraphobic symptoms were there.
I'm alone. Walking down the road. Who's around. Are they looking at me? I don't get the same physical symptoms of my Agoraphobic days, years ago, but mentally it's similar. Mentally i want to run home, like the bad old days. Lock the door, go into the bedroom, pull the duvet over my head and live in fear of every sound.
What i'd like to gently share is what i did next and why it is so important to other sufferers and those starting recovery.
I knew the only thing to do was to face my fear head on. I had to act immediatly, do something anything except run away. So i walked home, jumped in the car and went to the local shops. Then i had a coffee in a sea front cafe while reading a property paper. Then i phoned an agent with an inquiry. Went and saw my mother and drove her to the hospital to visit someone.
To be honest the day took off from there and until 8pm, i didn't have a free moment! It was then i looked back and thought...cor remember how you felt this morning.
It genuinely works! Yes it gets easier with practice. Weeks, months and now years. I just hope that by showing a little weakness in my self, others may gain helpful insight. Love to all readers, Paul.
Love to all members
This morning i was woken even earlier than usual by my 1 year old, at 5.30am. The alarm is set for 7.10am for the whole family, his older 4 brothers to go to school. Anyway by 8.30am when i left my 2nd eldest who is autistic at his school, and turned to walk home all the old Agoraphobic symptoms were there.
I'm alone. Walking down the road. Who's around. Are they looking at me? I don't get the same physical symptoms of my Agoraphobic days, years ago, but mentally it's similar. Mentally i want to run home, like the bad old days. Lock the door, go into the bedroom, pull the duvet over my head and live in fear of every sound.
What i'd like to gently share is what i did next and why it is so important to other sufferers and those starting recovery.
I knew the only thing to do was to face my fear head on. I had to act immediatly, do something anything except run away. So i walked home, jumped in the car and went to the local shops. Then i had a coffee in a sea front cafe while reading a property paper. Then i phoned an agent with an inquiry. Went and saw my mother and drove her to the hospital to visit someone.
To be honest the day took off from there and until 8pm, i didn't have a free moment! It was then i looked back and thought...cor remember how you felt this morning.
It genuinely works! Yes it gets easier with practice. Weeks, months and now years. I just hope that by showing a little weakness in my self, others may gain helpful insight. Love to all readers, Paul.
Love to all members