My anxiety made my relationship a disaster :(

[GADandOCD]

Hello,

So today My relationship ended because my partner couldn't take it anymore, I am very anxious asking about everything, sometimes very weird questions, I thought he would support me but I guessed I went too far asking too much and being angry most of the time digging into details.. Are anxious people bound to not find love because of this? I lost the person I love and I am very sad, this rose my depression, all because of my constant obsessions and anger.. I should have left my thoughts for me personally? What do you think? I am sad...

[Rennie1989]

What have you been asking your partner? Did you have anxieties regarding the relationship?

Don't beat yourself up, I had a boyfriend leave me because I was 'too mental', so he obviously wasn't the right man for me. And, yes, anxious people can find love, I married mine last month.

Take care of yourself, sorry to hear about the breakup.

[GADandOCD]

Thank you Rennie it is so much helpful to hear this, well mine said I am always doubting his intentions, and his love and always having angry moments, well yea because I always wanted to go out he preferred to stay home, I wanted us to live together he said no, and for example when he hides his phone I start thinking he is hiding something.. Then regarding questions well I always ask him: is my antidepressant still working? Is it possible it ever stops? Will I ever become paranoid or schizophrenic? Diabetic? Stuff like that.. He made me feel better when he used to answer me but maybe I pushed the limits

[Rennie1989]

It sounds like you two probably weren't right for each other, I know couples have to have some differences but it sounds like there were too many. There's no need to point the finger at anyone but if you feel strongly for him then maybe organise a day and time for a chat about the relationship and see if it could be given another shot or if that's the end.

As for the constant reassurance and checking, have you heard of the 'OCD Experiement'?

[GADandOCD]

No what is this?? I know I have OCD but What is the OCD experiment ?

[Rennie1989]

My therapist went through it with me. You write down something that you check a lot and note down how your anxiety decreases over a period of 5 hours (longer or shorter, depending on how long it affects you). In my instance it was when I left the house and felt the need to check the door was locked (even though I knew it was locked) I noticed high anxiety for the first few hours and then a decrease later on. It will give you an insight that to 'check' is only apparent for a short while and the anxiety will go.