Feeling at an ultimate low now:( can't deal with this no more

[Chili9]

I don't know about anyone else but I am having such a terrible time. I'm not eating, I'm hungry but can't eat, can't sleep yet I'm a single mum, who's job and studying are suffering and I feel such a useless mum. I took a massive panic attack in front of my young daughter and I feel terrible for doing so. Bless her heart, she was rubbing my back saying "calm down mummy, you'll be alright" then drew me a picture to cheer me up.
I am convinced of the 'c' word. I had proper stomach pain (without diarrhoea) for a couple of days which crippled me and I've had loose bowel movements (not diarrhoea) for about 5 weeks now, on and off. Doc felt my stomach and said ibs. Then I started getting dizzy, feeling nauseas and got pregnancy symptoms such as sore breasts etc, which calmed down but one breast is still sore. My doc examined me and said he could feel no lumps and said if there was anything abnormal he would send me off to the clinic. My full blood test came back normal.
But what has set me off now is that because of my constant and obsessive looking at my body for signs etc, I've noticed that my left muscle under my rib is different from the right. Its like its either swollen or dipped in. The left side of my body is in more pain than my right side. I've started having reflux symptoms too and my skipped heart beats have come back with a vengeance. Please can anyone tell me that a full blood test would have detected something wrong and if it would need further investigation? I was shaking violently with nerves today :weep: sorry for the long message but even physical examination from my doctor and blood tests are not putting my mind at ease! I'm soooooo frightened.

[Fishmanpa]

I highlighted a few things from your post in the hopes you'll see through the forest to the trees. A full blood workup would have detected things like increased white blood cells (a sign of infection) and raise any red flags that would warrant further investigation. Are you going to trust a doctor that has studied medicine for 8+ years, treated thousands of patients etc., or are you going to trust your panicked mind? If you're not seeking professional help with your anxiety, then perhaps it's time you did. Not only for yourself but for your daughter.

Good Luck!



I don't know about anyone else but I am having such a terrible time. I'm not eating, I'm hungry but can't eat, can't sleep yet I'm a single mum, who's job and studying are suffering and I feel such a useless mum. I took a massive panic attack in front of my young daughter and I feel terrible for doing so. Bless her heart, she was rubbing my back saying "calm down mummy, you'll be alright" (Children know a lot more than we give them credit for!) then drew me a picture to cheer me up.
I am convinced of the 'c' word. I had proper stomach pain (without diarrhoea) for a couple of days which crippled me and I've had loose bowel movements (not diarrhoea) for about 5 weeks now, on and off. Doc felt my stomach and said ibs. Then I started getting dizzy, feeling nauseas and got pregnancy symptoms such as sore breasts etc, which calmed down but one breast is still sore. My doc examined me and said he could feel no lumps and said if there was anything abnormal he would send me off to the clinic. My full blood test came back normal.
But what has set me off now is that because of my constant and obsessive looking at my body for signs etc, I've noticed that my left muscle under my rib is different from the right. Its like its either swollen or dipped in. The left side of my body is in more pain than my right side. I've started having reflux symptoms too and my skipped heart beats have come back with a vengeance. Please can anyone tell me that a full blood test would have detected something wrong and if it would need further investigation? I was shaking violently with nerves today :weep: sorry for the long message but even physical examination from my doctor and blood tests are not putting my mind at ease! I'm soooooo frightened.

[eastofeden]

Hello I am really sorry to hear you are going through this but first thing's first- you DO NOT HAVE CANCER. Your medical tests have proved that so just throw out that notion right now.

Secondly, you need to stop fearing the big c - cancer is gradual meaning there is a time frame for treatment which is longer than a lot of other serious illnesses,and secondly it is not a death sentence. It can be treated. There are people on this very forum who are survivors. But you don't have it so why think about that? You haven't even come to the bridge so don't cross it.

thirdly your ectopics are related to adrenaline rushes acid reflux. acid stimulates a nerve in the esophagus that causes ectopics so get your butt on a antacid asap.

You are not dying. You are going to see your daughter grow up into a beautiful young woman. You do not have cancer. Trust your doctor. He knows his onions lol. You have no cancer symptoms whatsoever.

You are 100% FINE!
Much love.



Thirdly

[Chili9]

Thank you for your kind replies. I just genuinely feel that I have something major wrong. Can't understand why my left side is swollen and sore. My anxiety is so high at the moment yet I've been fine most of the year so don't know what triggers it so much at times. I do hate being like this around my daughter but ever since I had her 6 years ago, I've been in fear of symptoms. I am waiting for a psychology apt but its not until January (my birthday of all days), just seems forever but thank you :hugs:

[Fishmanpa]

Just as a side note... while our bodies are symmetrical, never are they perfectly so. I've not met a woman whose breasts were identical left and right. Depending on whether you're right or left handed, the muscles in your arms and other parts will be larger or smaller. The placement of your eyes, the actual length of your fingers and toes vary from side to side. It makes TOTAL sense that you see a variance in your body from the left to the right!

[Chili9]

Hi Fishmanpa
Thank you. I understand that our bodies aren't completely symmetrical. But even my mum noticed a more bumpy part on my left rib. She reckons it might be a hiatial hernia. I have pain in my side and reflux symptoms. The pain goes all the way from my left arm pit to my ribs and to my groin area. My shoulders, especially my left again are getting more painful too. Everything on my left is painful from time to time, sometimes for long periods. Plus with the ectopic beats, apparently that's a symptom too but I don't know. I have to keep thinking of the blood test results to be sane and my doc wants me back Tuesday. Thanks for your reply, it's appreciated :)

[Raphaels]

Hello Chiil9
If your stomach us upset it does spark off ectopic beats. I have them too. Not too worried anymore as they are normal. It's our anxieties that stimulate our gastric juices then in turn extra acid then extra beats. xx

[Speranza]

Wow I didn't know that. No wonder I get them sometimes. I've had them for so long now that all I have to do is remind myself they are harmless cos they always have been in the past.

You're a wonderful mummy. Stop beating yourself up over past events and decisions. You deserve a happy life. And you are going to have one. xxx