what really goes through your mind?

[Kez_miller]

Hi guys,

My question is too find out really what exactly goes through your mind when you are so so anxious. More specifically when there isn't anything in particular that is making you anxious but you just can't calm down? those days what actually goes through your mind?

My experience is that i am afraid of what is going to happen, a fear of whats to come rather than what is happening now, My thing is that i have always wanted more in life, always wanted to be the best at what i do, be successful and achieve things to make people proud of me and look up too me! and although i am still only 22 so very young in the grand scheme of things, i have been knocked back so many times. time after time there is a knock back in life and my fear is what if I'm never happy, what if this anxiety completely destroys my life, what if i don't ever learn to drive, what if i never get my own property. What if i never lose weight and get healthy....

What if, What if, What if....for me i am starting to realise to stop asking what if! and start saying When and I can! I have only over the last couple of days changed this mindset so i can't say that i have noticed any difference really as it takes time obviously, but its important to make those steps. I have order a juicer and a load of fruit and veg to do a juice detox which I'm told can make you feel great and eliminate anxiety as well as make you lose weight.

I guess what I'm saying is as hard as it may seem, the only way out of anxiety & i guess same goes for depression, is too make them changes instead of waiting for them too happen! Im not having ago at anyone that hasn't made the changes because as true as white is white i know how god damn difficult it can be! it can seem almost impossible...but I'm here to tell you, its extremely possible! the thing that as change for me is because my father has lung cancer and has been told there is no more treatment left for him and that the cancer is still growing! that was it for me! life is too short to think what if! and live in fear of anxiety!!! so guys what really goes through your mind?

[debs71]

Hi,

I can hand on heart say that nothing at all in terms of a specific fear or thought goes through my mind when I am severely anxious.

I just feel absolutely terrified, and I don't know what of. I also feel that my body is not my own, and that I am trapped inside my head. I feel so anxious that I want to rip my mind from my skull, and have literally sat there with my head in my hands, rocking and crying.

I also feel over-sensitized to everything, especially noises. The volume on the tv sounds 10 times louder, I can't handle going outside where there are crowds of people and noise. A few weeks ago when my anxiety was rocketing, our neighbour was doing drilling work on his house, and I sat crying and hyperventilating with my hands clenched over my ears, screaming at my Mum that I couldn't bear the noise anymore.

It is the strangest and most frightening thing ever.

I get terrible depersonalisation and that is the most frightening thing for me. I can cope with the physical stuff, but depersonalisation cripples me.

It is so hard to explain, as nothing particular runs through my mind, it is just a feeling that everything is too fast, too frightening, too noisy and out of control, and that my whole world is caving in.

When I feel better though, I get so angry at anxiety and how much of my life I feel it has stolen from me...time wasted. I wish so much that I could live life without it, as it paralyzes me and everything stops every time.

I would rather break both legs than have it, and it is really only the times I get over it again that keep me going and and give me some glimmer of hope.

[MaxieP]

I'm in the grip of depression at the moment and I keep thinking of death. It doesn't mean I would do anything, but the thought of it, when I have really bad days, doesn't bother me at all. And then I think: what a terrible thing to say, and feel bad about that. The rest of the time my mind is fairly blank which goes with the endless staring in to space, which happens quite a lot these days.

[phil6]

I think I am just thinking about the anxiety itself.
It may have been specific things at one time but the habit of fearing the anxiety soon takes hold and the loop is closed... Anxiety - thoughts- more fear and anxiety... Etc.
That's why I posted http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=143743

Phil

[Rennie1989]

My anxious thoughts are often 'What if's' and I catastrophise events, for example my bus being five minutes late makes me think it won't ever turn up (thumbs up to TfL). It happens more at work, probably because I feel my job is at threat everyday. I recognise that I do it and I'm working hard to change my way of thinking.

[Kez_miller]

Isn't in absolutely mind blowing how one "illness" as it were can stretch to a wide variety of thoughts and feelings!! Maybe it's time to start looking at anxiety as an interesting factor of life rather than fear it. I guess the more you know the less you fear.

[phil6]

Kez,
I think you are right... I know if I didn't worry about or fear anxiety, then problem solved.
Trouble is, anxiety is a paradox. Our minds cannot fix paradoxes.
To fix anxiety, we must not try and fix it.... My mind doesn't like this!
Phil

[Rennie1989]

Phil - I agree that fighting against the anxiety can make it worse, or just simply carry it going. The trick to beating anxiety is to change the way you think and behave about situations, like if it's shopping with agoraphobia or meeting new people with social anxiety, to think rationally and realistically about it. Of course, it's far easier said than done, because behaviours and incredibly hard to change.

[OwenF]

Headless chicken, running from room to room telling Myself to calm down. Inability to concentrate and everything I do at work or people say means I am going to be sacked

[Allmydays]

Normally I'm caught in the moment, I can't sit still, can't concentrate, need to move. Then all I'm thinking about is moving from chair to garden, to kitchen, to... then thinking about why I can't stay in one place, that another place will be better, then that I need to move to the other place...

The worse bits though are when I pause and stop moving, then the fear kicks in, the whole terror about everything going wrong, letting everyone down and disintegrating.