Shelly06
23-10-13, 01:51
Hi,
I've been reading this forum for some time and joined a while ago but am just getting around to posting tonight.
I'm 31, have social phobia, high general anxiety, health anxiety and have always had those things.
I hardly ever go out, only with my boyfriend and with him with our dog. I can force myself to go out alone but feel very anxious. I have had jobs but they never usually last long as the anxiety is hard to conceal day after day, this leads to more panic as I have no money and we are having to live with my parents, desperately want to move out but I need to make a full time living as well as we can't afford it. I want to work, but just need something where I wont be feeling 100% anxiety all day everyday.
I've been very stressed since weekend, my stepdad told me that he might need to sell this house and him and my mum move to a smaller bungalow, which would leave us with no where to live. We want to move but it's me and my issues stopping that from happening, which leads to feelings of self hatred and guilt. I want to give my boyfriend the best life not stressing him making him feel like he's got to get three jobs to make up for me not having any.
My mum was diagnosed with Chronic Progressive MS last year, her walking is going downhill fast which is why they might need to move. I'm scared of what is going/might happen with her, I don't want to watch another family member decline and go that way, the way I watched so many others including my dad when I was 8 when he died after being ill for many years. I depend on my mum a lot as well. My sister moved away and I didn't like that and worry about her. I worry about anything happening to my boyfriend as I love and depend on him for everything. I worry about my stepdad, if anything happens to him I don't know what we'd do, he has health issues.
My general anxiety is regarding everything, my health is one big one right now, since weekend I've been feeling more stressed than usual, have been having stomach pain off and on, dizzy, tingling in hands and feet, pain in my side ( but this could have been due to big dog trying to hump my arms and kicking my ribs) chest pain of and on though not as often and I've had this for years, had a bit of spotting between periods this month off and on only lightly which worried me a lot and I've been playing Google doctor the past two days (not good I know) In the past few days my hypochondria has hit me hard again, I haven't really worried this way for ages. Since weekend I've thought I've had cancer, MS, heart attack, etc. I try not read about symptoms for fear of convincing myself that I'm feeling that as well.
As well as all other general anxiety, I can't walk the dog alone as I worry about anything happening to him with other dogs. I don't like going out alone. I worry about burglars. Dog nappers. Being alone. Not being able to support myself. Not being able to move out with my boyfriend. If we did move out and anything happened to my stepdad what would happen with my mum. The worries just go around and around and as I am in here all day with just myself and the dog I have plenty of time to think about things. I stress about anything and everything.
I've been to the doctor few times before, I've seen two counselors and a mental health nurse and they all stopped seeing me saying there was nothing to be done.
I sit in the house every single day feeling like I'm totally wasting my life. I really don't know what to do, but don't want to carry on like this. I can't carry on like this.
God I'm depressing, oops sorry :wall:
I've been reading this forum for some time and joined a while ago but am just getting around to posting tonight.
I'm 31, have social phobia, high general anxiety, health anxiety and have always had those things.
I hardly ever go out, only with my boyfriend and with him with our dog. I can force myself to go out alone but feel very anxious. I have had jobs but they never usually last long as the anxiety is hard to conceal day after day, this leads to more panic as I have no money and we are having to live with my parents, desperately want to move out but I need to make a full time living as well as we can't afford it. I want to work, but just need something where I wont be feeling 100% anxiety all day everyday.
I've been very stressed since weekend, my stepdad told me that he might need to sell this house and him and my mum move to a smaller bungalow, which would leave us with no where to live. We want to move but it's me and my issues stopping that from happening, which leads to feelings of self hatred and guilt. I want to give my boyfriend the best life not stressing him making him feel like he's got to get three jobs to make up for me not having any.
My mum was diagnosed with Chronic Progressive MS last year, her walking is going downhill fast which is why they might need to move. I'm scared of what is going/might happen with her, I don't want to watch another family member decline and go that way, the way I watched so many others including my dad when I was 8 when he died after being ill for many years. I depend on my mum a lot as well. My sister moved away and I didn't like that and worry about her. I worry about anything happening to my boyfriend as I love and depend on him for everything. I worry about my stepdad, if anything happens to him I don't know what we'd do, he has health issues.
My general anxiety is regarding everything, my health is one big one right now, since weekend I've been feeling more stressed than usual, have been having stomach pain off and on, dizzy, tingling in hands and feet, pain in my side ( but this could have been due to big dog trying to hump my arms and kicking my ribs) chest pain of and on though not as often and I've had this for years, had a bit of spotting between periods this month off and on only lightly which worried me a lot and I've been playing Google doctor the past two days (not good I know) In the past few days my hypochondria has hit me hard again, I haven't really worried this way for ages. Since weekend I've thought I've had cancer, MS, heart attack, etc. I try not read about symptoms for fear of convincing myself that I'm feeling that as well.
As well as all other general anxiety, I can't walk the dog alone as I worry about anything happening to him with other dogs. I don't like going out alone. I worry about burglars. Dog nappers. Being alone. Not being able to support myself. Not being able to move out with my boyfriend. If we did move out and anything happened to my stepdad what would happen with my mum. The worries just go around and around and as I am in here all day with just myself and the dog I have plenty of time to think about things. I stress about anything and everything.
I've been to the doctor few times before, I've seen two counselors and a mental health nurse and they all stopped seeing me saying there was nothing to be done.
I sit in the house every single day feeling like I'm totally wasting my life. I really don't know what to do, but don't want to carry on like this. I can't carry on like this.
God I'm depressing, oops sorry :wall: