LickeyEndBlues
01-11-06, 12:05
Hi there..........
I'm not sure where this will go but I feel the need to let stuff out!! And I've filed it under GA although panic might also be appropriate.
I'm been sat here looking at stuff for an interview i have tomorrow and really getting the collywobbles. That is partly due to the fact that a) I'm not sure if the job is right for me at the moment, b) I'm not sure I can do it, c) I have an ear infection which is really bringing me down and d) my mother is staying with us and really doing my head in....or of course f) all of that!!!
I still havent phoned to say I will be attending teh interview tomorrow which I feel is an indicator as to how i feel. The job is a mentors post within the Looked After Childrens service. Previously I have worked in positions where I could quite possibly have run this service, but following an ill health retirement from teaching I am currently not working.
Part of the job will put me back into a school setting working with kids with challenging behaviours and staff who possibly don't really want anything to do with them. I really don't think I'm strong enough to do this at this stage...or if I have the energy to do it anyway!! (I think this should be in Panic!!)
I've been to the docs about my ear, along with the rest of my head, and I'm on anti biotic drops which seem to be doing little. The side of my head feels numb, yet internally is throbbing. I've taken loads of painkillers and at times they seem to dull the pain but I'm trying to deal with that through some level of relaxation at present........
Which brings me on to my mother and I don't know where to start on that one!! I think the root cause of my problems lies way back in childhood but I'm not entirely sure what it is. I definately don't think I was physically or sexually abused, but there is for sure something about my upbringing that is controlling how I am at present. How I best get a handle on that I don't know.
All the time I/we get questions from her about everything. Questions about stuff she generally knows, questions about the finest detail of simple tasks, questions about everything. This is compounded by the fact that when I am in her company I withdraw into myself in a big way. She recognises this. For example , and I know in isolation this may sound strange, She has taken herself off into town while I "get on with chores". I had multiple questions about whether or not there was anything to bring back. Because of previous experience I said initially no. She was aware we were short of tea bags and bread...OK tea bags and bread says I. What sort of tea bags/bread...how many, where will i get them..etc etc Whilst I am writing this I have had two phone calls about the f****n' bread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she is bringing in sausage rolls for lunch although we have already discussed the fact that we have stuff for sandwiches (except bread!!) in the house.
I think a lot of it is done to the fact that she herself is selfish and whilst giving the impression that you can do as you please...it is only if it pleases her..........so I'd rather do nothing!!
Sorry about that and thanks for reading it. In time once I have worked out where I will unload a bit more and hopefully find a way of understanding where things are at.
Iain
Laisez les bon temp roulez
I'm not sure where this will go but I feel the need to let stuff out!! And I've filed it under GA although panic might also be appropriate.
I'm been sat here looking at stuff for an interview i have tomorrow and really getting the collywobbles. That is partly due to the fact that a) I'm not sure if the job is right for me at the moment, b) I'm not sure I can do it, c) I have an ear infection which is really bringing me down and d) my mother is staying with us and really doing my head in....or of course f) all of that!!!
I still havent phoned to say I will be attending teh interview tomorrow which I feel is an indicator as to how i feel. The job is a mentors post within the Looked After Childrens service. Previously I have worked in positions where I could quite possibly have run this service, but following an ill health retirement from teaching I am currently not working.
Part of the job will put me back into a school setting working with kids with challenging behaviours and staff who possibly don't really want anything to do with them. I really don't think I'm strong enough to do this at this stage...or if I have the energy to do it anyway!! (I think this should be in Panic!!)
I've been to the docs about my ear, along with the rest of my head, and I'm on anti biotic drops which seem to be doing little. The side of my head feels numb, yet internally is throbbing. I've taken loads of painkillers and at times they seem to dull the pain but I'm trying to deal with that through some level of relaxation at present........
Which brings me on to my mother and I don't know where to start on that one!! I think the root cause of my problems lies way back in childhood but I'm not entirely sure what it is. I definately don't think I was physically or sexually abused, but there is for sure something about my upbringing that is controlling how I am at present. How I best get a handle on that I don't know.
All the time I/we get questions from her about everything. Questions about stuff she generally knows, questions about the finest detail of simple tasks, questions about everything. This is compounded by the fact that when I am in her company I withdraw into myself in a big way. She recognises this. For example , and I know in isolation this may sound strange, She has taken herself off into town while I "get on with chores". I had multiple questions about whether or not there was anything to bring back. Because of previous experience I said initially no. She was aware we were short of tea bags and bread...OK tea bags and bread says I. What sort of tea bags/bread...how many, where will i get them..etc etc Whilst I am writing this I have had two phone calls about the f****n' bread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she is bringing in sausage rolls for lunch although we have already discussed the fact that we have stuff for sandwiches (except bread!!) in the house.
I think a lot of it is done to the fact that she herself is selfish and whilst giving the impression that you can do as you please...it is only if it pleases her..........so I'd rather do nothing!!
Sorry about that and thanks for reading it. In time once I have worked out where I will unload a bit more and hopefully find a way of understanding where things are at.
Iain
Laisez les bon temp roulez