Rocd

[Flow]

Hi guys, I'm here because I'm really sad and fed up & I feel like I need to be with like minded people. I'm suffering from ROCD and I've been with a wonderful partner for years who is so patient and understanding but it's ruining our relationship. I started suffering about 5 months ago when we were really happy; I all of a sudden remembered things I'd thought or felt in the past about him that are probably relatively normal but it started from then on. I began to then reassess all my feelings for him which I'd never done before & I have started to look back at our relationship & think how in love I felt wasn't real or that I was somehow always angry at him. To be honest I'm not sure if any of its true because I don't know how far my mind has taken my sense away but I can't stop thinking about it & it plagues me every day. It's like my mind is a pool and there's a net that keeps catching new worries and things to analyse when I'm done with the last one. I'm exhausted and just looking for some support. Thank you

[Shaznayhawkes]

Hi. I have ROCD and have the exact same thoughts. It started when we moved in together. I have a lot of baggage from when I was a child and ultimately that commitment to a person as special as my partner was a catalyst for these thoughts. They come and go, the frequency depends on what's happening in my life at the time. I have the same worry as you, how do I know that this is ROCD and not the end of the relationship? For me it's because ultimately, I don't want the relationship to end. We both want the same things, and I look forward into the future and see me with him, with children and all the other things. We've been together 9years, i couldn't do that if I didn't love him.
This forum has been a godsend. Because if your anything like me, you'll find reassurances useful until you start to analyse if it's the same as how you feel. Hopefully you'll find a way to pull yourself back when your having these thoughts and learn to cope. I'm still trying to do that but I take comfort from seeing messages like yours that help me to see I'm not alone. Hopefully you can too x