At the end of my tether

[mummyanxious]

I am so utterly fed up with my body. I have been feeling weird since my bad caffeine experience on Thursday. It's set me on high alert again I think, plus the fact I'm due my period in a few days isn't helping.
I keep needing to go to the toilet for a number two quite suddenly.
I've had ectopics again at night.
Just now I was feeling a bit edgy and was going to diet the washing machine out and got a sharp pain with a palpitation. Have had these for a while now but it has really frightened me. It was top left of my chest. I'm terrified. Someone please calm me down :(

[HoneyLove]

Mummy have you tried any relaxation methods or breathing exercises to help yourself calm down?

[mummyanxious]

Yes I quite like my relaxation cd. I just can't quell these fears that I'm going to drop down dead after one of these 'painful palpitation' episodes.

[HoneyLove]

Have you listened to the relaxation CD today?

What work have you been doing to address the palpitation fears?

[mummyanxious]

I'm not sure what work I can do to address to painful palpitations. I'm sure they're not normal. Dr won't take any notice.

[HoneyLove]

I mean are you doing CBT or going to therapy to work on the fear about your palpitations?

Don't you have reflux problems? Did we have a discussion about how reflux and anxiety can both cause palpitations?

If your doctor isn't worried then it must be OK.

---------- Post added at 13:24 ---------- Previous post was at 13:23 ----------

You didn't tell me if you listened to the CD today?

[mummyanxious]

Yes I do notice an increase with stomach issues. But I didn't have any prior to this today. My stomach has calmed down a lot since I dropped down to one iron tablet a day. Instead of having an additional one in the evening.
I haven't had any help with the palps cbt etc wise. I not long ago got some free counselling for personal issues but you only get 6 sessions before you're dismissed. They're sick of me with this heart business at the surgery as well

[HoneyLove]

CBT would be a good idea for you, as would a daily relaxation method.

[mummyanxious]

I'm beyond help with this I'm sure of it. I think I'll be worrying about it till the day it packs up.
Just done some housework and my heart is pounding. My body just doesn't tolerate anything. I'm not overweight, but I am unfit despite looking after the kids.
I'm scared to do any exercise as it makes me anxious. I was just kneeling down and then got up and my heart started thudding. Not fast just hard. I'm not even sure what's normal anymore my mind is so tuned into everything.

[HoneyLove]

How can you know you're beyond help if you've never even tried getting any help with it?

It seems like you don't really want to change at all.

[mummyanxious]

I don't want to be like this but I've been here before. Asked for help and all they'll give you is tablets for depression.

[HoneyLove]

What about arranging CBT sessions yourself? You don't need to go through your doctor. Or even counselling/psychotherapy.

Self help is just as important, I keep mentioning daily relaxation methods to you for a reason - there's science behind why they help people with anxiety problems.

[mummyanxious]

I'm a single patent so I can't afford it. I know that sounds like an excuse but really my only option is through the gp and I have only just finished my sessions for my personal problems. Counselling etc is so expensive and I'm not entitled to any discounts because I work.

[HoneyLove]

You have several options here, it can be affordable:

1 - find out if there is any reduced rate counselling available in your area. This is how I afford my therapy.

2 - go to your GP and asked to be referred to CBT.

3 - arrange private sessions in a way that is affordable for you, for example have a session once a month or every three weeks. Surely you can afford that?

Have you checked out prices in your area? Many therapists will help you find an affordable option if you explain your situation.

There are some excellent websites that teach you CBT online for free, you can work at this in your own time. My GP recommends this to me, it's excellent.

[mummyanxious]

Sorry I don't think I said, I had some counselling/cbt sessions a couple of years ago and they helped immensely. I'm much better at handling panic etc now and irrational thoughts. But the heart thing I just cannot get past. Which makes me wonder deep down whether there really is something wrong as my mind cannot use the cbt technics with the painful palpitations.

[HoneyLove]

In that case you should know from the CBT that it's not a case of your mind not being able to use the CBT techniques, but more a case of you allowing those thoughts to get out of control instead of using the techniques regularly and firmly.

CBT takes regular concentrated effort, it doesn't simply just work, you have to make it work. You have to catch yourself when you start worrying and start using one of those techniques straight away.

You might consider going back for more CBT and really look at the root of your HA.