Is it too soon to go back to work?!

[Bam_bam]

Ok I could do with some advice. I had to take 4 weeks off work (part time job) when I started panicking and two weeks into that I started my citalopram. Basically I ran out of money recently and felt ready to work again and I did two shifts this week. Problem is my work involves me stood in a cafe by myself for 6 hours (it's a really quiet cafe) and so I have always struggled to not get carried away in my thoughts as there are very few distractions and the prep work I do is mundane and boring.

So these two shifts back have each sent me into setback mode which has taken me a good two days to get over from each time because the place itself reminds me of when I was struggling most with pure-o also I've been keeping relatively busy and active outside of work so haven't been bothered by my thoughts nearly as much. So three weeks into my medication I'm wondering if its a bad idea going to work before I've properly stabilised? I'm feeling very vulnerable when I'm there as I know what spare time and too much thinking can do. I just wondered if I could have some genuine advice on whether it was a good idea to go back to work this early on in my meds? I don't want to ruin my chances of feeling stable (I've been doing really really well) by putting myself in a situation which could aggravate that. I'm aware that stopping work again would technically be avoidance however I'm genuinely getting on with everything else aside from this ( seeing friends, doing my Uni work, doing exercise) so I'm not cooped up in my room or anything.

General feedback would be hugely appreciated and be honest!

[Edie]

It sounds like keeping busy is good for you. It's a shame work isn't providing this, most jobs would! Maybe you could look into a different job that would keep you busier.

I don't think taking time off your job is avoidance, given you've been keeping so busy, started medication, and doing things that benefit your health so much. It sounds like you've been using your time very wisely.

[Rennie1989]

I have that problem too, work can be dead at times so you are often left with your thoughts. Once I have done everything I can (fill up stocks, figures up to date...) I either do some reading or writing, something that focuses my mind rather than allowing it to drift. But do make sure the café is as clean, tidy and stocked as possible so if anybody questions why you're reading you can say 'there's nothing else to do'.

[Bam_bam]

Thank you guys, thats really good advice. I think i might look for a new job (even though there arent that many about in my tiny town!!)...


I think its a combination of being left with my thoughts and also ive only worked there since ive felt really sh*tty so i think the place itself just kind of brings me down. I think im gunna see what happens when i work this week and if its as bad i might just leave. I just dont know if i cant cope with feeling this low after every shift, it makes me question my ability to cope when i cant deal with being at my workplace, which really knocks my self esteem and progress.

[Rennie1989]

I would recommend staying in the job until you find a new one. It's easy to just leave but you'll feel tons better if you stick it out. Staying in a job gives you a better chance of being accepted for a new one then if you are unemployed. And who knows how long you could be jobless for before getting a new job?

[Missteaken]

Can you ask for more responsibility at work? Make up more jobs for yourself (ie. Completely pull apart and clean the coffee machine if you don't already)? It may not be in your job description, but I'm sure that management would appreciate it, and the praise would help to boost your self esteem. Perhaps Make little games out of the jobs you do have to make them drag out a little longer and keep your mind busy while you do them?

Just a few suggestions for you hun.

I'm with Rennie on the whole quitting thing. If you really feel like you need to quit, you should have other options first. Having no job and being rejected over and over and over again whilst trying to get a new one is a massive kick in the guts (Trust me, I know. I've been out of work for 3 years now) and your self esteem plummets. Then of course the longer you're out of work, the harder it is to get back in. Start applying for new jobs now.