greensnapple37
27-10-13, 18:54
hello all! i'm ali, i'm a sophomore in college. i have always had a bit of anxiety to deal with, and i had a major depressive episode in my 8th grade year, but other than that i can't say that i've had any mental health issues that have severely affected me, that was until two months ago.
over the summer i could tell that my anxiety was gradually increasing and i made that decision that once i returned to school, i was going to start seeing a counselor. i had a panic attack the day before i was moving back to college because i had my first migraine. then, when i came back, the first few days were good, until i made the mistake of smoking marijuana that was laced with synthetic marijuana (spice or k2). the after-affects of this happening made my anxiety go haywire. i had a few mild panic attacks, looping thoughts, tension, mood swings, derealization, sensitivity to light and sound. you name it, it was like my anxiety went zero to 60 in two seconds.
i started seeing a counselor in campus, but her methods were not something that was constructive for me. she wanted to focus on drinking or smoking, while i was trying to convey to her that those were the coping mechanisms and not what i wanted help for. so i switched to an off-campus therapist who i like much better.
to end this off, my anxiety has lessened, i'm still having issues but now i can address the symptoms instead of fearing that i am going crazy, and my therapist taught me some relaxation techniques. the only problem is now that once the anxiety decreased, depression increased. now i feel continually down and disconnected from everyone because of what i've had to deal with. my life in theory is going really well right now, i have a loving boyfriend, good friends at school and elsewhere, a strong support system, many opportunities. i know in theory i should be happy, and i want SO STRONGLY to feel as zen with my life as i did the few months before my anxiety hit.
i'm considering starting a medication now for my issues, but that also scares me because i have never taken medication for mental issues before. i know i'm rambling and this is long, but i would really like some response. i'm just so tired of feeling this way, i want so much to be well again, and i was hoping here was the place i could get some understanding.
over the summer i could tell that my anxiety was gradually increasing and i made that decision that once i returned to school, i was going to start seeing a counselor. i had a panic attack the day before i was moving back to college because i had my first migraine. then, when i came back, the first few days were good, until i made the mistake of smoking marijuana that was laced with synthetic marijuana (spice or k2). the after-affects of this happening made my anxiety go haywire. i had a few mild panic attacks, looping thoughts, tension, mood swings, derealization, sensitivity to light and sound. you name it, it was like my anxiety went zero to 60 in two seconds.
i started seeing a counselor in campus, but her methods were not something that was constructive for me. she wanted to focus on drinking or smoking, while i was trying to convey to her that those were the coping mechanisms and not what i wanted help for. so i switched to an off-campus therapist who i like much better.
to end this off, my anxiety has lessened, i'm still having issues but now i can address the symptoms instead of fearing that i am going crazy, and my therapist taught me some relaxation techniques. the only problem is now that once the anxiety decreased, depression increased. now i feel continually down and disconnected from everyone because of what i've had to deal with. my life in theory is going really well right now, i have a loving boyfriend, good friends at school and elsewhere, a strong support system, many opportunities. i know in theory i should be happy, and i want SO STRONGLY to feel as zen with my life as i did the few months before my anxiety hit.
i'm considering starting a medication now for my issues, but that also scares me because i have never taken medication for mental issues before. i know i'm rambling and this is long, but i would really like some response. i'm just so tired of feeling this way, i want so much to be well again, and i was hoping here was the place i could get some understanding.