When will this end

[hadenough]

I havent been on the forum for a while for 2 reasons, firstly because Ive been so ill and secondly because I thought I should stop looking for reassurance all the time but I really need to talk about how Im feeling.

This bout of depression and anxiety has lasted 3 months so far, it started with a prolonged bout of diarrhoea at the end of July which sent me into full panic mode. I was convinced it was a serious illness and, because I was in such a state about it, the gp sent me for cancer marker blood tests for stomach, bowel, pancreatic and ovarian cancer to put my mind at rest. They all came back normal but I had started to lose a lot of weight so the worry has just continued. The gp tried to convince me that its quite common to lose weight when youre in such a constant state of high anxiety. I have been eating normally for some time now but cant put any weight back on. Im too scared to get on the scales as I dont want to know how much Ive lost but my clothes are all baggy and my skin is saggy (Im not young). I also had a full set of blood tests for the usual things done in May which had all been normal.

I have been under a lot of stress for the past 14 months and I know this hasnt helped. I moved house a month ago with my husband and my mum lives with us now so there have been a lot of changes.

I have had to register with a new gp due to moving so she doesnt know anything about my medical history apart from what Ive told her. She has referred me for counselling and I have a phone assessment on wednesday so hoping I wont have to wait for too long.

I am beside myself as I feel so physically unwell and its been going on for so long. I am tired all the time, I have no interest in anything, I cant sleep and Im constantly crying. My head feels fuzzy a lot of the time and I feel like things arent real. I get up in the mornings only to make it as far as the sofa.

I know that you can get lots of symptoms from depression and anxiety but this is by far the worst I have ever been. I am totally obssessed by my weight loss, I think about it all the time and am convinced that it is caused by something bad.

The new gp has asked if I will have some baseline bloods done even though I told her that everything done before came back normal. I also had diarrhoea again the other morning and she asked if Id ever had a camera down to check things out. This was mentioned in August but then the diarrhoea went and as the blood tests were fine it wasnt mentioned again.

Is it really possible to feel this ill for so long if theres nothing physically wrong, not sure how much more of this I can take, I am literally at my wits end with it all.

Sorry for the really long post.

[greensnapple37]

I kind of know what you're talking about hadenough, i had an issue about two months ago that trigger my anxiety and i have had many of the same symptoms you have had.

i'm new to the whole anxiety thing honestly, this is my first large bout with it, but i do know that anxiety can cause diarrhea and weight lose both. last time i went home from school both my parents pointed out that i had lost weight, even though i think i have gained from stress eating.

my advice to you would to be to not focus so much on what's ailing you. i know its hard, but confining yourself to the couch won't make you feel any better. assess your diet, try and eat healthy and maybe get some exercise, like going for a walk. find ways to distract your mind from being so worried about your health. i hope this may help and that you feel better!

[Round in circles]

hadenough, I know how scary it is when weight just won't seem to stay on. I was light but in normal weight range up until March of this year. I suffered a bereavement of a close friend and ever since it feels like my metabolism has gone haywire. I struggle to find ways to get enough calories now. I find myself constantly worrying about food, which only leads to more weight loss.

After finally connecting the junk food and my palpitations, I'm now looking to nuts and seeds in the hope that might get me back to where I was.

You ask if you can really feel so bad when there's nothing wrong. There is something wrong.. Stress. I know usually when we talk about stress, it's the short term little stresses like a bad day at work, long supermarket queues etc. When stress goes chronic, it's like getting hit over the head with a mallet. Our bodies can go completely out of whack. I know mine has.

I spent a good while feeling all over the place, and the anxiety is still kicking my derrière, but at least I feel a little more like me again. I found that doing relaxation helped calm the panic rollercoaster feeling that I had for months. I know it sounds like such a cliche, but time really does help.

[eastofeden]

Hello, I've had diarrhea maybe 70% of my total lifetime pooping habits lmao, I remember ever since I started primary school I've had it from being nervous everyday. Anytime I get nervous that day's bm will be the runs.
Your stomach and anxiety are very closely related did you know?

also I lost over 2 stone in a month last year. i was absolutely terrified because i was still stuffing my face and lazing about on my bum but the pounds were falling off like anything. i was absolutely exhausted too.

turned out i had chronic fatigue syndrome and my heart was beating too fast and it was making me lose weight because a racing heart makes a walk like jogging. anxiety and adrenaline causes hearts to race. before i started beta blockers i had no idea how much adrenaline was constantly pumping through me due to anxiety and worry. how did i live like that before i started beta blockers?? it feels so horrible! no wonder i felt sick all the time! all that adrenaline was burning up my body's fuel.

does your heart race when you're anxious? this can make you tired dizzy and lose weight very fast. you should check. my heart rate was about 75 lying down but jumped to 130 just by standing up! xxx

[hadenough]

Thank you so much for the replies. Im just so fed up with it all, every morning I get up hoping to feel better but its just the same every day. The depression seems to hit me as soon as I wake up and I just start crying again. Im getting hardly any sleep, takes me ages to fall asleep and then I wake up several times and find it hard to relax enough to get off again.

Im panicking that I cant see a way out, scared that this will never stop. I look ill as well, Im pale and look completely washed out. I just want to feel better.

[eastofeden]

you should get checked for pots/cfs.

it's harmless but causes all the symptoms you describe.
when you believe you are ill it can instantly make you feel ill.

[hadenough]

Sorry to be thick but whats pots/cfs?