terrified again

[Darren1]

i've been doing so well lately (thanks to valium and prozac) about my neck and underarm pain. am i the only person living on meds like this just because of HA???

today and yesterday been feeling a bit down and now today my neck is worst and esspecially under my arms.

what the hell is this thing? i went without my valium this morning and decided to take one just now - hoping it works .

im worried the medication is just delluding myself that there is nothing physically wrong with me and delaying the actual vital treatment and diagnosis i need.

its been 5 months now, i must admit i thought i was going to be dead by now!

for those who dont know, im worried about having stage 4 melanoma without primary skin lesion

i think the cancer has spread to my neck nodes and bones (ribs)

my bones in the CT scan were unremarkable and nodes were 1cm.

ive been told to keep taking the meds :(

still havent booked mri scan, physio or chiropractor. too scared.

[Fishmanpa]

its been 5 months now, i must admit i thought i was going to be dead by now!

for those who dont know, im worried about having stage 4 melanoma without primary skin lesion

i think the cancer has spread to my neck nodes and bones (ribs)

my bones in the CT scan were unremarkable and nodes were 1cm.

ive been told to keep taking the meds :(

still havent booked mri scan, physio or chiropractor. too scared.

You'd be very sick by now if it was sinister.

Good Luck

[nomorepanic]

The sooner you book the physio the sooner you can get the neck looked at.

Please try and get this one thing done and it may help with the problems.

[Brunette]

Fishmanpa is right.

And have you done anything about seeing a physio as Nicola asks? You seem to be avoiding anything that might actually help with the pain which seems very odd to me.

I mean have you looked into yoga, massage, even a TENS machine..?

[yenool]

Darren have you been offered and CBT or counselling? I'm sure one or the other would help you get these worries into perspective and help you manage day to day.

I also agree with nomorepanic in that getting to see a physio might help you a lot as well. Often times these pains which feel 'serious' and hurt a LOT are down to something simple like a muscle strain. Often a physio can do some exercises which can help release and strength the muscle, therefore reducing pain a lot.

I would keep taking the medications as prescribed as well. Although there is a lot of negative press about Valium and similar drugs they really can be helpful in severe anxiety and valium is often used to help back and neck muscle strains as well. The prozac should help in the long run but if you are not seeing benefits then don't be afraid to go back to the GP - there are lots of other options and some other antidepressants like Duloxetine can really help anxiety AND pain.

[Darren1]

im here again, having a really bad day worrying about my neck.

I've bought a house that I've been doing up since August and move in by end of year - this has been taking my mind off things.

I have gone 2 days without diazapam i wonder if thats why im googling again today.

Worried I have advanced melanoma still - think my neck is riddled with tumours.

ive decided to put off having a private MRI scan now until Jan/Feb because of moving house and christmas - i dont want to spoil things for everyone :-(

its now 6 months since my neck pain started and ive been on ibuprofen everyday since August. Doctors wont investigate anymore.

[HoneyLove]

Did you go to a physio yet?

[katesa]

Hi Darren

I was just wondering about you the other day so I'm glad to see your update, although sorry to hear that you are still so worried.

I wont ask if you've gone to a physio because I am certain you haven't - because you don't believe that anything other than miraculously missed, invisible to all tests except the only one you haven't had, melanoma is causing this.

I've had some weird pain for....well I don't know anymore because I quit counting and I haven't had any imaging tests done. After being checked out a few times by doctors, I'm just putting it down to "weird-body-itis" maybe with secondary "posture of a neanderthal" disease.

I think you are going to have to start preparing yourself for the fact that you don't actually have something that is going to kill you because you will get a huge shock otherwise, either when you eventually get your MRI or when you're still alive with no further issues this time next year.

You are fine hon I promise.

Is you doctor supporting you through the withdrawal of your medication?

[Darren1]

hello

no i havent - to be honest im too affraid to try anything because if they don't work i will presume its serious :(

[HoneyLove]

hello

no i havent - to be honest im too affraid to try anything because if they don't work i will presume its serious :(

With that reasoning I'm not sure why you refuse yourself a physio assessment, yet you're happy to visit you doctor or ask for MRIs to look for serious problems?

There's a missing link there, is it possible that you're afraid of finding a solution that's not what you thought it was?

[Darren1]

Hi Darren

I was just wondering about you the other day so I'm glad to see your update, although sorry to hear that you are still so worried.

I wont ask if you've gone to a physio because I am certain you haven't - because you don't believe that anything other than miraculously missed, invisible to all tests except the only one you haven't had, melanoma is causing this.

I've had some weird pain for....well I don't know anymore because I quit counting and I haven't had any imaging tests done. After being checked out a few times by doctors, I'm just putting it down to "weird-body-itis" maybe with secondary "posture of a neanderthal" disease.

I think you are going to have to start preparing yourself for the fact that you don't actually have something that is going to kill you because you will get a huge shock otherwise, either when you eventually get your MRI or when you're still alive with no further issues this time next year.

You are fine hon I promise.

Is you doctor supporting you through the withdrawal of your medication?

Correct ive had no physio! lol


My doctor hasn't withdrawn my diazapam I just thought I would see how I go without it. I think I'm ok, just 'aware' that I haven't taken.


maybe i could try physio on the basis that it may take more than one

[katesa]

I think you should give it a try hon.

While I am no doctor (unlike the other people who told you there is nothing sinister wrong with you) what you describe does sound very much postural/tension related.

I mean, I can't see how you could do up a house with even a bad muscle or joint problem, never mind something as serious as what you are thinking!

One thing to consider is that the scans you have had don't pick up many muscoskeletal issues - they are about a 1000 times more likely to miss that than any kind of "dropping dead" disease

[pearl79]

What kind of pain do you have in ur neck x

[Darbysa]

Hi Darren
While I'm glad to see in your update that you had been doing well I'm also sorry you are having a bit of a blip. I remember how bad you were a few months ago and as Kate says, it's really great that you have been able to do something major like doing up a house. Don't you think that this work may have triggered off some muscular/postural thing which is making you feel bad again? I painted some doors recently and while it felt fine at the time I did suffer with aching neck and shoulders for about a week after. Now as this is not my particular anxiety I knew it was muscle related and shrugged it off. Had it then turned into making me feel dizzy I would have started to worry again so I can understand why you're dwelling on this again.
Get to that physio!
Sal