Cancellation anxiety - MAJOR!

[Munki]

Please help guys. I'm blowing this up and need to get a sense of reality that you lot are so good at.

My best buddy of old lives in London, she's married with two kids. She's become the extreme opposite of me in that she's married a wealthy man whom she now works for and lives a rich lifestyle. She likes the finer things in life. I, on the other hand, am very bohemian and earthy and far more hippy. I like the urban way of doing things. Anyway, that's by the by...

I had to cancel a trip to see her a few weeks ago (hubby and my Mum are going too - my Mums going to babysit) as I was offered some high paid work that I couldn't afford to turn down. Now, this weekend when we're due to go my hubby , it seems, is due to have a minor op that will make travel difficult for him.

I am DREADING telling her this as I really think she'll just fall out with me. It's ridiculous I know but I'm not sure how forgiving she is. She doesn't have any time for her mother in law who has depression so I doubt she'll be understanding.

Please help :(

[Annie0904]

If your hubby is having an op than he is your priority and I am sure your friend should understand that. I would just tell her your husband will not be well enough to travel so you are really sorry but will have to rearrange again.

[Rennie1989]

If she is a true friend then she'll accept that you've had to accept work and be there for your husband. I would never expect a friend to turn those things done for me, I would feel awful! Besides, I'd be concerned if you didn't stay with your husband!

[Munki]

You're both absolutely right of course. :) It feels so much harder inside my head. I have a feeling she'll be quite cold about it. Of course I'd stay with hubby.

Weird I know, but I get this feeling that much of our socialising is with people we've met through hubby rather than me. However, I get on great with everyone and (without blowing my own trumpet) am always a sort of, central character in social situations that people seem to like? I think I'm aware of having none of my own friends to bring to our marriage...:(

[Magic]

I am sure your friend will understand Munki.
With you husband having the op and you earning some cash so to speak.
Don't be put off if she becomes difficult.
Put yourself first, and please don't stress over telling her.:hugs:
There will be other times.

[Fishmanpa]

Look at it this way. If she does get bent out of shape then she's not the friend you thought she was is she? :)

[Munki]

I have this thing about cancelling. When I suffered badly years ago I used to cancel a lot of stuff. Not with her though, bizarrely. I have a very rich life with lovely friends who I choose to see when I feel like it. I've very much about family these days. I think that's at the back of it, that I'll be judged. In truth, I suppose I wonder how similar we really are these days. She talks about nails and hair while I'm doing a Psychology degree at age 38!!
Not that I'm better! Not at all. But we're different!!

[Magic]

I admire you for what you are doing Munki. Talking about hair and nails-----BORING.

[Rennie1989]

I'd rather have an intellectual conversation over beauty any day :D

[Munki]

Thanks guys haha. But urgh, I have butterflies!!!

[Tessar]

I admire you for what you are doing Munki. Talking about hair and nails-----BORING.

Indeed, I agree totally

[Munki]

Oh guys, thank you. I guess shes hardened as she lost her Mum very suddenly 2 years ago at Christmas. Maybe it does that to you. I do feel she's a different person to the arty person i met at drama school though...
Nervous today! :(

[Annie0904]

Let us know how it goes Munki x

[Col]

If she doesn't understand - forget her! I know my words seem harsh but as u say about her mum in law - she seems to be insensitive to mental health related issues?? Maybe theirs more to the mother in law story than meets the eye BUT none the less, she's a grown mother of 2 & if she's the sort to fall out with you when u have genuine issues - forget her.

I certainly wouldn't want a friend like this! To have the worry that she'll fall out with you, indicates to me 2 things . Either - your exaggerating the problem yourself and feel like your letting her down and it will result in her getting annoyed with u & falling out! OR - she's given U a reason to indicate she will fall out with U. If the latter is the case, GET RID x

[Munki]

Well thank yo everyone for your amazing help! I spoke to my friend and she was absolutely lovely! We're meeting up in December. She couldn't have been any lovelier.

Just goes to show how I underestimated and stressed myself silly :)

You were all amazing!

[Annie0904]

I am pleased it went well Munki and that she was so understanding, you can relax now :hugs:

[Tessar]

I am very pleased to hear that munki, well done

If there is a next time.... You can recall how this went and indeed refer back to the thread for helpful advice again,

[Col]

Pleased it was a good out come - i'd keep her as a friend.