HarleyTwin
29-10-13, 18:58
It's been a while since I've joined a forum like this, and I kind of suck at being sociable on forums too. So I apologize.
I'm at a bit of an impasse right now, and I'm typing this in the middle of a panic attack - my thoughts will ramble and I apologize if I don't make much sense.
I'm alone. I live by myself and have suffered from severe agoraphobia for the last 4 years. I have two dogs, no local friends and currently, my mother (the only person I see on a daily basis, and is my legal carer.) is on vacation far away. It's also 5AM.
I live in Australia - and I know this site usually is mostly UK-based.
A few issues I'll add to this quickly so you can sort of get an idea of what I'm dealing with.
I have PTSD, Severe anxiety and agoraphobia. I'm also a hypochondriac (fantastic combo) and sadly, have Dependant Personality Disorder.
It's Wednesday, and my mother doesn't come back until Friday - and even then I may not see her until Saturday.
At the moment, I'm going through health issues. Mainly...bowel issues. Or at least, I hope that's what it is. Being a anxious hypochondriac and being alone...I'm panicking about it being appendicitis. It's awful. I'm having mild and (not constant) pains in my tummy. I haven't gone to the bathroom properly in about 2-5 days, apart from a few "pebbles" (sorry for the graphics, really I am) and just took some Movicol, hoping it's just constipation blocking wind that needs to come out. I've not a clue about the proper symptoms of appendicitis, but I've heard horror stories of it going "undetected" to the point of danger. However, I don't feel sick - apart from the usual acid reflux I suffer from and the "yuck" feeling I get when anxious. the pain is not severe, just pricks in my side once ever 5 minutes or so, and they started pretty randomly only in the last hour or two. I have no fever...that I can tell. So, that's got to be a good sign, right?
I'm kind of lost right now...I'm all alone and calling a hospital won't help. My medical records of panic attacks and hypochondria etc tend to make them treat me as an idiot and tell me to stop worrying before they just don't bother. It's very disconcerting. Plus, I can't actually *get* to a hospital due to my agoraphobia and no car...and I don't have $500 for an ambulance over something that just might be constipation and a stupid head.
I actually found this site when looking up advice on Movicol and found a thread...which is kind of lucky I guess. My greatest fear right now is getting sick because I'm stuck. I literally have no one. Unless my two dogs count, and they can't really do much...
I'm sorry this was so long. I thought it would be shorter but I guess I rambled. I don't like having panic attacks when I'm alone...especially I know I'm going to be alone for practically a week. I'm really really frightened right now and I feel like a child lost in a crowd.
I'm at a bit of an impasse right now, and I'm typing this in the middle of a panic attack - my thoughts will ramble and I apologize if I don't make much sense.
I'm alone. I live by myself and have suffered from severe agoraphobia for the last 4 years. I have two dogs, no local friends and currently, my mother (the only person I see on a daily basis, and is my legal carer.) is on vacation far away. It's also 5AM.
I live in Australia - and I know this site usually is mostly UK-based.
A few issues I'll add to this quickly so you can sort of get an idea of what I'm dealing with.
I have PTSD, Severe anxiety and agoraphobia. I'm also a hypochondriac (fantastic combo) and sadly, have Dependant Personality Disorder.
It's Wednesday, and my mother doesn't come back until Friday - and even then I may not see her until Saturday.
At the moment, I'm going through health issues. Mainly...bowel issues. Or at least, I hope that's what it is. Being a anxious hypochondriac and being alone...I'm panicking about it being appendicitis. It's awful. I'm having mild and (not constant) pains in my tummy. I haven't gone to the bathroom properly in about 2-5 days, apart from a few "pebbles" (sorry for the graphics, really I am) and just took some Movicol, hoping it's just constipation blocking wind that needs to come out. I've not a clue about the proper symptoms of appendicitis, but I've heard horror stories of it going "undetected" to the point of danger. However, I don't feel sick - apart from the usual acid reflux I suffer from and the "yuck" feeling I get when anxious. the pain is not severe, just pricks in my side once ever 5 minutes or so, and they started pretty randomly only in the last hour or two. I have no fever...that I can tell. So, that's got to be a good sign, right?
I'm kind of lost right now...I'm all alone and calling a hospital won't help. My medical records of panic attacks and hypochondria etc tend to make them treat me as an idiot and tell me to stop worrying before they just don't bother. It's very disconcerting. Plus, I can't actually *get* to a hospital due to my agoraphobia and no car...and I don't have $500 for an ambulance over something that just might be constipation and a stupid head.
I actually found this site when looking up advice on Movicol and found a thread...which is kind of lucky I guess. My greatest fear right now is getting sick because I'm stuck. I literally have no one. Unless my two dogs count, and they can't really do much...
I'm sorry this was so long. I thought it would be shorter but I guess I rambled. I don't like having panic attacks when I'm alone...especially I know I'm going to be alone for practically a week. I'm really really frightened right now and I feel like a child lost in a crowd.