Hey peeps, new and needing advice

[layla_]

Hiya

I found this forum through google. I was looking for somewhere where I could get support for my current anxiety issues.

I am a very sensitive and anxious person, yet at the same time, quite extroverted. So I kind of feel a lot of the time I have a conflict going on in me, well lately at my new job anyway.

So this is my current problem. I've recently changed jobs because the work was boring me and I wasn't going to get a payrise any time soon. I felt like I belonged to a family though, I got on with the guys there so well, considering I was the only female - I work in IT.

In my new place, I have fear a lot of the time. There's 2 bosses, ones really laid back and the other's quite excitable and very quick and witty. He makes me feel nervous as I don't think I am on the same wavelength and struggle to communicate with him. I don't really have to anyway as what I'm working on isn't his project - it's the other boss.

He's not always in, and it's not like he's an ogre, he's just a guy. I just have this real fear of speaking when he's in the office. Plus it's quite quiet in there anyway, the 2 bosses know each other really well, and all the other staff have only been there maybe a maximum of 3 months (It's a new company). I just don't feel I have anything to talk to any of them about. I do try but a lot of the time it just ends and doesn't lead to feeling I know them better or anything. So I kind of feel quite isolated.

I'm naturally quite a fun, excitable, bubbly person that laughs and sings a lot. But I feel like I have to suppress all that, so I feel just stifled, and almost terrified when the other boss is in. Kind of like I'm going to get found out - don't know for what.

Can anyone relate and does anyone have any tips? My shoulders were really sore tonight and I realised it was because I had them tensed all day. I felt like I was on alert to run at any point. I was poised, all day. Poised for what I don't know. Just tense and waiting. I couldn't relax. I can't go on like this :(

[ForeverLosingControl]

Hey! I'm new here too :)

I can sort of relate (meaning, I've felt this way about people before but not at work...)

Depending on how anxious it makes you feel, I'd personally suggest throwing yourself in at the deep end and getting to know this boss more. You may find that they're not all that they seemed to start with. Obviously do it gradually and at a steady pace but I've found sometimes that people aren't always who they show themselves to be.

Hope I helped?

[Baggs]

Be patient, give it time

[janey jane]

hello , I was like this years ago, sometime still am now and I have worked at my place for 16 years, sometimes even now I am conscious of phone work and when im talking im so aware that my boss is listening to me that I can get quite anxious about it.. It does get better with time, I am much more confident now after a lot of time, but still get days (if im feeling anxious) when I get quite anxious shaky and stumble a bit ,but that is just because I am aware that they are listening to my phone calls., I think I would be different if I worked with females but my office is male based .

[layla_]

Yes, I hate thinking people are listening to me. I'd much prefer it if there was a lot of background noise so it didn't then seem as quiet.

Yes, I much preferred working with women, they're much easier to communicate with,

[Sparkle1984]

Welcome to the forums! I'm sure you'll find plenty of help and support here - I certainly have. :) I'm a woman in IT too.