Annie 1970
30-10-13, 11:41
I'm 43, with three children (23 years, 5 years and 3 years) and live with my long-term partner.
I have suffered from panic attacks for well fifteen years but not consistently, I do enjoy sustained periods of calm from time to time!
My anxiety was tagged "health related" by my doctor, I guess some would call me a hypochondriac but I don't think so - I don't think I have the flu when I'm suffering from a cold, I am just very tuned in to my body, and any unusual aches, pains or changes. I find reading about the health issues of others (particularly that which causes sudden death) very distressing and worrying. I shouldn't really look at a newspaper at all!
I'm not actually new to this forum, it has just been a very long time since I needed to visit.
I have been panic free for six or so years until very recently when I find I am waking in the middle of the night, in the throes of an attack, or with pains in my chest or arm that will surely trigger an attack if I don't get a grip on myself quickly (not so easy when you are half asleep).
I'm not suffering from a blind panic attack, when all reason is abandoned and you are completely alone with the sheer terror of whats happening, I am able to reason with myself, remind myself that these random pains are something I have experienced many times before and can't hurt me, but I'm still really terrified. Its amazing how you can be safe in your bed, surrounded by family and still feel like the only person in the world.
I don't understand why this happening to me again. Years of sertraline and a few sessions of CBT really helped to the point that I knew the times I was vulnerable to anxiety attacks and could overcome it quickly, before it really took hold.
I've never kidded myself I'm free of anxiety, I have suffered with it since I was ten years old and believe I am predisposed to it as part of my character (slightly dramatic, extreme tendencies to worry about my health, my kids' health etc) but I am stumped as to why its back.
I feel like this anxiety thing has a life of its own, a sense of intelligence even, I'm suffering during the night because my defences are down, I've no way of distracting myself, its attacking me while I am at my most vulnerable and that makes me feel angry, because I lose all element of control.
Its very hard finding people who understand; thats why I love this site, we all just "get it". My partner finds my feelings unfathomable and my friends just feel awkward when I try and mention it. Its the proverbial elephant in the room.
Has anyone else found themselves coping well for a sustained period of time and for some inexplicable reason find themselves right back in the nightmare?!!
Thanks for listening x
I have suffered from panic attacks for well fifteen years but not consistently, I do enjoy sustained periods of calm from time to time!
My anxiety was tagged "health related" by my doctor, I guess some would call me a hypochondriac but I don't think so - I don't think I have the flu when I'm suffering from a cold, I am just very tuned in to my body, and any unusual aches, pains or changes. I find reading about the health issues of others (particularly that which causes sudden death) very distressing and worrying. I shouldn't really look at a newspaper at all!
I'm not actually new to this forum, it has just been a very long time since I needed to visit.
I have been panic free for six or so years until very recently when I find I am waking in the middle of the night, in the throes of an attack, or with pains in my chest or arm that will surely trigger an attack if I don't get a grip on myself quickly (not so easy when you are half asleep).
I'm not suffering from a blind panic attack, when all reason is abandoned and you are completely alone with the sheer terror of whats happening, I am able to reason with myself, remind myself that these random pains are something I have experienced many times before and can't hurt me, but I'm still really terrified. Its amazing how you can be safe in your bed, surrounded by family and still feel like the only person in the world.
I don't understand why this happening to me again. Years of sertraline and a few sessions of CBT really helped to the point that I knew the times I was vulnerable to anxiety attacks and could overcome it quickly, before it really took hold.
I've never kidded myself I'm free of anxiety, I have suffered with it since I was ten years old and believe I am predisposed to it as part of my character (slightly dramatic, extreme tendencies to worry about my health, my kids' health etc) but I am stumped as to why its back.
I feel like this anxiety thing has a life of its own, a sense of intelligence even, I'm suffering during the night because my defences are down, I've no way of distracting myself, its attacking me while I am at my most vulnerable and that makes me feel angry, because I lose all element of control.
Its very hard finding people who understand; thats why I love this site, we all just "get it". My partner finds my feelings unfathomable and my friends just feel awkward when I try and mention it. Its the proverbial elephant in the room.
Has anyone else found themselves coping well for a sustained period of time and for some inexplicable reason find themselves right back in the nightmare?!!
Thanks for listening x