Can't cope :(

[doodlemerchant]

Hi. Sorry about this post, I know everyone here has got their own problems and a lot of people are going through the same thing, and I hate the idea of bringing other people down with my own situation, but I just don't know what to do and need to get this stuff off my chest I think. My HA and general anx are completely out of control but my GP won't give me anything for anxiety in the way of medication. I found out from him last Friday that I have a severe vitamin D deficiency, so he has given me a prescription for that, which I obviously need because I've been feeling like cr*p for months (which is the reason my health anxiety has spiralled out of control). But I've tried and tried to tell him that my anxiety is destroying my life, I can't sleep, I feel sick all the time, panic attacks every day. And now I have this vit-D thing to worry about, he told me nothing about it so I had to google and I have most of the listed symptoms but several that aren't listed anywhere. So now all I can think about is that he missed something, there's something else going on and he should have ordered more tests etc. I'm losing the plot. I need sedatives or anxiolytics or something, because I can't go on like this. I'm so exhausted physically from being in a state of panic all the time. But GP just shrugs it off, it's like he just refuses to listen. I'm getting desperate, I've even considered buying anxiety meds from the US over the internet - the only thing stopping me is fear of getting caught. Really don't know what to do anymore :(

[MRS STRESS ED]

:welcome: you need to go back to your doctors and see someone else there must be more than one doctor you need to let them no how bad you are feeling ,and please don't buy medication online you don't no what you could be taking ,you need it to be prescribed and controlled by a gp hope you get some help soon

[Dex]

Maybe change your doctor. I did when my previous GP wouldnt help. The present one was happy to listen to my reasonings for meds. Saying that he is rather impatient with me at times but I can in a way understand his frustrations. You ain't losing the plot, you have anxiety thats why you're here. Your GP needs to help you get through it.

[Annie0904]

A year ago I was feeling just the same as you but fortunately I have a very understanding doctor. Is there another doctor at the practise you can see?
Has your doctor referred you for any counselling? If not I would ask him to do this. Let him know just how bad you are. Anxiety is a horrible illness but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I agree with Mrs Stressed...Do not buy meds on the internet. They need to be carefully monitored by a GP.

[doodlemerchant]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, all of you - I really appreciate it. I had counselling several years ago, unfortunately it didn't work for me and I was referred for CBT but due to a clerical error on the part of the local mental health unit my case was dropped before I ever saw anyone. I don't think CBT would help me though. I have thought about changing my dr but it's hard - he's been my GP since I was 7 (I'm 32 now). I have occasionally seen another doctor there when he's been on holiday but it's his practice so ultimately he's the boss. I have a pathological fear of upsetting people or making a fuss (due to upbringing). And the thought of having to sign on with another practice horrifies me, just thinking about having to explain myself and my situation to a complete stranger makes me feel physically sick. I know it would be stupid to self-medicate, I had a friend who did it and regretted it because it made her worse. But I really am at my wits' end. It's so hard to explain, I feel like a lab rat trapped in a box just running backwards and forwards over and over again. Anyway sorry, I didn't mean to go on. Just wanted to say thanks for the replies. x

[Tanner40]

A GP for a 7 year old may jot be a great GP for a 32 year old. While it is terrifying to have to tell a stranger about our problems, the only way to make things better is to take responsibility for your own mental health. If you feel that you need medication and your anxiety is out of control, by all means try talking to your GP again or find another GP. CBT has also helped many people on this board. Why not try reading a bit about it and see if that helps.