Just dont want to live anymore.

[Lyndsey]

I wake up every morning worrying about something and it ruins my day. My mind feels like its going 50 miles a minute and I cant stop it. I just keep worrying. The sad thing about it is it is stupid stuff. I woke up with my heart pouding again today. Im trying to calm myself down but its not working.[V] I just feel like I want to crawl under a rock and die.[V] I wish I could get better.

I am so glad to have someone to talk to who goes through the same thigns I do.

[hayles]

I feel for you i do.
I go through spats like this where i just want my mind to shut up.
Your not alone hun....chin up xxx

Hay x

[susie]

i feel so sorry for you , it feels like hell on earth i know what do you worry about ,

[manmoor]

Hi Lyndsey,

You are not alone in your thoughts. Isn't it great to have somewhere like this to share our thoughts with people who understand. Thinking of you.

Take Care

Mandyxx

[Lyndsey]

I really truly love this place. I just had some bad things come up with my son and I cant seem to shake it. This is whats going on in my life right now.

My younger son has to go in for surgery for a cyst behind his ear on the 8th.

My older son had double ear infections

My mother, hubby and I bought a house together. My mom has my sis's kids because she passed away. So we have 4 kids in the house. My mom couldnt find a good job around here so she went to trucking school and passed now she out on the road. So I am here with the 4 kids which I dont mind but its hard when your not used to it.

There is so much more... Thanks for letting me vent. I am in such a crapy mood. Do any of you feel like crap after having an attack like you are just drained? Thats how I feel right now.:(

I am so glad to have someone to talk to who goes through the same thigns I do.

[ceecee]

hi lyndsey i know how you feel
but things can only get better!!!!
take care rachel x

[honeybee3939]

Hi Lyndsey,

Just want to send you a BIG HUG hun, things do get better i promise you that, we are all here for you, you will never be alone Hun!


Love

Andrea
xxxx

[jill]

**Just dont want to live anymore** Ohh Lyndsey, please don't say that. My heart goes out to you hun, you have alot going on at the moment.

**The sad thing about it is it is stupid stuff** Please Lyndsey, don't be to hard on yourself, when we are at are lowest small things seem, sooo much bigger, it may seem stupid to people who have never suffered like this, BUT NOT to anyone on hear, we all understand.

**I wish I could get better** You know what they say, "be carefull what you wish for, it may come true. You keep wishing hun, one day your wishes will come true and I hope that day comes soon.

Hang in there.

Thinking of you

LOVE JILLXXX

May your troubles be less
and your blessing be more
and nothing but happiness
come through your door.

[Paddington]

awe Lyndsey hun,so sorry you still havin a bad time of it.A housfulof kidddies ..wow,,not easy !You are doing a great job.Just cut yourself some slack ,dont be so hard on yourself hun!It is the vilest feeling ,panic..lord dowe know on here!But it also makes you feel isolated too.I bet youwould benefit from the chat room you know!Give it a go.Hope you are feeling calmer at the moment ..breathe deeply and take it steady ,love mary rose,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[bearcrazy]

((((((((LYNDSEY))))))))))) Know just how you feel. Sometimes its the 'stupid stuff' that gets to you because you can't understand why it becomes so important. This place is great!!!!! Its the best place to come if youre feeling down cos we all understand, we've all been there. The chat room is cool, everyone supports each other, and you can be yourself. Give it a go. Its made me feel tons better.

[GAD]

Its not easy lyndsey, i know, but try to keep your chin up. You will get better. I used to wake up with the impending doom feeling too and just felt like i could'nt cope with the day ahead, i felt like that every morning for quite some time but it has got so much better. although i still wake up thinking oh god i have to get the kids to school, i have to do this and that, I no longer wake up thinking "I just cant do this". You can do it with some positive thinking and support. Hope you start to feel better soon!

Michelle
x

[Lyndsey]

Hi Michelle,

This is exactly how I feel every morning when I wake up. I wish I could just be happy, because I have to much to be happy for. My kids, hubby, my house. I have everything I could ever want in my life. Why cant I just be happy.[V]

I have to go to work today and I am dreading it because I feel like crap once again.[|)]

I am so glad to have someone to talk to who goes through the same thigns I do.

[GAD]

Lyndsey - i honestly do understand completely. i used to feel those terrible feelings as soon as i opened my eyes, before i had even got out of the bed, then i would feel like crying (and often did)with the thought of the struggle i had with the day ahead. (the constant thoughts going around and around in my head). Its very hard to break this cycle but you CAN do it. I took small steps at a time, firstly by giving myself a project to look forward to in the day, something that i could work towards and enjoy. This gave me something to look forward to and as soon as i woke with the dreaded feelings i would distract myself with the postive thoughts of what i wanted to achieve for that day. This worked wonders until eventually i didnt wake up with the impending doom, i didnt even think about it. its all about changing your thought patterns AND YOU CAN DO IT NO MATTER HOW HARD!! believe me. if you ever need to chat then feel free to pm me.

Michelle
xx

[bev]

hi lyndsey when ive been at my worst i used to think about hanging myself from the curtain rail, although i would never actully have the gutts to do it, it would scare the hell out of me for even thinking that way, but at the time i felt so horrible inside and issolated from myself and everyone i just wanted it to go away and thats the only way i thought would get rid of it. at the moment im better now and looking back cant even remember exactly how i felt just remember that its horrible and feels like your trapped in your own body. but now i know whats wrong with me i feel more confident that if it ever comes back il remember that it does go and although it may well come back you do get breaks from it. and you have got to learn to enjoy those breaks, dont worry about whether they will come back or not, i know thats easier said than done but you have to try.:) bev xx

b.barnes

[Acciaio]

Hi Lyndsey,
I've read your posts, and we've had similar occurances. I think if you do more research and browsing other forums, you'll find there are people that match your symptoms, feelings, and even thoughts word by word.

I did a lot of crying randomly the first few days after I had developed full blown anxiety with panic attacks. I decided to go to a counselor because I knew I couldn't handle it on my own. I told my family about it soon there after. I still felt horrible, but there were times when I felt great when I was doing things or hanging out with people. My family and hope were all that got me through. I started taking Paroxetine (Paxil) as part of my plan to get better, and I can tell you that for the first two to three weeks I felt like total crap CONTINOUSLY throughout the day. I also completely gave up hope. I felt like things would never change, because somehow my personality itself had changed for the worse. The future seemed bleak in every possible way. I completely lost interest in hobbies, and when I got a panic attack I couldn't control it. I literally walked around town ALL DAY more then once because I felt I couldn't stop moving. When I didn't have anxiety, I honestly felt like the life had been sucked out of me. Each time I went to bed it felt as if I was curling up to die...and that didn't seem all that bad of a thing to me at the time.

The bright spot comes here. I'm on my fifth or sixth week, and I feel a lot better! I've had only two panic attacks in the past week or so, neither of which even seemed that bad to me even when they occured. I reccommend seeing a counselor. He hasn't helped me directly, but he's a great guy to talk and strategize with. I also reccommend reading on breathing techniques. I can send you a couple in PM if you'd like with some techniques of my own.

Another thing that helped me was accepting that panic attacks and anxiety are just part of your life for the moment and accepting it. Remind yourself that while YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT for a couple weeks, but IT WILL GET BETTER. The way you feel about life will improve too, and when that happens, your other problems in life will seem much more bearable.

I wish you the best of luck. Trust me, you can do it.