Young but damaged

[Izzytheanxietyqueen]

Hi I'm izzy and I'm 14 years old. This yearning may my dad died of sudden heart attack and I saw it happen. Ever since I have had extreme anxiety and from that depression. I have had scary thoughts today because I have been scared of death and I have health anxiety but today I have had such scary thoughts like that what if he is not really dead but just left you and why are you here just die and things I have told my grandma because my mum isn't understanding very much and she said that it's just a natural reation to grief and I will soon be a lot better but I have to be positive but today I have felt awful after a dream last night about that my dad didn't die he just left us for another family which hurts a lot I know it's fake but it's horrid thoughts and I hate the thoughts because my dad was my best friend almost we were so alike and now I am accepting he is dead but its horrible. I just don't enjoy life any more really and I'm so afraid of everything I hate it!!

[Edie]

Hi Izzy, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Your grandma is right that this is common in grief and that things will get better. However, the intensity of your feelings is stronger than healthy grief, and it would be a good idea for you to seek some professional help to guide you through this.

Your mum has also faced a terrible loss and maybe just can't support you the way you need. It's great you have your grandma, but the support she's offering just doesn't sound enough.

Witnessing your father's death may well have caused a PTSD kind of reaction, as it must have been extremely traumatic for you. This is another thing that the right kind of support can help you heal.

The best way to get support would be to approach your GP. Would your mum or your grandma be willing to take you?

[Tanner40]

My brother died when I was eight years ole and no one talked about it. It left me with a feeling of responsibility for his death, which started panic attacks. While grief is a normal process, I so wish that I had the opportunity to receive professional help. It would have caused me a lot less problems later on in life. Find opportunities to talk about your dad and his death. It will help you greatly.