Having a huge panic attack right now

[Hypo]

I am sure I have HIV/AIDS

If I caught it it would have been over 8 years ago and I haven't been tested. Had no high risk sex particularly but could have caught it.


I keep getting mouth ulcers.

Today I woke up and noticed a white spot on my gum, not painful, just a white spot. White spots are HIV signs.

I always get vaginal thrush, have done since a teen though.

I have had 3 mouth ulcers this week.

My husband of 8 years has no signs.

I can get a test on Monday when I see my GP I guess but right now I am in a state. If it IS HIV I have left it too long anyway.

---------- Post added at 10:46 ---------- Previous post was at 10:22 ----------

I have a blood blister too :(

[Liviguy]

Hi

Mouth ulcers are also caused by stress. My wife gets constant mouth ulcers, and she also gets thrush a lot (due to sensitivity) some products give her it, some don't.

Do you have any children?

[Hypo]

Yes but I refused the testing as I was too scared.

I don't know what to do :(

[Liviguy]

I thought they automatically tested for HIV when you were pregnant along with all other STD's. My wife was with both our kids and I can't remember her being asked if she was happy with it. I may be wrong.

What exactly makes you think you have HIV? I won't ask personal questions about your sex life prior to marriage but is it stemming from that?

[Hypo]

I had sex once unprotected, about 9 years ago.

He didn't ejaculate inside me. It didn't last long, it stems from that.

[Liviguy]

I had sex once unprotected, about 9 years ago.

He didn't ejaculate inside me. It didn't last long, it stems from that.

I'm not a betting man but I would urge you to stop panicking. From what I know it is very difficult to contract HIV through penetrative sex, the fact that you had unprotected sex once would in my opinion be a ridiculously low risk to nil risk.

Please stop worrying. Go for the test and put your mind at ease.

[Hypo]

Thank you.

I know my ex husband doesn't have it as he was tested when he had cancer.

I don't get why I have a blood blister on my upper lip, it not even where I bite it and a hard white spot on my gum. I have had a few of them with ulcers.

What else could it be?

I also caught a sickness bug so have been vomiting for days. I am not worried about it as we have all had it but I have got in such a mess I can't function today.

Monday is SO long to see my GP.

I need to stop looking inside my mouth with a torch. It isn't going to change anything.

[Hypo]

Another ulcer today but It might be due to all the poking I have done?

[Andria24]

Hypo stop. You are fine. The ulcers etc could be any number of very minor it's-no-big-deal things. I get them sometimes. I don't have HIV.

I too have had unprotected sex with a guy, years ago. I was married to him (now the ex). Still having it now. Ok, not as much as my (now) husband would like but you know what I mean ...

Look we all home in on stuff and let our thoughts run out of control. Take a deep breath. You are fine :hugs:

[Fishmanpa]

I am sure I have HIV/AIDS

You may be convinced but based on reading the thread I'm not :)

I really don't think you have anything to worry about but that's easier said than done I know. If you really feel the need, then get tested.

Good Luck!

[Freddiemercury]

If I can offer any advice - a couple of weeks ago my sister saw an ex of mine and would not stop going on and on about how skinny he got, and how "he just didn't look right". I had a bad sore throat at the time. Automatically I couldn't stop thinking about HIV. I was scared to death to get tested but I did and it was the ONLY thing that has EVER helped my health anxiety! It came back negative and it was something I truly no longer had to worry about. Every other test I've had only gave temporary relief for me. For example even though I had a chest xray two months ago I still at times become convinced it didn't pick up on lung cancer or I didn't have it then but now I do. It felt so good to get a test where you don't have to worry about spontaneously developing the disease after being negative! I highly recommend getting tested :)

[Hypo]

I am just waiting for my mum to call me back with her work hours then I will book a test for some time this week.

I can't shake the fear. If I have it it would probably be full blown AIDS by now

[Hypo]

Test tomorrow.

Takes 10 days for results.

How the hell will I manage that?

[Freddiemercury]

Hypo I'm not sure where you are or what services are in your area but I got my results back in 10 minutes and it was free. The rapid hiv tests are pretty much just as accurate as standard blood tests and that's all they do around here. My understanding is that if someone gets a positive result then their blood is sent out for a full test to confirm. Is there anyway you can search to see if there's a place like that around you? 10 days is a long time to wait I'm in the middle of that now with a mole biopsy and I'm losing it!

[Hypo]

I can't find anywhere here that does the rapid testing :(

---------- Post added at 19:37 ---------- Previous post was at 19:36 ----------

Talking to someone might help me enough though.

[Hypo]

Test in an hour

results in 7-10 days

I am not actually sure I want to do this.

---------- Post added at 08:00 ---------- Previous post was at 07:47 ----------

My husband doesn't want me to.

He thinks it's another way of me avoiding the real problem, my anxiety, and if I keep getting needless tests I will never recover.

[Freddiemercury]

Good luck hypo. I know in my heart you'll be okay and feel better soon. Though your husband does have a point, for all of us. Seeking reassurance is not only short lived but problematic because it keeps reinforcing our need for it to "feel better". As a therapist friend said, would you tell a person who has OCD and checks the stove 50 times that they would feel so much better if they checked the stove 100 instead? No, because the point is it will never be enough to make them feel better until the underlying issue is addressed.

[Hypo]

Well had it done. They marked me as urgent so results will be back on Friday at the very latest.

She said my risk was zero though :)

Thanks, Freddie x