worried again about cancer - bone cancer specifically

[livethelife]

Hi all.
Just needed to type this up to get it off my chest. I am a 48 year old female who has suffered with health anxiety since i was 10 years old. I have had lots of good years in between my flare ups with health anxiety. Typically my worries have surrounded cancer, heart issues and MS. I have journaled much of what i have been thru since 1996 so i can look back and see if what i feel now, i have felt before.

So what's going on now is this. It has really all just come to a head in the last couple of weeks. I have pain in different parts of my body - ribs, spine, shin and have been sick with what seems to have been 3 colds strung together over the last 3 weeks. I am really freaked out. My mouth is totally dry (which of course is a symptom of anxiety and the type of bone cancer I think i have). I saw my doctor two weeks ago for a mole that I was concerned about - she didn't think it looked like anything serious but referred me to a dermatologist - haven't found out yet when that appt will be. At the same time i saw her i asked her for a blood work requistion - I am going for that blood work today and i am absolutely petrified. I am afraid that the phone is going to ring this afternoon with my doctor calling to say she wants to do more tests. or maybe she will leave that call until after the weekend. either way i am an absolute mess. thanks for listening.

[Worrier_78]

Please dont worry. The best is never to get the test done on a Friday as the results will be postponed until after the weekend. I always try to get the test done on a Monday, result is usually in on a Tuesday.
Try using distraction until the result comes back and I am sure it will be NORMAL. Bone cancer is usually NOT the primary one. It usually has an underlying cancer that results into bone cancer. I know how hard it is to think straight. PLEASE dont google at all. Hope you have some friends or family to go to until your results return. please do post after you get your result.
All the best.

[livethelife]

thank you so much for your response and encouragment. i read your reply while I was waiting to get my blood taken - so i went ahead with the Friday test - the girl taking the blood told me that my doctor will have the results this afternoon - of course that doesn't mean that i will hear anything today since it is Friday. So likely i will have to wait until Monday but i have had times when my doctor has called me right away when she gets tests back even if they are normal because she knows i am a worrier.

not sure what i will do all day - need to really get beyond this and just carry on until i find out anything different.

i have not really eaten anything since the day before yesterday so I will try to find something to eat that appeals to my nervous stomach.

[roxy90]

I had terrible shin pain, I still have awful rib and back pain
I also thought I had bone cancer, I didn't. It is very rare to get primary bone cancer, it's usually a secondary cancer thats spread from another cancer elsewhere, which you'd ready know about. I extremely doubt you have bone (or any) cancer x

[livethelife]

thanks roxy - all of these reassurances help me a lot right now :D

[livethelife]

getting thru the day - even managed to go on the treadmill for 35 minutes with relatively little pain in the areas that are bothering me. no call from my doctor after the blood work - now i have to wait out the weekend. oh well

also my mouth is so dry - i guess this is due to anxiety - but extreme thirst is also a symptom of myeloma. ugh.

[Tense]

The more you focus on the pain, the worse it becomes. For all you know, the pain may have gone completely but you're still feeling it because you're focusing on it. (if that makes sense?)
Do something to keep you brain active, like going to the pub with your friends, and off the thought of the pain and when you're done look back and see if you noticed the pain whilst doing that activity.

---------- Post added at 19:16 ---------- Previous post was at 19:12 ----------


getting thru the day - even managed to go on the treadmill for 35 minutes with relatively little pain in the areas that are bothering me. no call from my doctor after the blood work - now i have to wait out the weekend. oh well

also my mouth is so dry - i guess this is due to anxiety - but extreme thirst is also a symptom of myeloma. ugh.

Thirst can be a sign of ANYTHING. Most likely it's caused by anxiety or dehydration. You body uses a LOT of it's resources when you're anxious and they'll need replacing, hence why you feel thirsty :)

[livethelife]

thanks tense.
i do have a hard time keeping busy when I'm like this - I know i just focus on it too much. doesn't help that it is going to be a brutal rainy weekend here so there won't be any outdoor activities.

another thing that i have to keep in mind is that i know of someone - a woman my age (a pediatrician too) who died of myeloma less than 2 months ago. when i heard about her passing away I thought well at least i don't worry about myeloma anymore because i have had other times in the past where this has been a concern. it may not be a coincidence that now i am having all of the symptoms of this type of cancer. sigh. i really don't like how my mind works sometimes.

[Andria24]

It sounds as though you're on the right track re tests etc, and the speed with which they can sort through blood work these days is pretty rapid (here same day results), so all being well all is well.

I know that we can take on symptoms, and assume the worst, when we know someone that's suffered a serious illness. I seem to potter myself about bowel cancer. Then, having just supported a friend whilst she's nursed her sister through end-stage gynae cancers, I started thinking the odd lower belly gripe was something like that. I guess you'll know the (horrible) drill.

I guess my point is that we all have to try and figure out how to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Honest the mind boggles at what it fixates on, and why :)

[livethelife]

i have been there before re: ovarian stuff - had myself in a terrible state last year around this time - ended up having to wait almost 6 months for an ultrasound but i felt better about it after my doctor did an internal and didn't feel the need to rush an ultrasound. all was well :)

[livethelife]

having an up and down today - one minute I'm convinced I'm fine and the next minute I get a twinge or pain somewhere and that sends me off the deep end. trying to stay busy. and I'm sure I'm driving my husband crazy. every symptom i feel, i try to rack my memory to see if i've ever had it before.

[livethelife]

Had a rough night. Woke up and then was very aware of the pain in my spine. Started shaking and crying. Eventually got back to sleep. Now I'm thinking about when I had my blood drawn on Friday. I am thinking that it looked darker than usual - and I'm thinking this would be because I have none or few white blood cells. But honestly I can't really remember what colour it was in the past it just seemed dark on Friday. I am going to try not to google anything about this.

[Worrier_78]

trust me i know how it feels. my cbc came back normal last week tuesday and they sent the report to me. i started evaluating each number in the report and drove myself crazy. Since friday evening, you have no idea how many symptoms i associated with horrible things, mostly the worse ones however, my HA is due to the xanax withdrawal. Call them yourself first thing tomorrow and get yourself reassured. i know its not easy but try to keep busy. you are NOT alone. pls keep us posted here.
can you go out and take a walk?? my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[livethelife]

thank you worrier. i didn't get out for a walk because it's raining here but i did just finish 25 minutes on the treadmill. i am trying to keep busy. not sure if i am brave enough to make that phone call tomorrow morning - just the thought of it makes me feel sick to my stomach :( but for sure if i have not heard anything nearer to the end of the day tomorrow i will give them a call. i am so scared the phone is going to ring with my docs number in the call display. i have lost 5lbs since thursday - no appetite but i have been able to get down some smoothies and we just did some juicing. thank you for praying for me. i appreaciate that. blessings, h.

[Worrier_78]

Livethelife, any news??? I am sure all is OK.

[livethelife]

thanks so much for asking.

my cell phone rang at about 12:30 today and yes it was my docs office calling - i was so scared to answer but of course had to. it was the clinic manager calling (who I know quite well - actually i know all of the staff quite well because i am a pharmaceutical sales rep and call on this clinic regularly for work) - anyway she said doc wanted to see me for blood work follow up - gulp...
she said that my vitamin D is low and that is why the doc wants to see me - i asked when i could see my doc and she said that she was booking a few weeks out (which made me feel better that it wasn't urgent) but that there was an opening tomorrow at 9a.m - how convenient my mind thinks :)) so i am guardedly optimistic that it is only a low vit D that has given me the call back and that she was telling me the full story.

of course i have now googled vid D deficiency and see that it is quite common - many people don't know they have it and to my knowledge this was the first time that my doctor had ever done this test as part of my blood work. also i eat vegan and it seems that vit d deficiency may be more common in vegans as dairy is heavily fortified with vit d. vit d deficiency can explain some bone pain/aches etc as well.

so i have to wait until tomorrow morning to find out more. i am still nervous but not as much as before. i will post a follow up here tomorrow after my appt.

i really appreciate you asking the outcome. that means a lot and says a lot for the support that can be found thru this website :)

*as a side note - after the docs office called i called my husband at work to tell him - he knew they were going to be calling me because he had just called them and talked to the clinic manager who had called me - he told her i was totally freaked out and could she call me. he said that he hoped i didn't mind that he did this - i didn't - i'm just glad i have an appt tomorrow morning now.

[Fishmanpa]

It's interesting you mention the vitamin D deficiency. My boss was recently told the same thing. Since he started taking a supplement, his energy levels as well as some aches and pains have gotten much better.

[Worrier_78]

thanks so much for asking.

my cell phone rang at about 12:30 today and yes it was my docs office calling - i was so scared to answer but of course had to. it was the clinic manager calling (who I know quite well - actually i know all of the staff quite well because i am a pharmaceutical sales rep and call on this clinic regularly for work) - anyway she said doc wanted to see me for blood work follow up - gulp...
she said that my vitamin D is low and that is why the doc wants to see me - i asked when i could see my doc and she said that she was booking a few weeks out (which made me feel better that it wasn't urgent) but that there was an opening tomorrow at 9a.m - how convenient my mind thinks :)) so i am guardedly optimistic that it is only a low vit D that has given me the call back and that she was telling me the full story.

of course i have now googled vid D deficiency and see that it is quite common - many people don't know they have it and to my knowledge this was the first time that my doctor had ever done this test as part of my blood work. also i eat vegan and it seems that vit d deficiency may be more common in vegans as dairy is heavily fortified with vit d. vit d deficiency can explain some bone pain/aches etc as well.

so i have to wait until tomorrow morning to find out more. i am still nervous but not as much as before. i will post a follow up here tomorrow after my appt.

i really appreciate you asking the outcome. that means a lot and says a lot for the support that can be found thru this website :)

*as a side note - after the docs office called i called my husband at work to tell him - he knew they were going to be calling me because he had just called them and talked to the clinic manager who had called me - he told her i was totally freaked out and could she call me. he said that he hoped i didn't mind that he did this - i didn't - i'm just glad i have an appt tomorrow morning now.

It may sound crazy but I really did check this site to see if you replied and I really really felt for you yesterday knowing it was Sunday and you had a whole day waiting before you would get the results. I am very happy for you. I had Vit D issue too. It went away itself. it was very low , I had to have a shot each week. But now those levels are very very normal. I am freaking out because I went to the GP today and my Ferritin level is low , though all the other iron levels are totally fine so I dont have anameia. Doctor gave me the iron tablets to take for 3 months but yes I have googling and should not have done that. Google should be banned!!!
Anyways, please relax and have a good night rest!!!!! As the name of this site : No more Panic!!!!!

[livethelife]

Worrier - I have had low ferritin before too - at one time (many years ago) my level was 8 (not sure what country you are in and if the units are the same) - normal is apparently 10-291 or at least that's what my blood work sheet says - seems like a really really broad range - i have done some more reading on it over the years and it seems that at least 50 is ideal.
in March 2012 it came back low again - although my doc didn't consider it low but it was 15 - she said it couldn't hurt to start taking an iron supplement - so i did and last fall it was up to 38. Not sure where you live but we have a product here in Canada called Feramax. it is so much better than the older forms of iron. it doesn't cause constipation or stomach upset :)
if you are female than low ferritin is pretty common especially if you are having periods.

---------- Post added at 22:36 ---------- Previous post was at 22:35 ----------

Fishmanpa - thanks for your comments - good to know that supplementing has made a difference for your boss :)