Col
02-11-13, 15:02
Hi guys basically I will try and find an old thread BUT
My mums ruined my wedding, (We married in secret )she tried taking over my daughter when I lived lived her when my daughter was born. She named my daughter, smacked and screamed at me, basically her and dad had a very volatile relationship and when they finally split all her frustration shed take out on my and my hubby then boyfriend. Because he was from another culture , just added insult to injury when she used to make comments like "just like your father he is. - you'll have a dogs life" ect. I was actually older than my parents when I had my daughter compared to when they had me. You think they'd try and support 20 year old daughter with a newborn & we both working and managed to get a mortgage on a house but needed loads of work , so stayed with mum. Dad left and all her frustration she'd take out on me and my now grown up life.my brother has had ZERO contact with her since 2005 & partly because he saw how shed shout , hit, curse & wanted to take my daughter as her own. Don't breastfeed oh no you don't want to be doing that! (SHE EVEN FORCED US TO GIVE HER THE NAME MIA, we had issues from hubbies side culturally also, so we were very vulnerable)Not in an adoptive sense BUT by running my now hubby down so that I'd stay with her with my daughter and fill the void of dad leaving! BY rights it should be me not in contact with mum , always a good kid growing up , nothing bad was ever brought by me to my parents door & I had a job at 14, then weekend jobs from 16! I've got a science degree ect always got off my behind. So ME AND HUBBY now married for 9 years almost together for 13 we've got our own house in a lovely area! Didn't she get it All wrong ! Again jealous her and dad never married & she always says she wanted 4 kids BUT only got 2!
So 4 years ago baby 2 she ruined that because my dad looked after our daughter over night whilst I was in hospital! Next day I spoke to mum off hospital ward she was AWFUL VERY PISSED OFF, not at all botherd about my traumatic labour JUST mad for herself she didn't get Mia! She shouted at me over the phone when i was on the ward "im your mother " blah blah & i was sooo tired i lost it swore and put phone down! How embarrasing & my hubby was furious!
Thing is I never really made formal arrangments as time went on I just thought better not say defo about her having Mia because it'll end in tears - IT DID ANYWAY! Also my kids do have 3 other grandparents!
So now I'm having 3rd and final baby & it's hotting up she's trying to drag her partner in as a step grandfather. She involves him and hes sooooo under the thumb he'll say things to me because he's been prompted by her OR because he knows he'll get a telling off if he doesn't ask. Such as " well have to take kids to the zoo Collette" ect. Never said they couldn't ?? Dare not say NO TO HER! This is the same man she was ready to leave after a brief afair with his boss only in the past year. BUT for some reason expects me to involve him to the same level as my own dad ??? Also I seem to bare the burden & embarrassment for my brothers absence in her life??? God only knows what she's told her partner - well like all my mums sister, it's always blamed on my dad? It really should be me who cut her off, but im a traditionalist compared to my brother!
SHe never went banging on my dads door , like most mothers would? She claims she was severely depressed and it would go against her in court. I don't care I would have battered the door down for my kids! The depression comes from (9 years later she still on disability allowance, shops at M&S. Travels & great social life??) when she was sectioned as she took an overdose of the safest pills known to man, apparently?? This happend just after she found out i was married, i left with my 3 year old and moved in to inlaws & a week later my mum sectioned & my mum OD whilst little bro was in house??? Because she lost control, no money dad & i left , she never wanted to work blah bla. So Me and my bro went to visit initially and I know this sounds odd but the psychiatric nurses didn't even believe her , they said a cry for help and she was making superfical self harm marks after seeing the 'seriously ill' patients doing this?.
Shes on a very fine line BUT because I'm already very anxious about the labour I need advice - how should I deal with her this time! She is not going to impose herself this time BUT what do I do????
Hubby keeps saying she'll come and sit all day , & everyone else won't get a look in! Shed even expect me to tell my dad to go so she can stay & I'm determined to breastfeed this time & she will NOT like this. TheN she'll try taking kids out or saying Steve (her partner) will take kids round to mac donalds and they'll insist! All 6 weeks holidays ive been ill & in the end they never botherd taking kids to mc Donald's for an hour then ?? If I'm in bed my hubby will have to deal with all this and their insisting, easily offended ways! Ultimately resulting in a row if she doesn't get her way! Just gone on for far toooooo long, needs to STOP!
But she goes baby ga ga & she's got an extreamly bad track record!
How do you deal with a mum /parents like this , I'm now32 and enough is enough!
I'll try and find an old thread of mine for more background if u fancy a read! This is a massive massive issue! Don't need to be loosing sleep over this.:mad:
My mums ruined my wedding, (We married in secret )she tried taking over my daughter when I lived lived her when my daughter was born. She named my daughter, smacked and screamed at me, basically her and dad had a very volatile relationship and when they finally split all her frustration shed take out on my and my hubby then boyfriend. Because he was from another culture , just added insult to injury when she used to make comments like "just like your father he is. - you'll have a dogs life" ect. I was actually older than my parents when I had my daughter compared to when they had me. You think they'd try and support 20 year old daughter with a newborn & we both working and managed to get a mortgage on a house but needed loads of work , so stayed with mum. Dad left and all her frustration she'd take out on me and my now grown up life.my brother has had ZERO contact with her since 2005 & partly because he saw how shed shout , hit, curse & wanted to take my daughter as her own. Don't breastfeed oh no you don't want to be doing that! (SHE EVEN FORCED US TO GIVE HER THE NAME MIA, we had issues from hubbies side culturally also, so we were very vulnerable)Not in an adoptive sense BUT by running my now hubby down so that I'd stay with her with my daughter and fill the void of dad leaving! BY rights it should be me not in contact with mum , always a good kid growing up , nothing bad was ever brought by me to my parents door & I had a job at 14, then weekend jobs from 16! I've got a science degree ect always got off my behind. So ME AND HUBBY now married for 9 years almost together for 13 we've got our own house in a lovely area! Didn't she get it All wrong ! Again jealous her and dad never married & she always says she wanted 4 kids BUT only got 2!
So 4 years ago baby 2 she ruined that because my dad looked after our daughter over night whilst I was in hospital! Next day I spoke to mum off hospital ward she was AWFUL VERY PISSED OFF, not at all botherd about my traumatic labour JUST mad for herself she didn't get Mia! She shouted at me over the phone when i was on the ward "im your mother " blah blah & i was sooo tired i lost it swore and put phone down! How embarrasing & my hubby was furious!
Thing is I never really made formal arrangments as time went on I just thought better not say defo about her having Mia because it'll end in tears - IT DID ANYWAY! Also my kids do have 3 other grandparents!
So now I'm having 3rd and final baby & it's hotting up she's trying to drag her partner in as a step grandfather. She involves him and hes sooooo under the thumb he'll say things to me because he's been prompted by her OR because he knows he'll get a telling off if he doesn't ask. Such as " well have to take kids to the zoo Collette" ect. Never said they couldn't ?? Dare not say NO TO HER! This is the same man she was ready to leave after a brief afair with his boss only in the past year. BUT for some reason expects me to involve him to the same level as my own dad ??? Also I seem to bare the burden & embarrassment for my brothers absence in her life??? God only knows what she's told her partner - well like all my mums sister, it's always blamed on my dad? It really should be me who cut her off, but im a traditionalist compared to my brother!
SHe never went banging on my dads door , like most mothers would? She claims she was severely depressed and it would go against her in court. I don't care I would have battered the door down for my kids! The depression comes from (9 years later she still on disability allowance, shops at M&S. Travels & great social life??) when she was sectioned as she took an overdose of the safest pills known to man, apparently?? This happend just after she found out i was married, i left with my 3 year old and moved in to inlaws & a week later my mum sectioned & my mum OD whilst little bro was in house??? Because she lost control, no money dad & i left , she never wanted to work blah bla. So Me and my bro went to visit initially and I know this sounds odd but the psychiatric nurses didn't even believe her , they said a cry for help and she was making superfical self harm marks after seeing the 'seriously ill' patients doing this?.
Shes on a very fine line BUT because I'm already very anxious about the labour I need advice - how should I deal with her this time! She is not going to impose herself this time BUT what do I do????
Hubby keeps saying she'll come and sit all day , & everyone else won't get a look in! Shed even expect me to tell my dad to go so she can stay & I'm determined to breastfeed this time & she will NOT like this. TheN she'll try taking kids out or saying Steve (her partner) will take kids round to mac donalds and they'll insist! All 6 weeks holidays ive been ill & in the end they never botherd taking kids to mc Donald's for an hour then ?? If I'm in bed my hubby will have to deal with all this and their insisting, easily offended ways! Ultimately resulting in a row if she doesn't get her way! Just gone on for far toooooo long, needs to STOP!
But she goes baby ga ga & she's got an extreamly bad track record!
How do you deal with a mum /parents like this , I'm now32 and enough is enough!
I'll try and find an old thread of mine for more background if u fancy a read! This is a massive massive issue! Don't need to be loosing sleep over this.:mad: