phoenix
03-11-06, 17:04
Ok...
Ive been 'dealing' with a phobia of being ill for a few years now. Being an analytical type ive traced my fears back to incidents of food poisoning - but more than that, while the idea of being sick, or having dihorrea absolutlely terrifies me, i think its the lack of control that is my real fear.
Approx 5 years ago I got a virus 'Labyrinthitis' which affects the inner ear, making me dizzy as a duck on a roundabout! most people who get this, get it for a week, and it returns every few years for another week or so, with symptoms akin to seasickness and extreme dizziness. Unfortunately for me, im one of the 'lucky' few who get it constantly... its got better gradually (im not lying on the floor hanging on anymore) but its always there in the background and severely limits what i am able to do. Basically the illness controls what i can do and when. This lack of control over my health has, i think, aggravated my problems with food and sickness.
I check dates on food religiously, and when i forget, panic ensues.
Today i was having a tin of soup (washed the pan first - dont trust that I washed it properly or well enough yesterday, worry that the water isnt hot enough to kill any bugs, or that the washing up brush isnt clean), washed the TIN (yep thats how weird I am) still wasnt satisfactory, so instead of using the ring pull, used a tin opener on the (washed) base of the can. halfway thru heating the soup, realised that the tin opener may have contacted the soup itself, and thus any germs on the tin opener were now in the soup. so there was no way i was eating that.
big argument with dad who doesnt understand why i have these problems and why I cant see how silly im being, when to me, never mind the odds of getting ill, the fear is so very real.
the fear of being ill has extended now so that I have to wash my hands well with antibacterial soap before ill eat anything, and crockery and cutlery also have to be washed before use.
does anyone have any ideas of how i can deal with this???
I had CBT over two years ago, and while i think at the time it helped, my problems now are worse than they ever were, and making lists of how anxious i feel at regular intervals after eating seems completely pointless to me, as i work on a 24 freak out anyway - if i dont have any symptoms of food poisoning within 24 hours then im ok -
Also im terrified of coming into contact with anyone who has been ill / been near anyone who has been ill with sickness and or diahorrea.
Im going to go back to the doctor got ask for more help, though they dont seem to realise that for a person with these fears, going to the drs, or the hospital for appointments is completely TERRIFYING!!!!
please help if you can !!!
Sorry ive gone on for so long
xxx[:I]
Ive been 'dealing' with a phobia of being ill for a few years now. Being an analytical type ive traced my fears back to incidents of food poisoning - but more than that, while the idea of being sick, or having dihorrea absolutlely terrifies me, i think its the lack of control that is my real fear.
Approx 5 years ago I got a virus 'Labyrinthitis' which affects the inner ear, making me dizzy as a duck on a roundabout! most people who get this, get it for a week, and it returns every few years for another week or so, with symptoms akin to seasickness and extreme dizziness. Unfortunately for me, im one of the 'lucky' few who get it constantly... its got better gradually (im not lying on the floor hanging on anymore) but its always there in the background and severely limits what i am able to do. Basically the illness controls what i can do and when. This lack of control over my health has, i think, aggravated my problems with food and sickness.
I check dates on food religiously, and when i forget, panic ensues.
Today i was having a tin of soup (washed the pan first - dont trust that I washed it properly or well enough yesterday, worry that the water isnt hot enough to kill any bugs, or that the washing up brush isnt clean), washed the TIN (yep thats how weird I am) still wasnt satisfactory, so instead of using the ring pull, used a tin opener on the (washed) base of the can. halfway thru heating the soup, realised that the tin opener may have contacted the soup itself, and thus any germs on the tin opener were now in the soup. so there was no way i was eating that.
big argument with dad who doesnt understand why i have these problems and why I cant see how silly im being, when to me, never mind the odds of getting ill, the fear is so very real.
the fear of being ill has extended now so that I have to wash my hands well with antibacterial soap before ill eat anything, and crockery and cutlery also have to be washed before use.
does anyone have any ideas of how i can deal with this???
I had CBT over two years ago, and while i think at the time it helped, my problems now are worse than they ever were, and making lists of how anxious i feel at regular intervals after eating seems completely pointless to me, as i work on a 24 freak out anyway - if i dont have any symptoms of food poisoning within 24 hours then im ok -
Also im terrified of coming into contact with anyone who has been ill / been near anyone who has been ill with sickness and or diahorrea.
Im going to go back to the doctor got ask for more help, though they dont seem to realise that for a person with these fears, going to the drs, or the hospital for appointments is completely TERRIFYING!!!!
please help if you can !!!
Sorry ive gone on for so long
xxx[:I]