Major setback!

[Broken-doll]

Last night I made a major mistake! I decided to attend the evening wedding reception of my ex husbands brother (as I'm still close to his family.) the reception was held in exactly the same venue as my own wedding reception was held 12 years ago!
I was feeling incredibly anxious before I set off... The usual racing thoughts, nervous energy and tingling sensations...and I knew it was a bad idea and was desperate to cancel, however didn't want to let my son down as he was a paige boy.
On arrival I met people whom I hadn't see for 12 years and must have heard at least 10 times " ohhh last time I saw you... It was at your own wedding here".
At this point I struggling to muster a sentence, heart racing, skin burning, confusion, racing thoughts, pacing up and down, frequenting the toilet every five mins, sweating.
I managed to sit myself down next to my ex mother in law whom I still get on with quite well , and then she asked me " was this the same room your reception was held in?" That was it.... I started crying at the table, frantically scrambling around in my bag for diazepam, my throat started to close up, I couldn't swallow, I spent the next five mins frantically necking water to reassure myself I could still swallow ... Before phoning a taxi!
I now feel understandably embarrassed, I'm quite sure the guests at the wedding will all be thinking, I'm not over my ex-husband when actually the fact is I'm totally over him, it was the environment and the crippling anxiety which took control of me! Feeling defeated :(

[Annie0904]

I have to say well done to you for going in the first place as I know it won't have been easy for you. I was in a similar situation once only it was at my ex mother in laws funeral which was the same place as where I married my ex husband. I found it extremely hard so can really understand why you got upset. If the guests have anything about them they will realise that it was an awkward situation for you to be in. :hugs:

[theharvestmouse]

I can't believe how stupid some people are, that's a situation where you would hope people are sensitive enough not to mention about your own wedding being there. If they didn't know you had divorced then that's understandable but if they knew then to me that is just rude to bring it up.

[Col]

I can't believe how stupid some people are, that's a situation where you would hope people are sensitive enough not to mention about your own wedding being there. If they didn't know you had divorced then that's understandable but if they knew then to me that is just rude to bring it up.

Here , here, it's like some people are dying for a reaction, provoking a reaction.
For the ex mum in law whom your ok with, hmmmm.

Absolutly heart broken for u! Even if your over someone, it's the memories & association that can upset u. Im sure anyone with a brain could understand this.

Don't dwell of this, those guests are not worth it. Awkward situation especially seen as yourson was Paige boy. :bighug1:

[DeepBlue]

Wow, as I don't know your ex mum in law I will reserve judgment as some people just don't think before they open their mouth, especially as they get older!!! As for you attending the wedding, then I doff my hat to you, not that i have one but that was a very brave thing to do for your son. It would be hard enough to go for someone not suffering anxiety so for you to have done it, well done you for sharing your sons day and I am sure any reasonable person there would understand you getting upset at that location without knowing the actual reason for it.