Work or no work?

[ChrisT]

Hi there

I'm new on these pages. I found the website at my lowest ebb and must say that it has been a huge help.
I suffer from all the usual anxiety symptoms such as twitches, dizziness, ectopics and general lowness and have been on medication on and off for the last 3 years.
I'm certain that my anxiety is mainly due to work pressures (as well as constant worrying about my health) but i have never had a single day off work due to it.
Even when i have visited the doctors when i have felt my absolute worst, they have said that i'm fine to work (i have a mid-management office job). I have no problem with this because although my job is stressful, I love it.
What does confuse me is that other people i know seem to have a slight 'stressed' feeling, go to the doctors and get signed off for a few weeks due to stress/anxiety.
I wondered if anyone else has experienced anything similar or what your thoughts are on working through the anxiety?

Thanks to you all

ChrisT

[nomorepanic]

Chris

Welcome aboard.

My story can be found on the website here...

Nicola's Personal Story (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=mystory)

I have worked throughout my worst ever panic attacks and still do.

I took a month off work at one point as I was suffering major panic every day and couldn't function normally.

What I did was work from home so the pressure was less and it gave me chance to rest and sleep.

I then went back doing half days for 2 weeks and then back full-time again.

I have to say it was very hard and I spent a lot of time in the loos or in an air-conditioned conference room crying and panicking but I knew I had to carry on.

I knew that if I stopped work it would change my life for the worse as I would have to give up the house that I owned alone and worked so hard for and I did wonder if I would ever go back again.

So I plodded on and I am proud to say that I still work full-time 10 years on. Yes I have bad days but I may as well work through it and get paid there than sit at home and wallow in it.

Working gives me a purpose to get up, stability, self worth and above all a means to live - i.e. money!

Some people choose to get signed off work and make the most of it, some choose to get signed off and use the time to help themselves get better and some just give up and never go back.

We are all different I guess but my personal choice was to carry on as normal (if that is the right choice of words) and earn money to support my needs.

A guy at work that sits near me was having a bad time at work cos he said he was stressed and I am not denying he was but he was quite proud to tell us all that he went to the doctors and said he was stressed and they signed him off for 2 weeks!

He said he enjoyed the fully paid break! Now I disagree with that completely.

In my opinion - don't give up work. Once you stop you won't want to go back again and your life changes completely.

Anyway I have ranted enough lol.

Hope that helped.





People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

Nicola

[honeybee3939]

Hi Chris,

A BIG warm welcome to you, lovely to see you here.

I myself do work, there where times at the begining of the year when i did stop work because of my anxiety, but it only made me worse, i was getting to the stage where i would panic if i left the house and was becoming housebound again, i think its best if you try to work, especially if you enjoy it like you say you do.
Maybe if you tried to cut down your hours for a while it may help.

Love

Andrea
xxx

[bearcrazy]

hi chris,
I think it depends on the work and the support you get at work. I have recently returned to work after having 7 months off. There is no way i could have carried on, my body told me I needed a break. I couldnt think straight, had real concentration problems, couldnt hold a conversation at times and was soooo sooooooo tired. I found being at home and the effect this had on my family didn't help me, but i would have been ineffective at work. I am proud that I have returned to work now, and have received the treatment that I needed to do so. The treatment has helped me rethink my life and try to address the work/life balance. I am a stronger person now. If I'd carried on working I think it would have had devastating consequences. There are no rules, everyone is different!

[nomorepanic]

Can I add that I got No support from work atall.

Because of the nature of my job me being off caused them great hassles and i felt I had to go back to help out and support them.

I hated not being part of the team and knew they suffered too when I was off.

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

Nicola

[szg]

Hi!

I have suffered severe stress/anxiety and panic attacks for 2 years now.I was really proud of the fact I never took time off work.However I have now had a change of heart and am taking some time off.
By going to work I thought I was being strong and yes I admit feeling those who took time out were giving in.
What changed my mind? I finally realised that by going to work (long hours) I was pouring all my energy into this and wasn't allowing myself time to get better.I was getting progressively worse and need to admit that I am not superwoman and that this is an illness that you can benefit from taking time off (hope so anyway)
I am setting myself daily goals and am making myself go out.I need to lose weight,excercise again and get back to feeling like the strong capable woman I was.
Remember, ploughing aheah may work but when you keep getting worse major thinking and lifestyle changes may be necessary.

I wish you all the luck in the world in conquering this!

Shelley

[bearcrazy]

I totally agree Shelley, work became all consuming to me, it was draining me of every last ounce of positive thought and energy. I was working sooo hard but achieving less and less. I am much more focussed now, and have a very supportive team, although not all of my colleagues have been as tolerant. I am still having blips, and bad days, but I can see them as just that, blips and bad days, not catastrophes causing irrepairable damage. I'm not superwoman either, I'm allowed off days because I'm only human!

[ksmith]

I've never asked my GP to put me on the sick and he's never offered. I think this is because I go to see him with make up on, tidy outfit etc and speak clearly and confidently (even tho I feel like sh*te). As such, I do not think for one minute my GP has a true picture of how I am feeling. My pride gets in the way of exposing my real feelings and thoughts. I get run of the mill SSRI treatment and told to carry on.

I presume others who seem to be signed off at the merest hint of stress come over as more vulnerable at the surgery?

I have carried on working thru'out. Even had to wear sunglasses at one point which was a bit embarrassing due to light sensitivity. It's been hard but think I made the right decision. My colleagues would suffer if I was off and I know I'd feel guilty for that and even more stressed.

What I have done which has helped is to cut down on some of the jobs I did in addition to my contractual obligations (eg., hours spent working at home). I also find it helps to be quite forthright and not quite so willing to do everything you are asked. These days I'm probably a bosses nightmare but being more assertive in the workplace has made me feel less stressed.

I work in FE so we never work longer than say 6 or 7 weeks without a half term break or end of term break so if things are really bad I just count down to the next hol!!!

Kay

[szg]

Dear KS Smith,

You'll not find anyone more confident and outwardly "together" than me! However I realised that this is great unless it becomes a front that masks your true feelings.I was told that the outwardly confident types like us are more likely to end up in a mess as we can't accept we are not infallible!!
It took 2 years for my Doc to suggest time off for me and let me tell you,agreeing to it was harder than going in .Going in meant avoiding the problems I have,
When you go to the Doc you need to tell them truly how you are feeling or you can't begin to get the right help.I don't find it easy letting my Hfront slip but Fooling the doc is perhaps fooling yourself?
We're all different - some benefit from time off and some don't.I don't know yet as I'm at the start of my sick leave.I truly hope it helps.In an office of 4 I'm the last one off with stress so I held out pretty well!

Hope you continue to cope well

Shelley

[bearcrazy]

Hi Shelley,
You need to look after yourself before you can help anyone else. Having time off allowed me to re-evaluate the importance I put on things, which were sometimes trivial. Continuing to work means becoming more entrenched in the trivialities. Its you thats important! Hope everything goes well.

[normalwisdom]

I think my anxiety got worse when I wasn't working, I had time off when I had my son and it didn't help! I had too much time to think and I found my days went by very slowly. My job isn't stressful at all and I have a great boss who has helped me through my problems, I also have a very supportive partner so that helps.

I have had the odd day off with anx but always feel bad for doing it as it reminds me of when I didn't work and how bad it was for me then.

I think I am one of those ppl that needs to be doing something and feel that i am doing something useful. The money is nice too:D


Steph

[lass]

For me, I think going to work and trying to be normal is my way of coping with it. If I took time off, I'd have more time on my hands to worry myself sick!

I have 2 part time jobs - one office based and only 2 days a week - and no matter how bad I'm feeling, I always feel better once I'm there! The other job, I work for myself as a beauty therapist. I'd never cancel a client but I did decide to try and cut back a bit on what work I'd booked in, and give myself a bit of time off now and again.

I also have 2 young children, a husband, a house and various pets - at the end of the day, they are all work for me too (as much as I love them all!) - and I do have times where I just can't cope with the pressure of so much to do.

I think it's really unfair when people abuse "stress" as a way to get a free holiday Maybe when doctors sign you off, they should incorporate it with some kind of therapy to help us cope with our workloads.

I know there are lots of people on here who just can't work, and I think myself lucky that I am able to live a relatively "normal" life whilst dealing with my demons!

[piglits pal]

I've always worked. My doctor offered to sign me off once but I refused - I would have just sat at home on the sofa and vegetated. At work I was busy and occupied and I had people to talk to.

I suffer with health anxiety and believe it or not I work as a doctor's receptionist - all those illnesses coming past me day after day. I actually find it helps bring some perspective to me. And I love the job and wouldn't give it up for anything.

So for me, staying busy and working was the thing to do. I can understand if others need to get away from that though.

[LickeyEndBlues]

As one who was signed off for a significant period of time before being medically retired from work I have a slightly different take on this.

I found increasingly that I wasn't coping at work or with what I was being asked to do...much of which i had issues with. Looking back I had many odd days off with "colds, flu, viral infections etc etc" all of which was my body starting to shut down. I reached a point where the not sleeping was reaching a ridiculous level with me getting a couple of exhausted hours in if I was lucky. On my last day I was desperate to find a reason not to go in, I ended up driving there with all sorts of crazy thoughts going through my mind...deliberately crashing the car being one. I got to within half a mile of the place and pulled over, rang in with a very dubious illness......and never went back.

I was signed off pretty much straight away as I was on a suicide type watch by GP folowing some counselling I had had previously. I was refered immiediately to the psychiatric unit and from there put on meds and regular counselling. The general consensus from that was that I should pursue ill health retirement, which was granted several months later.

I really do feel that it is "horses for courses" and saying "I never had time off" does sound a bit macho. If staying at work help your circumstances then fine, if getting time off helped your circumstances then fine too.

Stress at work should not be taken lightly and it should be regarded as a Health and Safety issue, particularly if people are honest about why they are off. All too often staff and replacement staff are subjected to pressures that are beyond the status of the post/renumeration they hold and that is as wrong as having faulty equipment or poor work areas.

Laisez les bon temp roulez

[ksmith]

Shelley/Lickey

I hope I didn't come over as arrogant or conceited that I have managed to continue to work as that was not my intention. It is the right choice for me at the moment. I know stress is a health and safety consideration and also a contractual one (I teach employment law). However, I think most employers pay lip service to the notion of duty of care or the implied contractual term of mutual trust and confidence. Of course, one could threaten one's employer with legal action but I imagine this would only amplify one's stress. For those who resign and claim constructive dismissal because of stress, these cases are notoriously difficult to prove and often the compensation level is derisory (unless you can prove psychiatric damage which was caused beyond reasonable doubt by your employer).

One of the reasons I have been able to survive is because I have long holidays. Two months off in the summer allowed me to recover to some extent from the worse of my symptoms. Believe me, there is no burning martyr here but I have coped the best way I can for myself.

Kay

[mick]

HI Chris
im self employed so i normally work through anxiety and panic attacks its a nightmare i wont deny it but if idont work i dont earn any money no sick pay for me, but on the plus side the way i look at it is i would have had the panic and anxiety anyway,so what the hell i may as well work , i have times off thruogh anxiety in he past, but then i would panic about not having enough money to pay the bills you cant win!lol just follow your gut instincts if you you need time off when it comes on top then go for it, but dont let it take you over fully and use your time off wisely seek therapy whatever but try not to let it turn you into a recluse if your going through hell just keep on going m8! it will get better just keep looking your find a way out of it i can assure you
good luck
Mick

[GAD]

Welcome chris

I agree, i have been through some awful times at work and still do with anxiety and panic but i would still say try to stick with it. You will probably only be at home thinking about it and not doing yourself any good at all. Try to carry on working through it as it does provide a distraction. as long as you deal with getting to the root of the anxiety and dont just use the distraction as avoidance you will start to get better, im sure.

Michelle
x

[EebyJeeby]

I'm quite surprised by some of the responses here. There are the wise and the martyrs, the positive thinkers and the negative thinkers, the humble and the less-than-charitable.

For those who work through it come-what-may: Can you say hand on heart that you are now fully recovered?

For those who didn't: Did your life change completely? If so, could it be that a complete change was actually a very positive thing?

For those who are in the early stages of stress, wondering if a break would be beneficial: Could it be that by addressing the issue of stress before it becomes disabling, you are actually being very wise indeed and are saving yourself a whole world of pain?

Eeb x

[kate]

I fall into the category that I worked through it come what may. BUT, I only did this as I didn't get sick pay, we needed the money to pay the mortgage and also I was too embarassed to admit at work to what I was suffering with [:I]

And, no, I'm definately not cured :(

Kate x


"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

[missacorah]

This is a really tender subject for me at the moment as I am sick leave and really hate myself for it.

I was off 2 years ago with a viral illness that led to all this stuff (anxiety etc) but managed to go back and although I only realise it now, I never truly relaxed there. My big fear is fainting in public and I was ALWAYS worrying that today would be the day when this would happen to me. I realised I would be worrying all day every day about myself.

In July this year, school broke up and I was entitled to almost 2 months off as this is where i work and I wasnt able to go back in Sept. I was really cross as I had coped with a holiday in the summer and even a couple of days out at tourist attractions which believe me is unheard of for me. I managed to go back for 1 week and things were exactly the same only this time I felt like I was actually on the verge of passing out rather tha just the waves of pure panic I used to feel before.

It makes a big difference as to which symptoms you experience and their severity as to whether you can work. I wish I could work from home! I am now off again for at least another 3 weeks.

Well done to all of you that have managed to carry on working through this. Its admirable, and how are you all hiding it as it feels like Im the only one at times lol!

[LickeyEndBlues]

Interesting stuff coming out here.

I'd just lik eto add I have a very good friend who is also in teaching. He and I met at college in the 70's. I see hime several times a year and we have grown older together. We are very similar in how we have developed as people and with that our frailties have also parralelled.

Anyway the point being, I have never seen him as unhappy and stressed as I do now. He continues to do the daily grind in an environment that he hates. Several factors have tied him into this so just moving on is difficult, in particular his kids go to the same school. After each visit we comment on him, and his relationship with his family (partner and two boys)

I see almost irreversable damage being done in terms of the internal family relationships and ontop of that he has just discovered his mum has lung cancer (his died died a few years ago aged 63)

I feel he needs time off work but he will not do it.

Laissez les bon temp roulez

[GAD]

I think obviously there are stages where you may feel like you just cant plod along and just "get on with it", But there are also times when this is the best way - to give yourself a push. As we all know the answer to anxiety is not just to ignore it and hope it goes away but also to not just pander to it. It consumes so much of our lives and the longer we feed it the longer it continues (I think). We are all different I suppose and it depends on what stage of the anxiety we are at.

Michelle.

[ChrisT]

Hi all

Thanks for all your responses on this topic. Having read them through it made me realise how much we all put up with day after day in just getting by.
I now feel that there is no right or wrong way to cope, either we go to work or we have time off. Only each of us knows what works for us.
Thank god for this website. Its great to know i'm not alone

xx