Is there any point to thinking about why/how it got worse?

[Neurotic Nick]

Hey guys, as you may or may not know im going through a bad relapse. Now im slowly coming out of it, getting good at coping and have started meds but today it hit me that my agoraphobia and panic attacks are actually the worst its ever been.... I base that mostly on being nearly totally housebound and having symptoms pretty much all the time...

Now when i get down about that i inevitably start thinking about the weeks before i hit bottom. Was it the driving exposure that was pushed to far? Did i tire myself out to much painting? Did i get too frustrated too often? Why did i get dizzy so often again? On and on it goes with no clear answer.

The thing that gets me was that i was doing my best working on my anxiety and it just got worse. Perhaps i shouldve not focused on it so much?

Anyway there i go again.. Do you think there is any point to trying to figure out what lead to this state or is it best to just focus on the here and now?

[moonspirit]

Hi Nick

I would definatly focus on the here and now the past is the past we cant change it just learn from it. I think its a very normal reaction to go over and over in your mind why this has happened and all the what if i had done something different but all it does is just feed the anxiety think about the positive things you got out of painting and doing as much as you did, then slowly introduce some of them back into your life again.

I went through exactly the same not so very long again and looking back on it now it was just a way of the anxiety keeping me in the anxious state doubting myself over and over again. I learned the sooner i accepted it for what it was and that was just an emotion and it goes with me wherever i go it was easier for it not too rule me 24/7 then i found i had hours of anxious free time that eventually has turned into days yes i get the odd blip but i can allow it to run through rather than take over.

Hope you feel better soon.

[Rennie1989]

I think it's about knowing the moderation. You don't want to focus too much on the bad, because if you start creating comparisons like 'I felt dizzy because I was going to relapse' it makes recovery harder. But you do want to focus on changing your mind to healthier thinking, like 'The symptoms won't hurt me, they're just symptoms' and 'I can do this.'

Recovery does not often work first time, but don't let that give you an impression that it won't ever work, because it will.

[Neurotic Nick]

Thanks guys, that helps me clear my head a little. I guess the problem both of you picked up on is that i started to associate positive activities with my relapse when one doesnt actually cause the other.

Moonspirit yeah im already painting a little again and ill definitely try to get active again, but this time im taking it slow ;)

And rennie thanks for that, i guess ill have to climb up a few more times till it sticks!