Scared for when my grandad dies?

[Kez_miller]

Hi guys

Basically my grandad (my dad really) is coming to end of life with his cancer, it could be days, weeks months or even a year. But we know it's going to happen now that his treatment didn't work and he is getting worse daily.

Thing is I've never been through grieving. And because I already have anxiety and panic I'm absolutely petrified that when he goes I'm going to end up as a manic depressive, with schizophrenia or bi polar or something like those disabling mental health conditions. I realise these type of people can lead normal lives but anxiety and panic was out of character for me u till 2 years ago never mind anything else. I don't know if you can stop it. How to stop it happening. I just am terrified of becoming seriously mentally Ill. Does anyone have any advice or have been through this. Schizophrenia especially is my worst nightmare. I can't think of anything worse. All advice is great fully accepted.

[nomorepanic]

Sorry to hear about your granddad

Please be reassured that you can't develop Schizophrenia or bi-polar because of this though.

You will go through a grieving process but not develop any severe disorders like that.

[Edie]

Kez, I'm so sorry you're faced with the imminent liss of the man who was a dad to you.

Grief is terribly sad, but it is a natural, healthy process. For some people it can go wrong and turn into depression/anxiety, but for most it does not. It cannot cause bipolar or schizophrenia. I would recommend reading a little about bereavement, and the difference between healthy and unhealthy grief. This will help reassure you that your feelings are healthy, and help you identify when outside help is needed (if that happens).

People with depression/anxiety are at risk of developing complications from grief due to lacking in coping mechanisms. However, we do use many coping mechanisms just to get through every day, so you may actually find yourself very well-prepared for grief.

I suffered a close and painful bereavement just over 2 years ago, and though it has been painful, none of what I have felt has scared me. My depression and anxiety have not got worse - if anything it's really blown it out of the water. My self-esteem is higher and I feel I can cope with life and have a happy future. I've been very lucky to have a strong support network of family, even though I am rather socially isolated and have few friends myself. So it doesn't necessarily mean doom for you, although of course you will always think of your grandad.

My advice would be, see as much of your grandad as possible, and build a strong support network by letting your friends know how you're doing and accepting their support. If you're very isolated then just seek support where you can (including here). You're going to be sad, but you're also going to be OK.

[Rennie1989]

Make sure you stay close with your family. They will become a massive support for you when that time comes, and they'll need you too. Nobody really knows how they'll cope with bereavement until the unfortunate time comes but you certainly won't develop schizophrenia or bipolar.

[sophieunderscore]

Hi Kez,

Five years ago my grandad passed away from cancer. Before he passed I had the same panic as you - how would I cope, would I go insane from grief? He was my first loss where I had to go through the grief process as well, and you know what? I did it, without going mad! If you would like to PM me, please feel free to do so, it's a difficult time, but you can and will get through it x