View Full Version : Worn Out
Hi,
I am feeling so so down these days. I just can't get my head around my own problems. It all started with a panic attack, scared the living daylight out of me, but that's what it was...a panic attack. Now 2 years and 4 months has passed by I became so much worse than I was. I can not fight againts my " wierdness " any more, I cannot convince myself I am not going through pshycosis, I feel totally messed up.
I fell hopeless on a scale of 1-10 Im on 20 :( I just feel life is a struggle. I have lost joy from my life. I keep falling out with frined, feeling distant from them. I don't call on my family either. Husband finds me irritating and annoying, he says he had enough of me. I get freaked out by things that nobody else does. Even the mention of horror films or mentally disturbing films and my anxiety is over the roof. I have wierd dreams where I dream im having a pshycotic episode and that Im sinking into a black hole and there is no way out! What kind of life is this? And just now when Im feeling my lowest I am forced to change jobs from part-time to full-time. I need to start applying for career jobs in IT and just the thought of interviews make me sick in the stomach. Im in a lot of debt because of my career development loan and I need to start paying it off next month and I know employers they are always looking for someone who can sell themselves on interviews and who are mentally balanced, I find it hard to even pick up the phone let alone go through an interview, and its not like I am given a choice, I NEED to start paying back £8K from next months :( The sad thing is that I did not even finish the IT course I took out the loan for, because I could not concentrate on studying, so it pretty much just went to waste.
Im sorry for venting, I can't help it.
All I did today was crying which is quite unusual for me, and I had cancelled on 2 of my friends because of how I felt, they both got upset with me and felt that I let them down...So they will surely remind me of that as soon as I see them again:(
Im sorry I'd better stop now because I might bore somebody :(
Hi Pitita,
Big hugs for you today. Never be sorry for venting that's what keeps us going having somewhere like this to share our thoughts hun. Thinking of you.
Take Care
Mandyxx
Oh hun dont apologize for venting. I do it all the time on here! I feel the same way you do all the time. But when I post on here I feel so much better because these ladies are going through the same things we are. Its nice to know we are not the only one suffering from this. BIG HUGS:)
I am so glad to have someone to talk to who goes through the same thigns I do.
You're not boring anyone at all mate.
Sometimes life just seems to have too many overwhelming problems all come at once.
If I were you I would list them all down with possible actions and solutions next to them. You'd be surprised at what you come up with sometimes. With the career development loan is this like university loans where you only start paying it back once your income reaches a certain level???
If you feel you cannot take on a fulltime job and so cannot pay the loan back then I would advise going to the citizens advice bureau and seeing if they have any suggestions. Job wise I totally understand your feeling here as the interview part terrifies me too.
Try and come up with a realistic plan taking into account your present capabilities. I think people who suddenly give up jobs in the city and become pig farmers feel a little like you do, which is why they take the plunge and totally change their lives.
If life isn't making you happy the way it currently is then it's time for a good overhaul I think. What would be right for you hun????
Piglet :)
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
yorkylover
04-11-06, 15:53
Hi sorry to hear your so down,me to at the moment.Things will pick up soon.
Take care (((((((((((((((BIG HUG)))))))))))))));)
Ellen XX
Im sorry to hear your still not too good pitita. This anxiety thing is enough for us to deal with without the everyday pressures of normal life. But as i said before the madness worry will subside alot with time, patience and determination to get better. As you know my worst fear is the same as yours and although i do get freaked out sometimes with it, its no longer my every waking thought. i can get through weeks without even thinking about it now and when i get a setback i just seek reasurrance on here and then its gone again. You will get to that point and beyond. just try to get positive (easier said than done, I know) but you can get there.
Also you will find that when you get to grips a little more with this madness anxiety the vivid dreams will improve too.
Michelle
xx
You are not boring me either, Pitita.
Wish I had a solution for you, but I suspect your mind is exagerating the pain.
Big Hugs!
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
Im sorry to hear your still not too good pitita. This anxiety thing is enough for us to deal with without the everyday pressures of normal life. But as i said before the madness worry will subside alot with time, patience and determination to get better. As you know my worst fear is the same as yours and although i do get freaked out sometimes with it, its no longer my every waking thought. i can get through weeks without even thinking about it now and when i get a setback i just seek reasurrance on here and then its gone again. You will get to that point and beyond. just try to get positive (easier said than done, I know) but you can get there.
Also you will find that when you get to grips a little more with this madness anxiety the vivid dreams will improve too.
Michelle
xx
Thank you all so much for all the lovely posts I don't even think I deserve them. I was trying the whole day today to be positive about anything, anything at all and how pathetic does it sound that I could not find anything.
I miss my brother so so much words cannot explain, and feel extremely guilty for his suicide. Today I feel that I don't deserve anything that I have got, my husband who loves me so much or my mum and friends who are so concerned about me, I don't deserve any of that. I can't help but think that God is punishing me somehow for having been selfish and having left my brother behind to try and live my own life, and now he took him from me and took him in such a horrible way that I will never be able to forgive myself for leaving.
today my friends invited me to the cinema and AGAIN I cancelled on them, I didn't want them to feel uncomfortable because of me. All I wish is just one last hug from my brother and just to tell him that I do love him so much and that I AM SO SORRY for my own choices and I wish I was dead and not him!!! :(((
Thank you so much for your replies I am sorry I am feeling this way even all the replies make me feel selfish as I am not seeking attention...Sorry everyone
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
hi everyone good morning!!! :)
I just wanted to let everybody know that I am feeling sooo much better than yesterday and that I finally managed to get sufficient sleep last night without any dreams or nightmares so I woke up this morning feeling rested! Yipee!!! What a difference it makes its unbelievable! I woke up to a beautiful sunny morning, and Im swimming in the sun here by the balcony! I have already made plans to go for a walk with my friends along the thames and hopefully have a great day!!!
Also I think all the crying yesterday has helped to lift my sorrow a bit...i dont know how tomorrow is going to be for me, but today I am gonna go and have fun and embrace the good day! Thanks everyone ever so muvh for your lovely replies!!!!! xxx
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
Hi Pitita,
Awww so glad to hear that. xxx
Take Care
Mandyxx
Glad you feel a bit of relief hun, thats good and a positive step forward.
<center>((((P))))</center>
Piglet xx:)
Paddington
05-11-06, 12:12
I am sooo glad you feel better today,you have a wonderful time with your friends.You may need some grief councelling hun?Have you ever had any?I am sorry to hear of the loss of your brother,that is awful.Not your fault tho hun.Sieze the day,and make the most of it.Love mary rose.xxxxxxxx
we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore
W.I.F.T.S.
06-11-06, 09:53
I know exactly what you mean. I can't afford to not be working, but I could do with a break to properly assess my options and to recharge my batteries.
Thankfully, I've hopefully found something that I can do that I'll enjoy, that is well paid and which I shouldn't find too stressful- football coaching.
It's taken me a long, long time to get here though. I went to uni to study media and spent 4 years after that mostly doing unpaid 'work experience'. When I quit tv I lost all direction and went on a spiral into depression and anxiety. I've spent the last three and a half years stacking tins of beans for tesco.
I was really close to getting a dream job on the back of the voluntary work that I've done, but they must have thought "there's something strange about him having these skills and qualifications and doing such a lowly job".
I've felt like my life has really been in a mess. I'm just praying that I can get into football coaching and find it fulfilling. There's quite a clear development path there, which will help me. I just want to stick with something and to feel valued and that I have the opportunity to grow.
I lost all my 'friends' when I moved back home from london, but long term it's helped me because now I do so much more stuff socially and I'm meeting new people all the time.
I've recently split up with my fiancee and that has been a blessing in disguise because we get along much better now, whereas before we irritated each other so much that it made us incredibly anxious.
That old saying about clouds and silver lining really is true
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.
I just would need some help from all of you lovely people to help me in my healing process :)
Here is the thing: What would you say to your dead brother to express how sorry you are that things turned out so bad for him, but not for you? That you have a better life and were luckier than him? That you were loved more than him?
And now I would like to ask you all to reply back to these questions as the dead brother like a role plya so that I an get different perspective from each of you...it'd mean a lot to me!!!!!
thank you so much in advance :)
Love and peace ! xxx
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
Well if it helps at all hun I think your brother might answer with something along the lines of 'these things were not your fault'.
How on earth could you be responsible for each of the events you mention. We can't help how much someone is loved by someone else, or indeed how lucky they are or not in their lives. We can only be us and do our best - we can be responsible for how we act towards others certainly and if you try your best to make that come from a good place then I don't know what more you can do.
You're hurting lovie and I wish I was right clever and knew what to say. Is it worth thrashing this out with a professional because one thing I feel certain about, is that your brother would not want you carrying this perspective on his action around for the rest of your life.
You are not responsible!
Love Piglet xx
Petita,
You are obviously suffering from alot guilt. i dont know if you realise but guilt does go hand in hand with anxiety and and depression and this WILL amplify the feelings you have associated with your brother. you have to come to terms with the fact that its NOT your fault and try to build a healthy memmory of your brother to move on. I totally understand that this must be so difficult and guilt emotions are very strong. You have to go through the stages of guilt and anger and once you have done this I'm sure you will gain a clearer picture of all the is going on in your mind. you have nothing to be guilty for so please try not to persicute yourself.
we are always here for you hun
Michelle:D
x
Hi Nigel
I find your words very encouraging...I have the will to move forward but I don't think I have the way....its either my subconscious holding me back or my anxiety or my gilt...not quite sure...but nevertheless it helps me a lot to read and re-read all the kind replies here :)
I feel very much stuck in a place where I don't really want to be but can't seem to get out of...sigh
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
I love your posts Nigel - clever sod ;)
Love Piglet
(To any newer members - clever sod is a little nickname we have for Nigel, which I can't even remember quite how it started buts it's a nice thing not a rude thing)!
Hi Nigel!
I loved your post so much, it has helped me enormously. I did what you have asked me to do and I went with my time machine to the future where I was happy with my own little daughter... don't know where that came from I am terrified of having kids in the present moment, but thats what I saw in the future. I saw a happy little family with me having all my troubles behind me and being a wonderful mom. i felt very happy there and most of all emotionally very balanced and grounded. The one thing I could not see though was how I got to that state. I did look for signs, but nothing seemed to be obvious. Maybe I do some more searching...:)
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart your help and support! You are a wonderful person :)
Love Anita
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
Another thing that troubles me right now is that I am terrified of my own thoughts and more so my own beliefs. I have arrived to the conclusion in my mind that schizophrenia is inevitably going to strike me down and my subconscious is working againts me. I mean I just thought about it, that even my anxiety has come from my subconscious uninvited and so I cannot convinnce myself that the same thing is not going to happen with schizophrenia. I have been thinking about it a lot and the more I think about it the more possible it is to me that it is going to happen. previously when I had anxiety attacks I could just tell myself it is just anxiety but nowadays every funny little wierd symptom is the sign of psychosis for me. like today I was sitting on the bus and I just felt extremely disconnected and was convinced that there is no coming back from this state. I know most of you are going to say it was just DP/DR, but it certainly felt more than that to me. And all this has made me realize that slowly slowly my mind is accepting that it is going to happen so now Im even more scared. Oh how I wish I just had to deal with PAs....sigh
Any insight into why I might be feeling this way and how to remedy this? Nigel? Maybe you can see something that I cannot from a different perspective?
Love and Peace to all of you :)
Anita xx
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
Hi Nigel,
Wow you keep blowing me away with your helpful posts and suggestion. That qoute from that member who had a schizophrenic sibling expressing his/her feelings could have been me talking, because that is EXACTLY the same emotions that I am feeling. [^]
You are right, I do believe that all these mixed feelings about my brother is fueling my anxiety and that is what I need to let go of / deal with in order to be able to move on.
Unfortunately I know the website schizophrenia.com all too well, one silly day I went there and read every single personal account of sufferers explaining how they developed the illness and how it showed its ugly head first time in the form of psychosis. Hence my biggest fear is that every single wierd anxiety symptom is a sign of psychosis. Fear of losing touch from reality, fear of paranoia, of losing control and never be able to fuly recover, fear of hearing voices or hallucinations...etc.
I went to that website somehow hoping that I would find one person who has recovered, but no. Instead I found a little section for siblings...but that just scared me instead of helping because they all seemed to post horrible symptoms of the siblings instead of talking about their own feelings. Did not find a single post on siblings being afraid of developing the same illness at all.
Nigel I find your replies and posts so comforting like a warm blanket wrapped around you on a chilled winter evening :D
Thank you so much for taking your time to reply to me, it really does mean so much to me.
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
First a clever sod and now a warm blanket :D:D:D
Anita - just as an observer I can see your journey begining and Nigel's words have been a bit like a map helping you choose some routes.
:D:D
Love Piglet x
Thank you Piglet and Nigel :)
Piglet you are absolutely right, Nigel's word did help me to see something that wasn't in sight a few weeks ago, which is a better future, and more importantly " the map" of possible paths.
I have been generally doing better, in fact I am HAPPY compared to how I was feeling when I first started the thread. I am so grateful for everything I do have, for all my blessings. I used to be very angry but even the anger is dissolving little by little, not completely though. My biggest allie is time...time IS a healer. And of course the support that I get here is invaluable in my little journey. It strengthens my belief about people. I am a firm believer of love, peace and goodness and although I am not religious as such, but I believe in a higher power which is love.
Just yesterday I had a blip...which really scared me. Again on the bus all of a sudden I just felt this rage coming on like I would of loved to scream my lungs out or just punch a punchbag until it falls and I didn't know where the rage came from at all.
Then my racing doubtful thoughts tried to convince me I was manic depressed otherwise how would I have such a drastic mood swing...but luckily for me I realized that I can analyze this thought for days/weeks and it WILL freak me out big time and make me feel horrible, or I can just let go of it and don't even start worrying about it. Needless to say that in 3 hours time I hardly remembered the rage sensation and it doesn't even matter right now. It was scary though.
So that was a little mini-triumph yesterday for me.
I keep continue seeing my counsellor who is a very nice lady...she is almost my age...late twenties so I feel we can relate on many levels which is great, except at times I don't know what to talk about and feel Im just rambling on incoherently...lol
Once again Nigel, Piglet, everyone Thank you for your continuous support!!!!
Nigel, it made me wonder...do you have anxiety issues too or you are just here with the pure purpose of helping people?
Love and Peace
Anita xxxx
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
Oh, Anita hun I think you sound very positive mate - how lovely :)
You know I think the anger thing must be quite common, as I distinctly remember that emotion when I first felt the poo hit the fan. With me I think I felt so out of control of my own destiny and the things that were happening around me at the time and also in respect of other peoples behaviour.
I know I told a friend how overwhelmingly angry I felt and we decided that I should write the word fu*k all over a page a million times. For me this is a pretty strong word so it really helped. I used to do this regularly [:I][:I] and it did help actually. I knew when I started adding little flowers and embellishments to the words that I had got it out of my system :)
I now realise I only have control of my own behaviour and if I am doing my best that is all anyone can ask of me.
Have a hug for the journey :D:D:D
Piglet x
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Thanks Piglet I really appreciate it :) I lOVE hugs :) xxx
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
Hear hear to that (and lots of thunderous clapping and cheering and sharing of pringles)!!!!:D[^]:D[^]
Piglet :)
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Nigel,
Thank you for the lovely post and also for answering my question. I had a look at your website and I find it very informative, I think you are doing a great job. I am sorry to hear that you had been made redundant, but I bet you would be wonderful if you have further pursuid the " helping people" career.
I too have an incredibly low self-esteem, and on top of that I am very shy too [:I]. As a child I was very extravert, but then as a teenager I went into my shell and has not really come out since...lol. I also feel very inadequate. I just think Im dull and boring really.
I am going to tell you a secret :) I am also one of those kiddies that missed out on a lot when I was young, learning to swim properly was one of the things, also I can't skate. I can't tell any more because I would just embaress myself.
Im not feeling too good today [Sigh...]...schizophrenia fear again...am also very frustrated because I have an interview tomorrow for a career job in IT, you know the kind where you HAVE to BE/ACT confident, and with my anxiety so high I feel handicapped compared to the others. They sure will have their own anxieties, but perhaps not to the same degree as mine.
Im sorry to be rambling on. I hope I don't come across self-centered, because I DO love to just listen too. I loved reading about your personal account. Oh and I love Piglet's posts so much she always puts a smile on my face it doesn't matter what the subject is about :)
I keep up to date reading Karen's story, she is so incredibly brave in my opinion, and I would so love to help her, but I know very little about anorexia.
It's time for me to go for my counselling session. i'm sure she will be surprised at how sad Im feeling today because last time I was very happy and having a good day. Still don't know what I shall talk about with her, will just wait and see when I get there.
Love and Peace
Anita xxxxx
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
Hi Anita,
Hope the counselling goes well today mate - I'm sure they won't be surprised that you might be up one minute then down the next, cos that just mirrors everyday life.
You know sometimes I have started a conversation in a smashing mood then somewhere the talk went in a direction that brings up allsorts of stuff and I come out with things that I wonder where the hell they come from. So really our moods can change mid sentance, let alone from day to day. Happily sometimes they go in the up direction too.:D:D
Right the skating [:I]:D:D:D I took the kids a couple of summers ago (pre agoraphobia) and fully expected to be fantastic at it. Needless to say I stepped on the ice and this is where my body and legs parted company. After discreetly pulling all my body parts back together and back into my jeans I spent the next hour dramatically holding the edge all the way round, sometimes disappearing completely from view and doing some lovely twisted rolls.
The kids had the fabbest time and whizzed around most gracefully, leavin me to it. A man at the refreshment bar just had his eyes on me the whole time, so on about the 9th time round I said to him 'you fancy me don't ya' (infact I shouted this cos of the music) and he looked at me with astonishment and said "Well I'm not sure fancy is the word, it's just that I have never in all my born days seen some one skate quite like you do". I inclined my head and acknowledged this praise, assuring him that if he practised hard he too could be as good as me, moving off only cos his toddler asked if I wanted him to hold my hand to help me round. As if I need a 3 year old to help me round the ice [:I][}:)][}:)][}:)]
I think for the next nomorepanic meet up (happens from time to time) we should go skating - we'd have to work so hard to keep upright that any anxieties would be out the window.
Hey and don't get me going on me and my best mate body boarding, her still with her fag hanging out of her mouth and me rolling/falling on to the shore with all the grace of a baby elephant still with my sunglasses on, my upper half completely out of my costume being helped up by a man in his 70's doing it like a pro!!!
This is why my piglets stand back when we're out - they can't believe I can be so embarassing and then worry about what people will think if I have a mere panic attack, eldest one said "but how would people tell the difference"!!!!!
Any space at the counsellors for me!!!!:D
Piglet xx
Hi Piglet,
Thank you so much for cheering me up, I can't stop laughing!!!! You have an amazing sense of humour! Well thanks to you I am no longer said, but am hurting from all the laughing :) I was mostly laughing because I could have written your skating account myself as that was exactly what happened to me as well (going around in circles and holding onto the edge for dear life hoping that noone is gonna hit me...lol) but nobody FANCIED ME ;) Oh that line is just hilarious 'you fancy me don't ya' , I wish I could be like that one day, but Im waaaay too shy for that...lol
Now I think Im gonna be just fine tomorrow on the interview, Im just afraid I might be still smiling when I get there picturing the skating scene....lol, but maybe thats whats gonna win me the job if I keep smiling non-stop...hehe
Hi Nigel,
The counselling was very productive although I did cry through half of it, because I was so touched. We started first talking about general stuff and I mentioned immidiately how I was feeling really low and we kind of explored why that might be and we came to the conclusion that its because I feel guilty for a lot of things. The reason I was so touched and cried because my counsellor suddenly said to me " Anita, you are not a bad person, you are a good person and I really mean it." To me this was such a shock because just before that I was telling her about things I felt incredibly guilty and even so she STILL thought I was a good person. I don't know if anyone can understand what I am on about, but to me this was amazing :)
The interview...now having read your and Piglet's post I think Im well equipped to win them over tomorrow, I just hope I can keep smiling until then then there should be no problems. See when Im in a good mood Im a real chatterbox, so Im sure I will try to sell my skills to my best ability.
" So to be turned down, though disappointing, shouldn’t be seen as a failure. " Luckily I have managed to tell that much to myself to know that even if I don't get the job that does not reflect on me personally, but they just had a better applicant.
Thank you so much for both og your support, it gives me strength for tomorrow.
Good Night :)
Anita xxxx
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">" So to be turned down, though disappointing, shouldn’t be seen as a failure. " Luckily I have managed to tell that much to myself to know that even if I don't get the job that does not reflect on me personally, but they just had a better applicant.
Anita xxxx
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
Never a truer word was said!!!!!!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D
Love Piglet xx
Hello Piglet and Nigel,
The interview was extremely official (haven't really had one like this before...lol almost felt like I was interrogated because they bombarded me with questions..), but they praised me a lot and said I was an ideal canditate :))) As a matter of fact the first sentence they said " Your CV and Cover Letter is very impressive " which of course gave me that little bit of confidence that I was lacking...( Nigel you'll know what I mean :)
They said they will let me know on wednesday if I was successful, so fingers crossed! I really liked the building, the guys who interviewed me were very professional but not intimidating and they were nice to me...oh Piglet I made them smile a few times by laughing at myself...lol I did get one question wrong and I just made a joke about it which they laughed at, so made me feel more at ease. The receptionist lady was sooo nice to me, she reminded me of my mother. She said " Oh you poor thing you seem so nervous don't worry everything is gonna be fine, good luck! " When I came out she was saying " See you next week :) "...lovely lady!
Am off to bed, once again thanks for your amazing support for both of you!
Good night xxxx
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
Piglet gives Anita a fat squeeze and is secretly a bit jealous!
Quite frankly whether you get the job or not you did fantastically well hun!!!:D:D
Piglet :)
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
You know Nigel you astonish me at times - how someone as warm and kind and wise as you can have trouble making friends is amazing.
Mind you people say that about me and my panic attacks - I obviously don't present like the sort of person people would think would have panics. What such a person would look like I really don't know!
I didn't like school at all up until the 5th form (Y11 now) because I was a sensitive skinny little thing who could never understand how the other kids could be so horrible to each other (and me) with no provacation. I've never knowingly been horrible to someone just for the hell of it yet growing up this seemed to happen all around me and to me.
I don't know what happened during the summer holidays before I went back to school - a fun family holiday in the South of France and lots of men noticing me and my sister (to the complete rage and fury of my father) and the realisation that I didn't look like a skinny goofy little lad anymore.
Whether it was the change in my physical appearence or what, I don't know but I went back to school with a new best friend CONFIDENCE and me and CONFIDENCE were best mates 90% of the time for the next 20 odd years only parting company from time to time.
Unfortunately CONFIDENCE and I aren't on quite such good terms these days but I am trying to rectify the matter. Even sharing pringles ;)
So if you happen to see CONFIDENCE around on your travels put in a good word for me hun!![Yeah!]:)
Love Piglet x
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
I've been meaning to reply back to both of you, but have been very busy helping hubbie with his work, tomorrow will be a better day to write a longer reply as I don't have any plans for the day :) xxx
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
Aww that's ok hun - the threads not going anywhere, we still have way too much to discuss for that - you take your time!!! :D:D:D
Piglet :)
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Oohhh, Im so excited I can hardly type:) Just got the phonecall from the guys who interviewed me on thursday to let me know that....I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!! Unbelieveable still that I was chosen out of 13 people! I told him I wasn't expecting to hear from them until wednesday, but he said he knew over the weekend they would choose me so he wanted to let me know quickly so I would stop looking elsewhere. :) I still find it hard to believe that I was actually so good at the interview as I had such horrible DP/DR and was sooooo nervous! I am starting next monday part-time, which means I get to keep my current job which I love:) Such a great Monday I am having:)
I owe you so much for all the encouragement and support:)!!!!!
Thank you sooo much!!!!!!! xxxxxxxx
"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook
Piglet gets off the computer chair and does a sort of 'go round, go round' type movement and decides to have squirty cream on her hot chocolate she's sooooo pleased!!!
Well done, well done, well done, well done, well done, well done!!!!
Oh and by the way did I tell you 'well done' :D:D:D
Piglet :)
More than happy to share mate :D:D:D:D
Piglet :)
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
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