View Full Version : For text book panickers
I Threaded on here about my parents issue last week and I do not know what the hell to do. Read if u wish.
Anyway as if panic attacks and the memories they leave aren't bad enough & having general anxiety. I CAN NOT COPE!!!!!
I'm 38 weeks pregnant & had bit toothache woke up got kids ready? Later on went to collect my son from school and before hand needed petrol. I was soooo nervous because I'm due any day & felt ill, cold , tired & I panicked and thought those typical panic symptoms are hurrendous as it is - HOW on earth am I gonna get through the labour. I know I've said this a few times on NMP BUT plz those of you who have typical panic/anxiety - what would u suggest??? I've spoken to midwife usual , you'll be fine - WELL I DON'T THINK I WILL?
To top it all off in relation to MY PARENTS (previous thread) causing major stress in my life for years & now going ga ga over my baby.
My dad has imposed a visit to my house this Friday - he didn't ask!!!! He said my little bro asked & he said yes we will go if Collette doesn't have baby next week.
This was at weekend and just now had 3 consecutive calls obviously relating to the visit. ITS all about play time for my half brother, I'm 32 just to add. Don't get me wrong don't see him much but he came in summer hols, spilt a full tumbler of coke on my cream carpet my dad just said " Collette will sort it out don't worry" he locked himself in my bathroom - my dad took lock off , didn't repair it!!! Then house ransacked room to room - never once uttered a single word about helping to tidy! HOW RUDE! Not a single offer of help! THIS WOUD NEVER happen in my dads house.
Then my mum expects to come Saturday - and again, relating to my recent thread I CAN NOT FACE HIM ON FRIDAY HER ON SATURDAY! Because I've not seen her for a while she will bring heaps of stuff ( she's like lady Gadiver) and she will sit alllllll day , when she comes she's here on average for 7 hours. She's sat here once after I came back from hospital after a severe panic episode & was instructed To go to bed with a hot water bottle. She again insisted she was coming & sat alllll day & when shes ill she inly feels comfortable when left alone. AGAIN all about her & what she wants to do! Anyone else ill - whatever. Also, I had flu once and was sat downstairs all day. She never thought to just go & shes not the type to help in the house. She offers whilst youve already got your hands in the sink. Shed rather sit and talk the hind legs of a docky! Slagging all her sisters off etc.
If she comes on school days she will sit and wait for my daughter to come out of school & then sit for a couple more hours after that.
Made me laugh the other week when she was unwell & complained about my auntie sitting downstairs with my mums parter for 3 hours whilst him & his son had tea. GOD 3 hours nothing compared to piss take she does hen he visits me.
What do I do, HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP:lac:
Aww Col you are really going through a lot of stress at the moment. You are going to have to be really firm with your family. When you are in labour you will cope because you don't have any other choice. You will be concentrating on the birth so much anyway. When I first went into labour with my youngest I said I couldn't do it and the midwife just said "A bit late now for that so you will just have to!!" and I did :).
I wish you lived closer to me so that I could come and help you (I am north East) but the best I can do is give you more virtual hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Ahhhhh thanks Annie , I know I keep thinking surely panic or no panic, surely I'll get through the labour surely. I've got a bit of a swollen tooth so panicking about going dentist and taking antibiotics if I need em whilst pregnant?
As for my parents they are hurrendous NOT heard from dad since weekend and his imposing outburst. And then today a voice mail after I'd been on phone with my older brother & them 3 consecutive calls. My dad knows I've got pelvic girdle pain, be in best in day time and then when kids home I catch up with washing house work, tea because I love making it nice when kids come home.
I just don't get it. If he continues to arrang me tomorrow , I'll just say midwife says I need strict rest & relaxation I've had tooth ache and just want to go to bed. End of. He doesn't want to accept that OR concocts an alternative way of coming I'm gonna loose my temper, because I never suggested he comes this Friday. Me and hubby never asked for any help I was brought up with u pay for your own way in life had a job from 16 and studied. I've had mortgages on 2 houses before this without asking for help from bank of mum or dad BUT this house we needed a big deposit & my dad offered offered and offered again WE never asked him and he's loaded compared to most I know, and we loaned 10 grand off him and he holds it against me comming here etc. I now he's told his friends this is one f his properties as well and my mum was here at Christmas and bumped into my older brother
( he has nothing to do with her) and basically dad found out. And he said to my brother " I hope she knows she was sat in my F****** house"! This was 2 years ago when we newly were here and I fell out with dad for about 6 months for this.
It's a loan , he offered , I've never in my life asked for anything else because I know what he's like he likes having " holds " over people because he's not got much family and frankly doesn't hang onto friends because he's vile. Ther when they cling on because he's to money etc.
Plus it was just bad luck I didn't qualify as a science teacher , because of my breakdown etc,so I could have paid him back no problem. Damn right discusting , my hubby has 2 jobs and ones full time and the other he's ut at 6 am on Saturday. We don't get benefit bit tax credit.
My dad is discusting just like my mum. My brother often says I can't believe we're actually really nice people considering our parenting???
Rennie1989
06-11-13, 18:54
It's your home so if you don't want them there then make it known to them. You're full to bursting as it is, you don't not need the stress of your parents creating anymore unnecessary stress onto you. So tell them out right, no more visits.
Not being a parent myself I cannot comment much on the labor side. What are you worried about, regarding the delivery, and how has your experience thus far been different from your previous pregnancy?
Hi Rennie , I know I need to be strong I think it's been a long time comming me being so direct and just saying no , if u don't like it lump it. It's just not in my nature only when I'm in an argument I say all sorts BUT my parents are like actors they're sooooo good at coming accross on the surface nice , it makes it very hard for me to be objectionable.
As for labour I've not had a good pregnancy, bleeding , severe sickness and any bug I seem to catch. Also last labour very very tough and last time I wasn't a GAD sufferer so I just don't know how others have coped I just don't k ow how crazy I'm going to behave. Im soooooooo excited about my baby it's the labour and my panicking, it's just taking all the shine off it ???
Thanks sooo much for your support it's just good to know how others would react and deal to all this XXXXX
It's easier said than done but I would advise you to be firm with your parents and do what is right for you at this time. Consider your emotional and physical health, if you were healthy you would feel up to running around after your half brother, listening to your mums chatter and entertaining them all, but you are heavily pregnant, suffering with GAD and keeping yourself healthy is your priority.
You need to be assertive and selfish - something you're probably not very good at. Tell them that the midwife says you must have R & R, that you have a stomach bug and don't want to pass it on to them or make up any old lie. It's not wrong, it's the right thing for you, to keep you healthy. You could just tell them that you don't find their visits enjoyable but I think that would stir up more problems than it would solve at the moment.
It's good to hear you're excited about the baby, I remember when you first announced your pregnancy on here. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with the labour, all those hormones rushing round, the physical sensations and goings on around you will distract you from thinking about how you're feeling mentally and panic will be a long way off in your mind. Focus on the end result, a beautiful baby.
Good luck
Sam
Thanks Sam, I've wanted one more baby I just know a3rd & final child always felt right.
It's always been the panic that's concerned me at a delicate time, but why should any of us stop wanting, babies, a good career or travel, because we've got an affliction. It just makes everything that bit harder when things do happen.
My parents are an on going headache for me. I have reached breaking point & this baby has put it all into perspective how they behave badly. Dad makes digs about my career never taking off, Im 32 not that past it! I've worked my bum of 2 degrees in science, 2-3 kids married & owned (mortgaged) 3 houses , ohhh I drive as well. How dare he be little me.
My brother doesn't speak to my mum , at all, so it's very much I bare the burden at Christmas, weddings etc. But as u might have read from my other thread, she's treat me even worse than she treat my brother, he agrees!
So I'm just coming to an end with it all, my daughter is 11 & been going on for longer than that. I just needed to rant & get a consensus of what NMP members suggestions are.
I know I need to stop this , offend or please.
Xxxxxxxxxx
Col my love, you know being at the same stage as you and so anxious I can totally relate. You dont need any extra aggro just now as we need to get through each day at the moment. Just call and say Im on bed rest and not a good time, ill be in touch soon. Forget Xmas at yours you will be busy enough. How are the maternity peeple where you are? Are you being induced or going with flow? xx
Hi BAB, great to hear from you hope your alright.
I'm having a right time just threaded again about flashes of light and doc telling me it's normal last week NOW just doctor googled and I'm mega panicking! Got opticians tomoz I can't cope.
So this thread and my last one on the parent thing guess what? Wednesday yesterday so approaching weekend & my dad called me 3 times I ignored them, then again today just before I collected my little boy from school. I answerd this time! He never asked about coming again and I never suggested and didn't bring it up. I had a swollen gum yesterday ahhhhhhh god I could cry.
So there was NO way he's gonna come here tomorrow and he could tell by the way I was speaking I wasn't lying about the tooth ache. Sod him anyway. But yes day before I get him calling and also today my mums called me 3 times. I've only just deliberately missed another call of hers. She's NOT coming I've got issues as it is health wise at the moment she is not. Coming here and sitting all day on saturday . She will happily sit and sit for 7 hours as u might have read. My hubby is at work also , so she'll get away with it even more.
I know them too well both parents typical weekends looming and phone is gong nuts.
Shell get face on and pretend she was worried I was in labour - FOOL. Hubby would have at least texted.
What worrying me is my daughter is on her way back from school at this precise moment and my mum will probably call on her phone - how can I avoid that???? FOR F*** sake.
Sorry to moan babs just absolultly sick of being sick, sick of those two idiots I've got for parents.
Xxx keep me posted about your bubs xxxx I'm due 19th
More hugs for you Col :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I just wish there was something more I could do or say to help you at the moment. Keep posting how you are feeling though as it does help to get it all out even if it is just on paper. xx
Annie I wish u lived closer to Sheffield or I closer to u. We're not miles & miles away really but still a bit of a distance:weep:
I just don't know why things just don't seem to get any better for me & health etc. u know I'm actually quite calm because I've had that much I've sort of switched off, gone numb???
I don't thnk my brain can take anymore.
Loads of hugs to u to :bighug1:
My son lives in Grenoside which is not far from you. Next time I am visiting him maybe we can meet up and you will be able to introduce me to your new little baby :) x
Ahhhhhh wow , I have family in chapeltown, ecclesfield area. Not far from Grenoside & I know that area very well as a lot of school friends lived in & around that area. I don't know if your sons a fan of reverend and the makers but the lead singer John maclure is from there, I was good fiends with him at school & I live next door but 2 from the bands guitarist.
Wow
My God that's amazing we should definatley meet up. Xxxxxxxx
I will let you know next time I am there :) x
I know I'm a bit late to the thread but wanted to see Col how stuff is with your family now? and how was the labour? and the little baba?xx
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.