livethelife
07-11-13, 19:40
Hi again
if any of you have been following my anxiety about bone cancer over the last week then you will know i have been in quite a state worrying about myeloma (bone cancer).
I had blood work done last Friday - it was basic blood work - cbc, creatinine, crp etc. - it all came back normal - no red flags. but still i am worried.
today i ended up in a total state of anxiety- way too much googling of symptoms and still convinced i have myeloma.
so i took myself to the walk in clinic because I was a mess - my own doctor couldn't see me - the doctor i saw there was very kind and reassuring but she said that she felt that likely the only way for me to have peace of mind is to have an xray done of my spine and ribs. she didn't say that i had to get it done, it is up to me.
now i am even more of a mess. because of course if the xray shows nothing than that will be awesome - the problem of course is if something shows up - which it will if i have what i think i have.
i am so scared. i don't ever remember being this scared to have any test done. i keep thinking that tomorrow at this time my life could be totally different - for the very much worse.
the x-ray opens here at 7 a.m. - think i will try to be there for when it opens but i am so scared.
if you are someone who prays, please pray for me. i want to be brave enough to go thru with this xray but i am scared. on the other hand i know that i really have no choice but to get it done.
if any of you have been following my anxiety about bone cancer over the last week then you will know i have been in quite a state worrying about myeloma (bone cancer).
I had blood work done last Friday - it was basic blood work - cbc, creatinine, crp etc. - it all came back normal - no red flags. but still i am worried.
today i ended up in a total state of anxiety- way too much googling of symptoms and still convinced i have myeloma.
so i took myself to the walk in clinic because I was a mess - my own doctor couldn't see me - the doctor i saw there was very kind and reassuring but she said that she felt that likely the only way for me to have peace of mind is to have an xray done of my spine and ribs. she didn't say that i had to get it done, it is up to me.
now i am even more of a mess. because of course if the xray shows nothing than that will be awesome - the problem of course is if something shows up - which it will if i have what i think i have.
i am so scared. i don't ever remember being this scared to have any test done. i keep thinking that tomorrow at this time my life could be totally different - for the very much worse.
the x-ray opens here at 7 a.m. - think i will try to be there for when it opens but i am so scared.
if you are someone who prays, please pray for me. i want to be brave enough to go thru with this xray but i am scared. on the other hand i know that i really have no choice but to get it done.