Eyji1
07-11-13, 21:35
Hay everyone. I haven't been posting here or even lurking on here a lately.
I've been working on myself and going through changes with medicines and all that. I want to start by thanking all the people on this site for the kindness and support you all provide to me and each other. To you. Whoever you might be. I say thank you. For you have helped me. Even if it's just by letting me see that I am not alone in this.
Now on to the subject matter of this post.
I have recently taken the approach to thinking about the problem of anxiety, stress and panic attacks in the matter that anxiety and panic is the fear of feelings. We feel sensations that we perceive as bad and it makes us fearful.
Now I'm just a young guy. (24 years old) But I have come to a conclusion as it is that suffering is a part of existence. You can not get pleasure without pain. It's a sort of ying and yang thing.
Accepting this fact has helped me tremendously. I have gone through all my life almost just floating along passively. Never facing my demons, self medicating and ignoring my inner feelings. Sooner or later the dam was bound to break. I accept that I am scared. My uncle and both my grandfathers died of cancer. People all around are getting serious illnesses such as Parkinson's and MS, Heart disease, Blood clots, Infections all of that. Nothing is certain. And I am staring to accept this fact.
My fears center mostly on health issues. This in it's core is a fear of death. Simple as that. I do not know how to process these emotions. At first I started getting random panic attacks. Then anxiety. In the end I have started to believe that I have heart problems, thyroid problems. I desperately am searching for a cause for all of these bodily sensations, pains, aches, chills, warmth, prickling sensations, numbness, dizziness, faintness, looking pale, feeling constantly tired. And many many more... I suffer because I unwittingly choose to. I run away from my fears and they are constantly on my heels.
What I've come to realize is that one can not run away from his or her own shadow. It is futile and will only result in fatigue and sorrow.
I am afraid. I fear illness and accidents. I fear what people might think of me.
I accept that I will one day die. It bothers me. I do not know what it will be like. I am afraid of change and death is the ultimate transformation of consciousness. Now I will not go into religious or philosophical speculations on what happens upon the final rest. I will only say that it is inevitable. For each and every human that has, is, and will ever live. Every true human will and has to die. Otherwise he can not be counted as human.
I accept that I will die. I accept that there are countless things that are beyond my control. For the last weeks I have felt great! But today I got a panic attack out of the blue. It scared me. It scared me quite a bit. But I accepted it. I embraced it. This is the hand that I was dealt. And I must play to win.
Now I realize that what I'm saying might be quite obvious to many of you. But to me this was a revelation. Through acceptance I have begun to find peace.
The things that once crippled me with fear have begun to loose it's grip on me as accepting the circumstances has made the fears less real and in all actuality has made my fears quite trivial in the larger perspective of things.
This is life. I may have expected it to be perfect like the movies. I thought pain was only for sick people. And death would just leave me alone if I ignored it long enough.
Fear of the inevitable and fear of things that are out of your control are as pointless as a ball. This is a process. But I'm coming to terms with life for what it is. Joy, happiness, fulfillment, laughter, crying, sadness, pain, suffering, and in the end. The final dot to the post. The thing that gives all other things we do meaning. Death. For only finite things are of value in this world.
All the best to all of you. I wish you all the very best of luck in all that you do.
I've been working on myself and going through changes with medicines and all that. I want to start by thanking all the people on this site for the kindness and support you all provide to me and each other. To you. Whoever you might be. I say thank you. For you have helped me. Even if it's just by letting me see that I am not alone in this.
Now on to the subject matter of this post.
I have recently taken the approach to thinking about the problem of anxiety, stress and panic attacks in the matter that anxiety and panic is the fear of feelings. We feel sensations that we perceive as bad and it makes us fearful.
Now I'm just a young guy. (24 years old) But I have come to a conclusion as it is that suffering is a part of existence. You can not get pleasure without pain. It's a sort of ying and yang thing.
Accepting this fact has helped me tremendously. I have gone through all my life almost just floating along passively. Never facing my demons, self medicating and ignoring my inner feelings. Sooner or later the dam was bound to break. I accept that I am scared. My uncle and both my grandfathers died of cancer. People all around are getting serious illnesses such as Parkinson's and MS, Heart disease, Blood clots, Infections all of that. Nothing is certain. And I am staring to accept this fact.
My fears center mostly on health issues. This in it's core is a fear of death. Simple as that. I do not know how to process these emotions. At first I started getting random panic attacks. Then anxiety. In the end I have started to believe that I have heart problems, thyroid problems. I desperately am searching for a cause for all of these bodily sensations, pains, aches, chills, warmth, prickling sensations, numbness, dizziness, faintness, looking pale, feeling constantly tired. And many many more... I suffer because I unwittingly choose to. I run away from my fears and they are constantly on my heels.
What I've come to realize is that one can not run away from his or her own shadow. It is futile and will only result in fatigue and sorrow.
I am afraid. I fear illness and accidents. I fear what people might think of me.
I accept that I will one day die. It bothers me. I do not know what it will be like. I am afraid of change and death is the ultimate transformation of consciousness. Now I will not go into religious or philosophical speculations on what happens upon the final rest. I will only say that it is inevitable. For each and every human that has, is, and will ever live. Every true human will and has to die. Otherwise he can not be counted as human.
I accept that I will die. I accept that there are countless things that are beyond my control. For the last weeks I have felt great! But today I got a panic attack out of the blue. It scared me. It scared me quite a bit. But I accepted it. I embraced it. This is the hand that I was dealt. And I must play to win.
Now I realize that what I'm saying might be quite obvious to many of you. But to me this was a revelation. Through acceptance I have begun to find peace.
The things that once crippled me with fear have begun to loose it's grip on me as accepting the circumstances has made the fears less real and in all actuality has made my fears quite trivial in the larger perspective of things.
This is life. I may have expected it to be perfect like the movies. I thought pain was only for sick people. And death would just leave me alone if I ignored it long enough.
Fear of the inevitable and fear of things that are out of your control are as pointless as a ball. This is a process. But I'm coming to terms with life for what it is. Joy, happiness, fulfillment, laughter, crying, sadness, pain, suffering, and in the end. The final dot to the post. The thing that gives all other things we do meaning. Death. For only finite things are of value in this world.
All the best to all of you. I wish you all the very best of luck in all that you do.