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View Full Version : The fear of fear (feelings)



Eyji1
07-11-13, 21:35
Hay everyone. I haven't been posting here or even lurking on here a lately.

I've been working on myself and going through changes with medicines and all that. I want to start by thanking all the people on this site for the kindness and support you all provide to me and each other. To you. Whoever you might be. I say thank you. For you have helped me. Even if it's just by letting me see that I am not alone in this.

Now on to the subject matter of this post.

I have recently taken the approach to thinking about the problem of anxiety, stress and panic attacks in the matter that anxiety and panic is the fear of feelings. We feel sensations that we perceive as bad and it makes us fearful.
Now I'm just a young guy. (24 years old) But I have come to a conclusion as it is that suffering is a part of existence. You can not get pleasure without pain. It's a sort of ying and yang thing.

Accepting this fact has helped me tremendously. I have gone through all my life almost just floating along passively. Never facing my demons, self medicating and ignoring my inner feelings. Sooner or later the dam was bound to break. I accept that I am scared. My uncle and both my grandfathers died of cancer. People all around are getting serious illnesses such as Parkinson's and MS, Heart disease, Blood clots, Infections all of that. Nothing is certain. And I am staring to accept this fact.

My fears center mostly on health issues. This in it's core is a fear of death. Simple as that. I do not know how to process these emotions. At first I started getting random panic attacks. Then anxiety. In the end I have started to believe that I have heart problems, thyroid problems. I desperately am searching for a cause for all of these bodily sensations, pains, aches, chills, warmth, prickling sensations, numbness, dizziness, faintness, looking pale, feeling constantly tired. And many many more... I suffer because I unwittingly choose to. I run away from my fears and they are constantly on my heels.

What I've come to realize is that one can not run away from his or her own shadow. It is futile and will only result in fatigue and sorrow.

I am afraid. I fear illness and accidents. I fear what people might think of me.

I accept that I will one day die. It bothers me. I do not know what it will be like. I am afraid of change and death is the ultimate transformation of consciousness. Now I will not go into religious or philosophical speculations on what happens upon the final rest. I will only say that it is inevitable. For each and every human that has, is, and will ever live. Every true human will and has to die. Otherwise he can not be counted as human.

I accept that I will die. I accept that there are countless things that are beyond my control. For the last weeks I have felt great! But today I got a panic attack out of the blue. It scared me. It scared me quite a bit. But I accepted it. I embraced it. This is the hand that I was dealt. And I must play to win.

Now I realize that what I'm saying might be quite obvious to many of you. But to me this was a revelation. Through acceptance I have begun to find peace.
The things that once crippled me with fear have begun to loose it's grip on me as accepting the circumstances has made the fears less real and in all actuality has made my fears quite trivial in the larger perspective of things.

This is life. I may have expected it to be perfect like the movies. I thought pain was only for sick people. And death would just leave me alone if I ignored it long enough.

Fear of the inevitable and fear of things that are out of your control are as pointless as a ball. This is a process. But I'm coming to terms with life for what it is. Joy, happiness, fulfillment, laughter, crying, sadness, pain, suffering, and in the end. The final dot to the post. The thing that gives all other things we do meaning. Death. For only finite things are of value in this world.

All the best to all of you. I wish you all the very best of luck in all that you do.

Wombat Overlord
07-11-13, 22:09
Hang in there mate; what you're going through sounds like some pretty classic (but serious) anxiety. I would consider myself more or less in the same boat. I used to drink heavily every night (I'm only 21), do lots of drugs and deprive myself of basic human needs like sleep and often times food, and one day while driving my entire body locked up similar to a stroke and ever since then I've felt the constant, nagging anxiety that you described. Every little symptom you described can be explained by anxiety, no matter how real or serious they feel at the time. Anxiety is not all in one's head, but rather it is a real bodily reaction to certain stress factors that we face every day.

Are you currently taking any meds for your anxiety? Also, what kinds of things do you incorporate into your life to help cull the stress? Anyways, thank you for sharing your issues, as it's always nice to talk to others who are going through the same thing. I hope you don't accept your anxiety as a part of life and can make active decisions to prevent it from taking over!

-Alecks

Eyji1
07-11-13, 22:14
I'm on two medications, lithium and quetiapine. Both are mood stabilizers and one is anti psychotic. Both medications I take in the very smallest doses given. The lithium I take is way below what is considered therapeutic and this is working out quite good for me as things are.

I have accepted anxiety. But I have not accepted that it is a part of me. It is only a fleeting sensation that will pass with time. I must work on my issues instead of turning away from them.

I do breathing exercises, meditation, I have changed my diet, my sleeping patterns. I've changed my view of life and people in general. I've said goodbye to many people who were having a detrimental impact on my life and well being and have started to strengthen the bonds with the people that I truly care about.

I have placed myself in the center of my world for the moment at least for the first time in my life and I have started to work on developing a stronger willpower within myself. In addition I try to practice mindfulness.

MARK1971
07-11-13, 22:19
Hi ya yes anxiety is a horrible little demon that one must embrace to quash!!! Currently on holiday at the moment and down the classic holiday thing of over drinking for first 3 nights little sleep and sunburn! Surprise surprise massive waves of panic descended upon me which I am managing to get under control with grim determination..).

Needless to say I can't wait to fly home but will see out the rest of the holiday minus the alcohol and enjoy the sunshine with a few sprites!!!!

Anxiety and panic can trick even the long time suffers like myself!!!!

So hang on in there and accept on occasions a very very bumpy ride!!!!

Eyji1
08-11-13, 13:24
Yeah. It's pretty bad. But I think many people, including me tend to blow it out of proportion. But I guess that's just the way it is and how it will be.

Being in the midst of anxiety really sucks.

phil6
10-11-13, 10:05
Hi all,
This thread caught my eye as it addresses the root cause of most anxiety. Anxiety is a natural reaction to danger or a stressful event that we perceive as dangerous or potentially embarrassing. Once the event is past we calm. However, those of us trapped in an anxiety disorder have developed the fear of how we think and feel when we are anxious. In other words we feed our anxiety by adding fear.... The fear of feeling anxiety. And why wouldn't we? It's a horrible feeling.
This loop can also be very demanding in our own minds as our constant internal thinking and urges to sort it all out is just adding more fear.
I am feeling anxious now... It is the way I am at the moment. The answer lies in resisting the urge to discover how to feel better. To resist looking for what we are doing wrong. To resist working this out. I have suffered on and off with anxiety for many many years and I have never come up with any solutions that worked. I only ever recovered when I gave up trying to get better... The paradox.
And this is where I am today... I seem to be unwilling to sit with this lump of fear sitting in my stomach. I seem to be believing that this will stay forever and that I always feel like this even though I know this is a lie. I always seem to have to go through a period like this especially in the morning when I feel I cannot accept feeling this way... It is now that I want another route to recovery, but
I cannot find one, but cannot stop searching.
So I come to the forum as a distraction. It seems to help reduce the feelings as my mind becomes occupied in the only subject it is interested in.
And yet part of me knows that this is the time, and only now that I can practice letting go... Now.... Not later when I might feel better... And that helps !
Accepting is not complicated, but it's not easy. I think the only thing that can help is some key thoughts to hang on to when we are caught up and fused with our anxiety.... Some I have tried are....
This will pass
This feeling does not mean anything
I do have better days
I don't need to solve this

But if you have some better ones.... Please let me know.

Phil

Eyji1
10-11-13, 12:01
Good points Phil