djsandra
09-11-13, 06:54
Today my grade went on a field trip to this facility where they process food and turn it into soup to feed the hungry worldwide. I did not want to go, I told my parents that I knew I would be coming back with anxiety. I have been taking fluoxetine 20 mg for almost three weeks now, but I had to wake up early to get to the bus so I forgot to take it. Almost immediately upon arrival I was scanning the facility for dead bats, as it was not perhaps the cushiest place I'd been to and some of it was outdoors. Once I had determined there was no risk, I felt comfortable enough to do the work. I later had to go to the bathroom, and this is where problems arose. Right behind the toilet there was some insulation around a pipe on a ledge, and for some reason I got the absurd idea that there may be dead bat carcasses under the insulation, so I tried to look around it. However, I realized that I couldn't stop thinking about it as I hadn't been completely sure that there was nothing, so I went back to the bathroom and pulled the insulation away and out from the pipes. Then I noticed a small black crumb that was a bit oblong. Now this is where the true stupidity comes in. For some reason I got the idea that this could be mouse poo, so I decided to pick it up and check it out. It felt hard, like rock, so I thought maybe I should try to split it in half, but I didn't do this and threw it out and washed my hands. Now I don't know if I will get hantavirus. I wish I hadn't gone. Initially I told my mom that there was no school for our grade, so that I would get to stay home from the trip, but my conscience told me to tell the truth, so I ended up having to go. For some reason, when I see something that is causing me anxiety, I don't try to avoid it, but actually try to get a closer look at it, and may even pick it up. This is extremely counterproductive. Am I in danger? Help