Crying for last 2 hours

[Izzytheanxietyqueen]

Hi I'm izzy and I'm 14 nearly 15. My dad suddenly died in May this year and I saw him collapse in front of me. I thought I would share this with you to see if anyone is similar or understands this. That day, 11th may 2013 was a normal average day in our family and my friend was round do I spent time with her and we went out to the park and to the pet store to get things for her hamsters and my dogs. We came back and I saw my mum cooking dinner for me and said to check on my dad as he wasn't feeling well, I checked on him watching tv and he said he had horrible pain in his chest which was uncommon but he said was indigestion so anyway after dinner like 9 ish my dad suddenly told us he was having a heart attack and went upstairs to call ambulance then collapsed in front of me. Him and my mum went to the hospital while I stayed with my grandad at home and then at like 1 in the morning my mum came back and told me he had passed away. I was shocked for like 2 months then ever since I have horrid health anxiety and I feel like I am next to die. I feel awful today I feel like I am a going to die like him somehow and that I will never get a full life. It hurts so much to think it but I do. I feel awful I get mad at my dad for leaving us and I get so depressed I don't want to get up in the morning I feel really anxious today I'm sobbing and I have the worst feeling of impending doom and it's like I know that tonight I won't wake up. I will die today and I am thinking about writing a note saying stuff to my family because I feel that bad and I feel so so sure I will die today.

[Daisy Sue]

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you're in this state :( I lost my Dad a few years ago, quite similar circumstances to yours actually, and it hurt like hell.. still does - and I'm a lot, lot older than you.

I always think that pain is the price we pay for loving someone, and that pain never goes away, but in time it gets easier to accept.

Please try and find someone to talk to - I know I've said this to you before, and it's not empty advice, it helps so much to unload everything you're feeling, particularly to someone who has experience of this kind of grief.

You're not going to die tonight, or anytime soon, you're just reeling from losing your special Dad.

((hugs)) x

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Izzy,

I know a lot of people have been responding to you concerning the loss of your Dad. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I feel rather helpless as I'm behind a computer screen on the other side of the pond.

Many have advised you to go to your Mom and ask for help. She can help you find someone to talk to. Maybe a guidance counselor at school or a teacher can help. You really do need someone to help you deal with your loss and anxiety.

I hope you take everyone's advice and seek help. It's really what you need to do.

[Gina9]

Hi Izzy, I'm so sorry about your Dad, I went through the same after my Dad died really suddenly and I think it was the root of my health anxiety.

I think you've recognised it very quickly as you are here, it took me about 2 years to realise it was health anxiety that arose from sudden loss of my Dad.

I agree with the other replies, make sure you talk to family, friends, counsellor about how you're feeling.

Best wishes :hugs: