Can anyone help me rationalise before I sink again?

[flatterycat]

Hello

I've not posted on here since about June because I was doing well. My anxiety went right down and I was pretty much ok with most things.

However, the last week or so I can feel myself slipping again and I need to try and get a grip. If anyone can help me rationalise my thinking I would so appreciate it.

I have quite a few things going on, so forgive me for the long post.

Going back to last year I was having lots of aches and pains in my buttocks and hips. I saw doc a few times, but they weren't concerned. Then in January of this year the left side of my back started hurting suddenly. Doc said I have probably twisted it! During this time I started to worry that it was my kidneys and had a dipstick urine test done which showed invisible blood. As I know this can be a sign of kidney cancer I became obsessed. However, I had had this 7 years previously and it was checked out with ultra sound, cystoscopy and xray. All clear and my consultant said it was just that some people had blood in wee with no cause and that it was just me! Although this was 7 years ago my docs didn't feel it warranted being checked again. So, there I am every time I have a dipstick done it shows trace bold and I am getting worse. The pains got bad in my side and back and eventually went into my right buttock. I thought i had a dvt, then convinced secondary bone cancer from the kidney. Anyway, after a few months I began to feel calmer again and the fears ebbed away.

Since then I have struggled with pains in my outer thighs and for the last 5 months have had awful pain in my left hip, outer thigh and buttock. I am back to thinking its secondary bone cancer again! This pain is mainly in left hip and is worse when I bend to the side. The pain is also in my right thigh, but not as bad. I don't take anything for it and again have seen several docs at my surgery, all of whom aren't worried.

In July I went for some fertility tests as I am desperate for another baby, but at 44 know this is unlikely. During the tests I had the following bloods done - liver function, kidney function, fbc and thyroid ones. All normal! I also have a internal ultrasound done of my ovaries and womb so she could check out my egg supply! Again, she said all normal for my age. At that time I had also been worrying about ovarian cancer. I'm hoping that if there was anything amiss with my ovaries she would have noticed?

So, here I am today. Frightened I have secondary bone cancer - I mean how can pain last so long. It's been 5 months with the left side now and probably a couple of years with the general aches I was having before. I also noticed today that I have a slight tingling in my left buttock.

Can anyone offer any wise words?

Thank you
Sarah x

[Andria24]

Sarah - you have anxiety disorder/health anxiety. It would seem, from what you've said, that that is what's wrong with you.

If I were you I'd speak to my doctor about the anxiety, and discuss how symptoms can be so realistic (if they're deemed to be of no significance) and how I can deal with the issue at hand - the anxiety.

I hope you feel somewhat better ... :hugs:

[Fishmanpa]

I was having lots of aches and pains in my buttocks and hips = docs weren't concerned.

left side of my back started hurting suddenly = Doc said I have probably twisted it!

started to worry that it was my kidneys and had a dipstick urine test done which showed invisible blood. As I know this can be a sign of kidney cancer I became obsessed. However, I had had this 7 years previously and it was checked out with ultra sound, cystoscopy and xray = All clear...docs didn't feel it warranted being checked again.

struggled with pains - awful pain in my left hip, outer thigh and buttock = several docs at my surgery, all of whom aren't worried.

I had the following bloods done - liver function, kidney function, fbc and thyroid ones = All normal!

internal ultrasound done of my ovaries and womb = all normal

I mean how can pain last so long?

Can anyone offer any wise words?


Hi Sarah,

Sorry you're feeling anxious. I highlighted some key things in your post that answer your questions. Those are the things that you need to hang onto when you feel yourself slipping.

Ok... some truths. There's nothing wrong with you except for anxiety disorder. You're feeling aches and pains that most people over 40 feel. Add to that the physical effects of anxiety create and you're bound to feel aches and pains. At 44 I was in the peak of condition. I ate great and worked out several times a week. There wasn't a day that went by that something didn't ache or a bone didn't creak or crack. It's called aging my dear ;)

Now ate 54? Sheesh! Of course having a couple of heart attacks, heart surgery and recently cancer and the side effects from treatment, I have more aches and pains than the combined occupants of a retirement home! But I have resolved to the fact that it is what it is. We're going to have aches and pains and it doesn't mean anything sinister. Also, take into account what I highlighted above and ask yourself if all those tests and doctors are wrong. That's the rational mindset that you need to take. Those are the things that you need to play back in your mind when doubt begins to creep in.

Good luck with everything and have a great time trying for another baby. Seems like a win/win for all involved ;)

[debs71]

I do agree with Andria24, Sarah.

It is incredible just what physical effects anxiety can have, especially long-running anxiety.

Aches and pains are all a part of this. I had awful mid-back pain and pain up my left arm and chest for weeks a couple of months ago. I also felt exhausted and weak. I really thought I had a heart problem. It all coincided with my anxiety and panic returning with a vengeance, but once I started to be treated for my anxiety, the pains miraculously went away.

Anxiety can have a horrendously frightening effect on us physically.

I think the problem is that when we notice pains, it is almost like a self-fulfilling cycle. The pains go on and on or get worse, because we recognise them too much and fixate. I know they are real, but they are also stimulated by our own minds too.

I would be willing to lay money that due to the pain you feel in the places you describe, you are now (often without realising) holding yourself in a different way/tensely so the pain increases. A lot of what you describe sounds very muscular.

I would agree that the way to tackle the physical is through dealing with the mental first. x:hugs:

[flatterycat]

Thank you so much for all your replies, it's so kind of you to respond. I have got myself into a right pickle. Today I googled secondary bone cancer symptoms and read about something called hypercalcium (sp). Which is too much calcium in the blood and can be a sign of secondary bone cancer. Now, I saw this as more evidence because a sign of that is frequent urination and recently I have been needing the loo constantly for a wee. That coupled with my pains has scared me!

[Fishmanpa]

Keep in mind that Google is a computer search engine, an algorithm that bases it's search on what you input. I'm sure if I search using the right key words I can be diagnosed pregnant ;)

[Andria24]

Keep in mind that Google is a computer search engine, an algorithm that bases it's search on what you input. I'm sure if I search using the right key words I can be diagnosed pregnant ;)

Ok Fishman ... take the challenge! Google 'weight gain', 'nausea' and 'frequent urination' :roflmao:

[Fishmanpa]

Ok Fishman ... take the challenge! Google 'weight gain', 'nausea' and 'frequent urination' :roflmao:

OMG! I'm Pregnant! ;)

[Andria24]

OMG

Congratulations Fishman :hugs:

[And]

Amazing it's as if flatterycat is me! Exactly my thoughts this week- I hate health anxiety- just when I think I've beaten it...it comes right back at me. I can barely rationalise myself at the moment - just trying to keep it in perspective.

[hangingbasket]

Flattery cat, high calcium shows up on a bone profile blood test.
I know this because I had a high calcium result yesterday and have been in a panic about it ever since. Read through my post from earlier.