Terrified of cancer again

[oscrazymum]

My HA has been ok for a while now but recently two colleagues at work were diagnosed with breast cancer. They are young, in their 40s. So, even though I do do breast exams some times, that spurred me into prodding and poking around and guess what.,.i find a lump. Actually I found a few. Some feel painful but the one that I'm worried about isn't painful. It's on top of my rib area and doesn't feel like a rock, but is firm. I went to the GP who scared me by saying 'it's not very dramatic, it's very moveable (which it doesn't feel particularly moveable to me) but worth getting checked out...so I'm in a huge panic. I cry all the time and look at my young children and all I can think about is them losing me. I love them so much. I'm still breastfeeding my daughter (10 months) and imagine that I'll have to stop now that I've got this. I cannot imagine it won't be worst case scenario even though I know that 8/10 lumps turn out to be something else...I just can only imagine that I'll be an unlucky one. I will go to the breast clinic next week to get it checked out and know I'll be even more of a mess by the time I get there. I'm just terrified and all I can think about are the implications of being diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm 37 and keep finding stories on the Internet about women in their 30s getting breast cancer. I'm really skinny so feel lots of lumps but have never been scared about one before. Anyway, I know there's nothing I can do other than wait to get it assessed, I'm just going crazy with fear :( I've also convinced myself it must have spread already as I feel like I can't breathe properly since going to the GP last week!!

[Andria24]

You sound very anxious and stressed to me - which is probably what's wrong. You have young children, one a baby, plus breast feeding and working by the sound of it.

Try and calm down. You've still got hormones beetling around your system, your body is working hard to keep two of you happily functioning and lumpy breasts (in fact a few pain in the ass issues) can arise during periods of breast feeding.

I'm sure you'll be fine :hugs:

[oscrazymum]

Thanks. I am really anxious and stressed. I am going to the breast clinic tomorrow and am terrified. My partner is great and keeps trying to calm me down but I feel like I can't let myself believe it could be anything other than breast cancer. I have had much worse health anxiety since having kids and I well up every time I look at them and imagine not being there for them. I try to tell myself that I'm breastfeeding so perhaps it's something to do with that but then don't really believe it :( I feel like I can't breathe, like I need to cough but coughing doesn't help and then think that that's just a sign that it's spread already. Even though I only had this sensation since I found the breast lump. Anyone else been through something similar? Feel like I'm losing it.

[Andria24]

You're not losing it. You're a tired, anxious mum with an over active imagination, honest. Consider discussing your anxiety disorder, as it's paramount that you're correctly treated for the condition.