View Full Version : need some advice
I am really struggling at mo, getting horrid chest pains sharp, stabbing in the centre of chest, and keep getting shooting pains in my ribs/lungs. My anx is sky high had bloodwork done thurs di dimar as my doc thought symptoms sounded like a clot it came bk negative but im still worried:weep:also feel like cant breath. Two docs have said different things one said pleursly and the other said inflammation of ribs. Keep having bad thoughts im scared anyone feel like this?
Anx - what advice do you want? That you should go back to the doctors or?
This is your very first post, just over five years ago:
hello. im bev i have been experiening chest pains, pins and needles, have a suffocatting feeling. My doc says this is due to anxiety. Has anyone else experienced these symptoms.
I think your problem is that A) you haven't gotten over your anxiety problem and B) that you remain largely fixated on the chest area. I'm not sure what I or anyone else can offer you by way of help and support. You haven't managed to conquer your original fears so, in my opinion, the only thing I can offer is that I think you should take yourself back to the doctors and make a concerted effort to tackle your anxiety.
I hope you so find a solution, as I know you must be so tired and exhausted :hugs:
Bev, are you receiving help for your anxiety? Sorry if this is a dumb question, but I don't exactly know your history re.help for your health anxiety.
I was curious when Andria mentioned your first post and had a wee look, and I am to be honest, staggered and sympathise at the sheer extent of your health anxiety. If you have a moment, I would strongly advise you to just take a look through your posts from 5 years back onwards.
You have had several fears on the whole related to your health, as well as (from what I could see) mostly chest fears as Andria said, and you have had numerous blood tests, CT scans and at least TWO MRI scans which were clear several years ago.
MRI scans are very hard to come by, even when unwell to be honest.
I am not mentioning your posts to be mean, and I hope it doesn't seem that way, but I just am trying to demonstrate - and hope it would do to you - that you have had the same fears for MANY years now, and yet here you are, still alive and kicking.
This has to give you some indication of what is happening here, and some hope.
I would strongly will you to please find some peace and help for yourself and your health anxiety. I just don't see that your doctor is helping you tackle this at all!!!
I was really quite shocked by how long and how much this has been invading your life hun.x
Fly away Katie
10-11-13, 22:03
Ive had inflammation of the ribs darling, and it felt exactly like youve just described. Its called Chostocondritis. (Not 100% on the spelling). Mine lasted about 6 weeks. Its horrible pain isnt it!
Youll be absoltley fine. Dont keep taking big deep breaths, as that worsens the pain.
Also with the breathing, thats anxiety. I felt like that too. The more yoy try to catch a nice fullfilling breath, the harder it is to get one! Its very normal.
Take ibuprofen for the chest pain.. it helps with the inflammation.
Mail me if you need to talk.
Keep postive. It WILL go away.
Katie xxxxx
Every time you post a new thread someone will ask what you are doing about your anxiety and you never reply. I'm curious as to why that is, as it's clearly your real problem.
You don't seem to be taking any proactive steps to overcome it and frankly I'm at a loss to understand why. It's almost as if you don't want to let it go.
From your previous threads you've talked about not getting over your mum's death and I wonder if that's something to do with it? That being anxious is getting in the way of you dealing with that, in fact maybe you use the anxiety to stop you dealing with it because once you do you know you'll finally have to "let her go."
I really think you have some deep seated issues here that need addressing otherwise you will never get any better. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear but after five years you are not a single step further forwards are you?
Well first of all, I am pretty certain that your past issues have been due to anxiety or reflux or one of the many many harmless issues there are. On this occasion, you may have some genuine pain or issues caused by the chest infection that you are being treated for (they take a long time to clear up sometimes) which your anxiety is making worse.
In your defense, in our last conversation you mentioned that you were on some form of medication. You said your doctor was talking about upping it - has that happened?
Now Bev sweetheart, I'm going to say some things that you may not like and they may sound harsh but please believe me when I say they are coming from a caring place.
As others have said, you are now 5 years in to this. I don't know how old your children are but that is a huge chunk of their lives.
My mother had issues similar to yours and while I love her and hold no grudges, I'm not going to lie - it affected me hugely and my own anxiety issues took root because of her example. No matter how well you think you think you are hiding this from your children, no matter how much they say it's fine - believe me, this is affecting them. Losing your Mother devastated you. Imagine how your children feel watching their Mummy go to hospital so often or being crippled with terror. Even if they don't see it directly, I assure you that they sense it.
It is time now to get help. If there are obstacles you have to smash them down. You need to DEMAND help to get better because your children deserve their mother back. You deserve your life back.
Again, I'm sorry if this is harsh. From previous conversations, I know you love your children dearly. That's why, as someone who saw their mother go through this and never get better, I am begging you to get help for their sake if you can't do it for yourself.
My advice to you is the same as before - get some grief counselling to help you come to terms with the loss of your Mother (as I fully agree with Brunettes assessment on that) and bare all to your doctor - the fear, the panic, your posts here, the crippling terror you live with. Then let them help you.
Thank u for your comments. I thought this forum was for genuine people who wanted help with panic/anxiety, health issues. I have met some lovely people on here made friends with them etc. Its a bit sad when people view my threads from what 5 years ago its like havent u got anything else to do katesa? First of all you dont know me to judge life has been hell from 17 on and off. And to mention my kids i would die for my family so plz dont mention them. I cant help the way i feel sometimes i think u have to have walked the walk so to speak to even imagine the life ive experiened so maybe i should leave this forum once and for all and u can comment else where
Excuse me but I didn't read your post history anxmum. Yes I do have better things to do than try to help you (have you ever bothered reading a posting of mine?)but I was trying anyway.
My mum made my childhood difficult because of her constant fear for her health and belief that she was dying. I'm sorry if you don't like that.
I genuinely wished to help you and would have supported you through it just like many on here have been doing. But it looks like you don't want help.
And I won't be drawn in to a who has had the hardest life contest. We all have problems on this board.
Good luck to you.
yes i do read other peoples post like i said ive made/met some fantastic people on here. Your right my kids probly are affected but i cant help the way i am or the way i feel, i love my children so much they are the only good thing in my life without them im nothing. Im just angry cos my past has been bought up from 5 years ago that was then this is now dosent mean its related
Anx it wasn't Kate that identified your NMP history, it was me. I looked to try to see if there was something I or anyone else had missed that May have helped to support you. What I saw (instead) was a persistent cycle of exhaustive fear and confusion (from you) from your first post.
Now - if you're going to get upset and start throwing out excuses or supporting reasons for your current state then let's call a spade a spade:
... To date I have been abused from birth. I can't begin to tell you the fun I had growing up. What I can begin to tell you about are the beatings. The fear. The confusion from before I could walk. The day I saw my neighbours six year old mown down by a speeding Mercedes right in front if me. That was a bloody mess, I can tell you.
I remember the day I was thrown out on to the streets at 16. How about my first boyfriend, who spent the best part of six years beating nine bells out of me. Don't get me started about the odd rape he threw in for good measure. By 22 I was seriously messed up - mentally, physically, emotionally.
Unlike you I don't have a mother to mourn. I wish I did. Mine is my nemesis. Fancy that. Your own mother.
One of my sons died when I was 22. The man I later married well ... that's another long and sorry tale. I have raised three children single handedly. And always whilst under duress (mine). Thankfully I was a good enough mother to make their childhood far better than mine ever was.
My point is this: we all have our crosses to bear. We all have sad and sorry tales to tell. What might affect one person one way will affect another person completely differently and so on.
In short the past is only alive in our memories.
Dragging it up/out/along at every opportunity is pointless. What isn't pointless is learning, educating ourselves, getting a grip. I have more excuses than most to be a basket case. I refuse to even slightly class myself as one. I refuse to lie down and let life walk over me - I always have.
So please - don't throw your dummy out of the pram at people on NMP that are trying or have tried to help you. Man up. Be the adult. Take control and start being the change instead of hiding behind it.
When all you see is the same old same old you get tired. No one can help anyone unless they want to help themselves. Frankly? I don't see that with you. If you find my response harsh so be it. I have walked the walk. And that's why I am qualified to kick your ass whether you like it or not.
Stop asking for reassurance and start making changes. I, as much as anyone else here, would love to see you get well but ... until you stop wallowing it's not going to happen. Face facts, get help, get well.
Edited: your first post was perfectly relevant. It related to your HA about your heart/chest. To date you remain worried/frightened about your heart/chest area. Many of your posts relate to the same.
Bev, nobody means any ill to you, and do sympathise, but the key is what kind of help are you seeking? It just does seem that you don't really want to accept or take on board that to other sufferers (and let's not forget that we are ALL sufferers here, including katesa) it comes across that you have been dealing with the same ongoing worries for a hellish amount of time, and cannot accept this is HA.
When people, as I too did, mention a time scale to you, it is simply to demonstrate how long you have had these worries, how anything has changed or not, but also not to be nasty, but to hopefully allow you to see that you are still well physically, albeit it probably with the same health glitches we all get now and again.
It is not meant to be mean-spirited, and I too have better things to do with my time than read your history, but as a forum, that is what trying to help and get involved with others is supposed to be, isn't it?
I also think it a bit unfair to deem others as judging you. If you lay your worries on a plate on an anxiety/MH forum, you have to expect others opinions. Everyone is just trying to help you with an exasperating, awful anxiety, that's all.
We all have our burdens here, and it is GIVE as well as take. Sometimes that seems very imbalanced on this forum, I have to say.
I hope you are able to stick around, but maybe if the help people are offering is not what you want to hear, a forum isn't the place.
I wish you well.x
Didnt ask for your life story. Im not making excuses and i think i am abit more qualified to kick your ass.
Didnt ask for your life story. Im not making excuses and i think i am abit more qualified to kick your ass.
And that's me out. I help and support but I don't do childish.
i dont do spiteful comments so goodbye
Right, for God's sake bev, everyone is trying to help you. Andria and debs are two of the most helpful and empathetic people you could ever meet.
Everyone here wants you to get better. And you're throwing it away.
Ps Andria hon I am so so sorry and you should be so proud of yourself. I'll pm you tomorrow if that's ok x
Anxmum, I think the point people were trying to make is that you ask for lots of help and support in here which is all very well but you are not going to get better just by posting on here you need other help like counselling, cbt meds ect. You seem to dodge the question every time it arises? You are not going to get better solely on what you get out of this forum. We cannot heal you! I think people just seem to be getting tired of saying the same things to help you when you don't seem to help yourself. Whilst we all wish you get the best out of this site. We are not healers.
I wish you all the best and hope you find a way to beat this soon.
:hugs:
Bev hun
To be fair you did ask for advice, if you just wanted to let of steam maybe if you titled your post people would know that you didnt want them to tell you what they thought.
People are trying to help you but its hard if people think that you are not really listening.
You have been offered loads of advice and no-one here wishes you ill.
Barnabas75
11-11-13, 22:49
Everyone on here is battling something.Battle against that instead of against each other.:flowers:
Holy Cow! Welcome to another episode of "As the Foot Stomps" ;)
Truly, I'm sorry you're going through what you are but I agree with the posters concerning your situation Bev. The post history is relevant when taking into account how to advise someone. When you see repeated posts on the same subject and no effort by the individual to treat the issue, you have to question the intent.
The last time this came up, you packed up your toys and went home. Certainly that's your choice but no one here had bad intents with their posts. Everyone here would be your biggest cheerleaders on the road to recovery but you have to start the car and get on the road!
Good luck and best wishes on whatever road you choose to take.
Anx mum,
I have never seen such ill feeling directed towards a group of people who just want to help, especially Andria who, from her post, is probably the best qualified to give you advice.
You put a negative spin on most comments and seemingly ignore the rest. You are rude, you are ungrateful and your HA and anything else that may be going on in your life absolutely does not excuse you from behaving like that.
You say you can't help the way you are. You can and you're the only one that can. The trouble is you don't want to because that might actually mean taking a bit of responsibility for yourself. I'm willing to bet your problem is that you've never really learned to stand on your own two feet, that mum was always there to run to with every little problem and you never learned to cope on your own. The fact the you behave like a child when anyone pulls you up on your behaviour speaks volumes.
It's convenient too isn't it? If you make yourself believe that everyone is getting at you that means you don't have to do anything because it's all "their" fault.
You've talked about not posting on this forum any longer and that is something I actually agree with. The longer you respond in the way you do the more bad feeling you will generate. It's probably better to quit while you're ahead because right here and now, this isn't doing anybody any good - least of all you.
We can't help you. You have to help yourself. That's the bottom line.
I just hope that somehow some of this gets through - I'm not holding my breath though...
Having calmed down now, I just want to say this to you Bev, if you're reading.
This board is a caring place. Look at all the people who responded to you to try and help. Maybe some of the words here seem harsh and maybe they are hard to read - but they have only been said because everyone is trying very hard to reach you, to make you see that this is within your power to change.
Andria for example bared her soul here and told you about the horrors she has experienced only (I think) to show you that there is hope, that we still have the power to turn our lives around even after the most tragic and heartbreaking experiences. You were out of order in your response to her and I think that is because you are defensive.
That said, I hope you do come back at some point asking for genuine advice on getting better. Because I promise you, the second that you look ready to try to tackle your problems, you will get an outpouring of support to see you through the long road to recovery. We all want to see you better and enjoying life. Why would we bother saying all this if we didn't care?
I think you are a very damaged person Bev and I believe you really believe it when you say you can't help how you are. That's why you need other people to tell you that yes you can, that life can be much better for you and that you don't need to suffer like this for the rest of your life.
Take care of yourself and good luck in everything. I genuinely hope we hear from you again and that we can support you as you get better.
Andria24
Just read all the messages. I so get you. I think your brill. But then I know that what our thoughts give and we believe hinder our lives. Yes, some people are strong and cope better than others. We are not all the same. As for Anxmum you need support whatever that maybe.
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