Struggling, please help!!! :-(

[bellesmummy]

I'm not on any meds, my choice, as can't handle the side effects! I see my dr regularly and am on a waiting list for face to face cbt. These past few days I am really struggling with my anxiety and its getting me so down! I have 2 small children to look after and its so very hard! I've stopped seeing my friends as I'm to nervous to. My mum lives close by and I go round hers most days just to get out the house but I don't want to be a burden to her.
What else can I do?? I have been told counselling won't help me but I feel like I need some sort of talking therapy!!!
Please help!

[Andria24]

I'm not sure what I or anyone else can offer by way of comfort. You don't take meds, you say you've been told counselling won't be of benefit so ... I'd revisit the doctor and discuss what alternatives are available. You're clearly struggling so there must be something more, or meds that work.

Worth noting that all meds have side effects, all generally recede and/or completely vanish once the drugs have settled in your system. You say you can't take the side effects and yet you're putting up with the brunt of the rather debilitating effects of anxiety disorder. I know what I'd rather deal with.

[bellesmummy]

I have tried two different meds both for several months and they both made me feel much worse than I do generally!
Thanks for your reply, but I was wondering what other therapies there are that have worked for other people.

[Andria24]

There are plenty more meds. As for therapy, whilst waiting for someone to come along with more info, have a look in the therapy sub-forum. Should give you more idea :)

[Sparkle1984]

How about Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy?

[T*]

Have you tried kalms before? Its a natural plant remedy. I had no faith in this sort of product before I tried it, but it does help. My best advice to you is to be as honest as you can with your family and friends about how your feeling, they can help make things much easier for you. X

[Tanner40]

Belles, I understand the feeling of not wanting to take medication that makes you feel worse than you did. I went through rounds of two different medications before finding the right medication for me. The first two mess made me feel as if I were dying and the side effects were horrendous. It was worth it to find something that worked.

Right now, you are consciously making the decision to live your life in a debilitated state, anxiety. That can be a never ending cycle, without taking appropriate steps to break it. Believe me, I know, like many others on this board, that is no way to live.

Talk to your GP and maybe find the medication that is right for you. Try some type of counseling. Make the effort to find out what works for you. You won't regret it.

[phil6]

Hi,
I just wanted to add my support to you Bellesmummy. I too am really struggling with anxiety at the moment. I too tried meds this year and have come off them as the anxiety was much worse on them.
I need to tell you, as I need to tell myself, you can recover with or without meds.
We are all trying to cope with some horrible sensations. And these sensations are always accompanied by some very self defeating and damaging thoughts.
I am currently doing my best to recover through acceptance. In a nutshell, acceptance means allowing any and all feelings without struggling to rid yourself of them. It is the constant trying to rid yourself of the feelings and watching yourself that is the cause of the problem. I really know how hard this is. Today I really have tried to allow the feelings without being so upset by them. As a result, I think I am feeling even worse. I think it is because I still expected or wanted the feelings to subside. Of course this is still not really accepting.
All I can say to you (and myself) is keep practicing this. Keep going. It will lead to recovery even if the road is long and bumpy. Live your life as you would without anxiety. I know that sounds glib, but small steps will work just as well. The main thing to remember is to stop playing our internal stories about how awful it is and how we want it to go away. Give yourself a break, and time to recover. These thoughts are not helpful and don't I know it!
I find I can accept for 30 seconds the descend into, "I can't do this" mode. I am trying not to be so hard on myself as I think this is how true acceptance has to be at the start. It is however an assured method of recovery, but it requires some courage and commitment.
Like me I am sure you just thought you haven't got the courage... But anxiety sufferers are amongst the bravest people I have met.

Phil

[craigj1303]

Just want to echo Phil here. This is the approach I am taking now. Accept that you have anxiety and allow yourself to live with the feelings of anxiousness that it brings. Trying to constantly fight them off and wish they weren't there is what is keeping you cemented in the anxiety cycle.

[bellesmummy]

How about Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy?
Thanks Sparkle, i will look into that. Is it different from just CBT?

Have you tried kalms before? Its a natural plant remedy. I had no faith in this sort of product before I tried it, but it does help. My best advice to you is to be as honest as you can with your family and friends about how your feeling, they can help make things much easier for you. X
I use rescue remedy and find that quite helpful but will look at trying kalms. Which do you take the night time ones or others? Thanks.

Hi,
I just wanted to add my support to you Bellesmummy. I too am really struggling with anxiety at the moment. I too tried meds this year and have come off them as the anxiety was much worse on them.
I need to tell you, as I need to tell myself, you can recover with or without meds.
We are all trying to cope with some horrible sensations. And these sensations are always accompanied by some very self defeating and damaging thoughts.
I am currently doing my best to recover through acceptance. In a nutshell, acceptance means allowing any and all feelings without struggling to rid yourself of them. It is the constant trying to rid yourself of the feelings and watching yourself that is the cause of the problem. I really know how hard this is. Today I really have tried to allow the feelings without being so upset by them. As a result, I think I am feeling even worse. I think it is because I still expected or wanted the feelings to subside. Of course this is still not really accepting.
All I can say to you (and myself) is keep practicing this. Keep going. It will lead to recovery even if the road is long and bumpy. Live your life as you would without anxiety. I know that sounds glib, but small steps will work just as well. The main thing to remember is to stop playing our internal stories about how awful it is and how we want it to go away. Give yourself a break, and time to recover. These thoughts are not helpful and don't I know it!
I find I can accept for 30 seconds the descend into, "I can't do this" mode. I am trying not to be so hard on myself as I think this is how true acceptance has to be at the start. It is however an assured method of recovery, but it requires some courage and commitment.
Like me I am sure you just thought you haven't got the courage... But anxiety sufferers are amongst the bravest people I have met.

Phil
Thanks Phil. I understand what you are saying. I have been trying to accept it today but it is hard!

Just want to echo Phil here. This is the approach I am taking now. Accept that you have anxiety and allow yourself to live with the feelings of anxiousness that it brings. Trying to constantly fight them off and wish they weren't there is what is keeping you cemented in the anxiety cycle.
Thanks Craig.

[NoPoet]

Not everyone benefits from the first few medications they try. Anxiety is not considered treatment-resistant in the medical sense of the term unless you've tried six different types of medication. Were the ones you tried both from the same class? If so, you should avoid taking any more medications of that class and look for something a bit different like mirtazapine or agomelatine. Pregabalin is also supposed to be effective against anxiety and doesn't have a long list of side effects, but it doesn't have an antidepressant effect (which is only going to be a problem if you have symptoms of depression).

Also, according to stats, if people don't benefit from the first or second medication, they usually benefit from the third. Consider tapering onto the medication very slowly, increasing your dose every 2 weeks (or 4 weeks if you get noticeable side effects) until you reach the dose set by your doctor. Going straight onto a medium or high dose can be a shock to the system. Even fast-acting meds like mirtazapine require one to two months before the full benefit comes in.

Whether you want to give meds another go or not, Sparkle's suggestion of mindfulness-based CBT nails it. It sounds like you're determined to recover and this improves your chances by a high degree. Plus, therapists love working with clients who are determined to get better.

[Sparkle1984]

Yes, mindfulness is different to ordinary CBT in that it teaches you to live in the present moment so that you are less focused on future worries or past regrets. A good book is Mindfulness - Finding Peace in a Frantic World.

[T*]

It justnsays kalms tablets, they do make you feel a little drowsy though so I prefer to take them once ive put my little one to bed. Have a nice bath and two of them, and try and praise yourself for the positive things youve done that day, and forgive yourself for things you couldnt quite manage x

[bellesmummy]

Not everyone benefits from the first few medications they try. Anxiety is not considered treatment-resistant in the medical sense of the term unless you've tried six different types of medication. Were the ones you tried both from the same class? If so, you should avoid taking any more medications of that class and look for something a bit different like mirtazapine or agomelatine. Pregabalin is also supposed to be effective against anxiety and doesn't have a long list of side effects, but it doesn't have an antidepressant effect (which is only going to be a problem if you have symptoms of depression).

Also, according to stats, if people don't benefit from the first or second medication, they usually benefit from the third. Consider tapering onto the medication very slowly, increasing your dose every 2 weeks (or 4 weeks if you get noticeable side effects) until you reach the dose set by your doctor. Going straight onto a medium or high dose can be a shock to the system. Even fast-acting meds like mirtazapine require one to two months before the full benefit comes in.

Whether you want to give meds another go or not, Sparkle's suggestion of mindfulness-based CBT nails it. It sounds like you're determined to recover and this improves your chances by a high degree. Plus, therapists love working with clients who are determined to get better.
Thanks for your reply. I have been on citalopram and mirtazapine, which I believe are different? I started on 15 mg of mirt, it seemed to work at first then anxiety came back so doc told me to take 30mg which made me even worse! I was up and down with the doses and nothing was working so I decided to come off them!!

It justnsays kalms tablets, they do make you feel a little drowsy though so I prefer to take them once ive put my little one to bed. Have a nice bath and two of them, and try and praise yourself for the positive things youve done that day, and forgive yourself for things you couldnt quite manage x
Did you have any other side effects from kalms? Read on packet that nausea can be a side effect which really makes my anxiety worse!!!

Yes, mindfulness is different to ordinary CBT in that it teaches you to live in the present moment so that you are less focused on future worries or past regrets. A good book is Mindfulness - Finding Peace in a Frantic World.
Thanks. I will definitely be looking into mindfulness cbt. :-)