One of a million

[kuzaki]

Hello all. My name's David and I'm posting here because I guess I share the same debilitating illness as many of you. I'm 33 now and I'm only just coming to terms with the reality or my situation. I've always been like this, but I guess I've been avoiding the wicked truth. It's easy for me to admit this here, impersonal as it is at the moment, and I've never spoken a word of this even to my nearest and dearest, but this anxiety has made me an alcholic. See, I'm a Jekyl and Hyde type person. Not in a bad way, but I do seem to have two opposite poles to my character. When I've had a few drinks I'm the liveliest, funniest and most popular person in the room, the exact opposite of what I am when I'm normal. I'm now staying away from the drink but everything I do terrifies me. I'm even too scared to go to the doctor to seek help. I'm afraid I'll loose what friends I have left and end up confining myself to my house. I hope I can find help with you here, and that we can find some solitude in each others words. kuzaki.

David

[eeyorelover]

Hi David and welcome to the site :)
I'm sure that you will find alot of supportive people and a bunch of useful info here.
xxx
Sandy

[candie]

Hi David,

Welcome,youre definitely not alone in feeling the way you do as you will see when you read the other posts.

Also you can take comfort in knowing that you can come on here rain or shine,just to have a good old moan if you want!!!!
You will find lots of lovely people here.

Take care and keep smiling...Candie xxx:D

[vernon]

Hi David and firstly well done for admitting you use alcohol ad medication, by doing this you are well over half way to solving your problems, ( I wish I had realised this years ago). I started drinking at about 16 to 17 as I found after a drink I could go out clubbing, chatting to people I didn’t know, and even go to dances and clubs which just didn’t happen without drink. Well at first I didn’t really think I had a problem just thought I was just that sort of shy person. Anyway whenever I went for a job interview, Went just into town or just the shops I would have a drink before I went. I even remember having a few pints when starting a new job as I was too scared to just walk into a new job, (mind you the job was on night shift). Anyway I got to the stage where I had full blown agoraphobia, this was hell I had to get drunk, not just a few drinks just to step outside the door, I spoke to a doctor and asked am I an alcoholic and he said no I had an anxiety problem and the drink was just like a crutch. anyway many years later I went for some blood tests and my liver count was way high and was told I would have to stop or cut right back on the drinking. Well I tried on many occasion to cut down but just couldn’t so about 3 years ago I decided to stop drinking fully. The first four or so weeks where fine no problem at all and then the anxiety returned real big time, I felt so so Ill scared shaky, but that’s what I expected really as I had been drinking 40 years and a lot daily and at times very heavy. After about 12 months of no drink I did feel much better all round, health and anxiety wise. After I had stopped about 2 and a half years I did decide to go to my local twice a week just to socialise and just have a couple of pints. The first time I went I had 3 pints and felt pretty drunk. I am still going Friday and Saturday night but only for the last hour, (I go out about 10pm, bar closes about 11 15pm. I can’t drink much without feeling the affects proberly because I stopped so long. I think the stopping for 2 and a half years was of good benefit to me as now I can go out without drink, I will not have a drink at home and can easily just go out the 2 nights a week and just have 2 or 3 pints. I think having a drink is fine, IF you want a drink, but the way it was, like you, it wasn’t drink cos we wanted to but drink cos the drink wanted us and we had to drink to survive. Well as I said you are over half way beating it as you realise you have a drink problem much sooner than I did. It is a good idea to stop fully for a while to clear the system then maybe you can do like me and just have the odd night out to socialise and not cos you have to. Anyway all the best for now and I hope you succeed in getting better. Take care. Vernon

[honeybee3939]

Hi David

A BIG warm welcome to you, lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice while making new friends on the way.

Here are some posts that may help David

Alcohol
alcohol and panic-do they mix? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2409)
Alcohol (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4783)
Anxiety and alcohol (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5142)
Alcohol (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5347)
hangovers (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5825)
Panic attacks and alcohol (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6371)
horrible cycle (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6359)
Anxaiety after drinking alcohol (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6960)

Love

Andrea
xxx

[LickeyEndBlues]

Hi David

Welcome, I'm sure you will find benefit in here. I also felt the need for a bit of dutch courage and like yourself was the life and soul of many occasions....yet the loneliest person in the room.

I have never considered myself an alchoholic (I dont think I'm in denial!!) but I do know I used to drink too much. Now at the tender age of 51 I seem to have gone off the stuff!! I still enjoy the occasional drink but nowhere near the same extent as before.

Take care

Iain

Laissez les bon temp roulez

[yorkylover]

Hi David and welcome to the forum.I would just like to say you are very brave as you have come on here and admitted you have a drink problem.Well done.[^]My brother is 37 and has been an alcoholic for many years.He is very much like you,he drinks for confidence.he is like jekyl and hyde.You have done really well to stay away from the drink,but you do need to get some help,especially if you start to feel down,this is usually when you reach for a drink.Have you a supportive family.You may need some counselling,so you can learn to cope with the anxiety without the drink pet.
You are doing well so far,well done to you.;)

Ellen XX

[clickaway]

Welcome to the forum, David.

I hope that the comfort given here together with the relative anonymity, will make things easier for you to deal with these thoughts and issues.

Take care mate,


Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[ceecee]

hi david welcome to the forum
many people will understand how you feel!!!!!!
take care
rachel x

[trac67]

Hi David,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[nomorepanic]

Hi David and welcome aboard.

Lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help.

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

Nicola

[GAD]

Hi David & Welcome

I'm sure this site will provide you with lots of support and understanding as it has me.

Michelle:D

[jill]

Hi David,

WELCOME TO THE SITE :D

There are lots of nice people here who will help and support you.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX

When you fear something.
Learn as much about it as you can.
Knowledge conquers fear.

[manmoor]

Hi David,

A big warm welcome to you.

Take Care

Mandyxx