does anyone else feel like theyre not really doing what they think they are?

[T*]

Bit of a difficult one to explain, but I get this feeling a lot, wether im walking, sitting, reading ect. I feel as though im not really doing it, like im somewhere else doing something else. Sometimes it feels like im watching myself on camera or in a film, its a stramge feeling and makes me panic really bad and is very hard to try and bring myself back to the here and now,and what is real. Does anybody else get anything like this?

[oldtime]

It's depersonalisation and it is something you get with anxiety.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization

It is very weird, but very common with anxiety. I've had it on and off for a long time, I started noticing it long before I was diagnosed with anxiety.

[T*]

I havent been diagnosed yet, I dont really want to see a gp, but im pretty sure of what it is. It is very strange, but its good to know im not the only one.

[Kez_miller]

text book depersonalisation. its just a symptom of anxiety, its horrible n is very scary but the only way to get rid of it is to ignore it, stop thinking about it and keep calm!

[debs71]

Yes, me too, even on my 'good' days. I get in mostly out in public, like when walking to the shops. A feeling that I am not really doing it, and I am in a movie or something.

Very weird, but one of the joys of anxiety I'm afraid.:wacko:

[T*]

Yes, I mostly get it when im out too, but have recently started happening at home :huh:

[NoPoet]

Yep, this is extremely common and is harmless. All it does is increase the anxiety in someone who doesn't know what it is, or who does know what it is but fears it anyway. It's usually a natural defence mechanism to prevent you from being overloaded by stress but it can be triggered by illness (eg when you're recovering from flu) and some types of medication.

A lot of people seem to get depersonalisation and/or derealisation because the way they think has changed due to their experiences with anxiety etc. Basically, they don't recognise themselves for a while. This isn't a bad thing - life is about growing and changing - and people gradually learn to be comfortable in themselves as they start to recover, at which point depersonalisation usually seems to just fade away.

[T*]

Thats good to know, thankyou. It does scare me, but I think itll scare me less now that i can understand it.

[Mac1chick]

I,ve had this for 2 months is that normal ? Think Im accepting now but at times it really scares me and I think I will never feel normal again. Can anybody say idf they had it longer than 2 months and got better ?

Mac

---------- Post added at 19:39 ---------- Previous post was at 19:37 ----------

oh and my eyes feel wierd as well ! Is this part of Dp ?

[NoPoet]

Mac1chick, it doesn't really matter how long you experience it. It's a normal part of the process. Fearing it and constantly monitoring it will just prolong it, but it can't hurt you, it is not designed to.

[Mac1chick]

Thanks Poet I def do fear it but not as bad as when it started .

[T*]

Ive had it on and off for about a year now, not every day, but sometimes its so scary I just want to turn around and go back home or just sit down in the street to feel a bit more stable. It normally fades after about 15 minutes or so, think you have to talk to yourself about it, it help me to repeat to myself that im ok lots of times and dont forget to breathe haha.

[NoPoet]

When people say they fear it - which I do understand - consider asking yourself what exactly you fear. Are you afraid it will never go away? Or that it will turn out to be something that is somehow harmful? Arming yourself with knowledge is a good way to challenge your fearful thoughts. After all, if derealisation is so common and if nobody has ever been harmed by it in any way, you can challenge your "what if?" thoughts with soothing, reassuring truths. This takes practice, it might not help overnight, but if you can lose your fear of derealisation/depersonalisation, think about how much relief it will bring :)

[Mac1chick]

I've let it take over my life :( I barely go out now coz Im so afraid

Mac

[T*]

Dont let it stop you going out. I did that at first and just made things worse. If it affects you , ost when youre out, try setting yourself a target of goimg somewhere nearby, then just go further and further. My fear is that im going to pass out with my little girl there and she'll run into the road, river ect.

[NoPoet]

I always say the same thing about when we lose things to anxiety: Take back what anxiety has taken. It's easier said than done, otherwise nobody would ever get stuck in an anxious state, but tell yourself that no matter how weird you feel, nothing bad is going to happen. If you can boil anxiety down to one fear, it is that something terrible is going to happen. That belief is central to anxiety, but we feel it without any rational proof that it will ever come true.

What we do is cling to our negative thoughts, experiences and symptoms and use them as proof that we really are under threat. It's my new theory that when the negative things don't come true, instead of feeling reassured and losing the fear, we search ever more desperately for proof that bad things are happening or are going to happen. It's a trap, an upwards spiral that leads to your anxiety hitting the roof, when in fact nothing terrible has happened.

Of course, many of us suffer from anxiety due to life events, but once these events are done they're gone. We just re-live them or expect them to happen again.

[Mac1chick]

Hi Guys
I am going to attempt getting a bus tomorrow after 2 months of avoiding it ! Also I am off work sick at the mo. Does anyone think I should just go back.

[NoPoet]

Hi, this is where Claire Weekes comes in handy. When getting the bus, try to have a destination, even if it's just to go to the station and come back again. But if you can manage a walk around the town, even if it feels different and strange, do it - you will come to no harm. If you've got Claire Weekes' mp3s, listen to the Pass Through Panic ones as they seem to focus on agoraphobia (which wasn't very well known back then) and she walks you through getting ready and leaving the house in a very confident, explanatory manner. It's all about de-mystifying the things you think, feel and experience, and actually leaving the house gives you experience in confronting your fear, but don't go out there tense and terrified - take deep, relaxing breaths and remind yourself that you used to do this all the time, it only feels strange because you are seeing the world through new eyes.

[Broken-doll]

I personally find the scariest part of derealisation..is not feeling that you're "yourself" it's as if you don't know who you are any,ore and you can't connect with reality! You can't embrace the present moment which of course is what life is all about! It feels as if you're existing yet not even knowing who you are and not "living". That's my personal take on it!

[Mac1chick]

Thanks Poet . But do you think I will get my old eyes back eventually ? BTW I will let you all know how I get on.

[T*]

I dont feel like im not living, if anyrhing I feel like im living two lives, or like my mind isnt connected to my body.

---------- Post added at 20:32 ---------- Previous post was at 20:31 ----------

Good luck mac1, you can do it, just believe in yourself :)

[Mac1chick]

Thanks T x We gotta if we wanna beat this horrible condition ! How old is your little girl btw x

[NoPoet]

Mac1chick - you don't want your old eyes back - the old you became ill with anxiety, so it's about moving forward and making improvements to your confidence and self-esteem to prevent it from ever happening again. Life moves forwards, we are designed to be able to "upgrade" our skills and abilities, so view your anxiety as an indication that you need to learn new skills and build a more positive, more self-affirming way of seeing the world. Don't be scared of change, you can definitely make this work for you and as you start to recover, you'll find that familiar interests and positive personality traits also start coming back.

Broken-Doll: That ties into seeing the world with new eyes, and thinking new thoughts that you never had before. Look at it as character growth. You can replace unhelpful thoughts and beliefs with new, self-affirming ones. Always remember that as a human being, you're designed to grow and improve, so while anxiety may initially seem to change us for the worst, a person who comes back and rebuilds their life can experience the world in a deeper, more appreciative way.