View Full Version : If it's going to go wrong it's me
Hi,
Am I the only one who believes that their life was and is full of negativity. Every time I try to go forward I'm confronted with an ailment or some Sort of anxiety about life.
I just don't want to go forward anymore. I feel safer were I am. Why bother. Yet I want to feel good inside and feel good mentally. Everyday is a battle of getting up and facing the day. I'm not depressed just fed up. Fed up with actual pain and emotional pain. Life is a bloody pain. I envy others who seem yo have it together. None of us wants to feel like this bug I feel my life is so empty and lonely. I gave a loving husband and sons but feel lonely inside. No friends as such. No one anyway that understands me or even accepts me as I am. I am surrounded by so called friends who are wealthy arrogant and selfish. But it's either or nothing. I gave nothing in common with them. So I'm left feeling very lonely and abandoned. This us my negative side talking now. By this evening I'll feel much better, and not so negative. I wander why I feel so negative in the morning and then get better at night. I'm confused .com!.
It's all to do with how you perceive the world, and how you look at yourself in the world. Life isn't fair, life just *is* - if you know what I mean? Life is what you make of it and your reaction to the challenges you face.
Some people have terrible luck, yet still have a good attitude, so it's definitely possible. For some of us it doesn't come naturally, so we have to do a little work on ourselves.
CBT or counselling might be a good environment for you to look at yourself and how you approach the world - have you considered either?
Hi
I feel exactly like you most of the time.
I have had anxiety/agoraphobia for over 30 years.
Obviously, I have had many good days, when i have 'coped' with this 'lifestyle'
But the never ending drudgery of knowing that I will probably be like this for the rest of my life is soul destroying.
I too, look around me and envy people, who have a life.
Who are able to go to work, go on holiday, cope with the most mandarin life events without wanting to crawl under a duvet and stay there until I'm able to deal with the situation.
I know, those people probably have problems of their own.
Frustration, humiliation, sadness, and anger.
I have tried. I never stop trying to face, combat, succeed, push boundaries etc.
Sometimes the struggle gets to me. But hey ho, we've no choice but to keep going
And try to remember the 'good days' xxxxx
There's a line in a Bruce Willis movie where someone was complaining and he says: "Ohhhh, let me call that Wahhhhmbulance!" ;)
No offense Raphaels or anyone who feels this way but sheesh! Ok, you suffer from a mental illness but it can be treated and cured and they don't have to cut your chest open or slice you from ear to ear to remove tumors from your neck! It sucks I know, I suffered from depression after my 1st heart attack, took meds and went to therapy. But I dealt with it and moved on.
It's just that this is a hot button for me. By all rights based on what's happened to me I shouldn't even be here but I am. My body is a shadow of what it was (still look damn good though ~lol~) and I have more aches, pains and "niggles" as you call them, then you possible could imagine and guess what? Life is GOOD! It sure beats the alternative! That, and all the cancer warriors I came to know during my battle were the most positive upbeat and inspiring people I've ever met. It's hard to believe it's been a year since I was diagnosed and all I've been doing is fighting but so be it! That's what a warrior does. Your fight is NO different! The only difference is your disease won't bury you 6 feet under. However, if you allow it to, it will bury you above ground which in my opinion, is worse.
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we handle it." Charles Swindoll
It truly is about attitude. I get down, we all do, but the difference is I pull myself up. I've not gone into detail what I currently face and deal with but believe me, it's substantial. No matter, life goes on. I "choose" to be positive because it puts me in control.
Perhaps therapy, CBT or meds can help break you out of the cycle. My goodness, fight for yourself! A small victory is still a victory. No one is saying you need to win the entire war in a day but at least join the battle and fight... one battle, one day at a time.
Good Luck!
Tanks for the replies. I have been through as a child my father beating my mum. I lived in fear daily. I was touched up s a little girl by an idiot. I married the wrong man and divorced years later. I had an illegitimate child by my cousin. All I ever wanted was to be loved. But chose the wrong man. Then 10 years of no one talking to me in my community. My son has had several operations on his heart. We nearly lost him several times. In traumatised by it all. These are but. Few. My own health us getting me Down. As for CBT it's not for me. It has not worked. Thinking of NLP. I am trying to go forward but my health and pain bring me back to square one. Fed up again.
Raphaels,
You've certainly had a rough ride chick and I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through.
However (you knew that was coming didn't ya?) I went through some major brown stuff in my life. And then life started getting good - I married my soul mate, started a career I adore, and have a beautiful 8 month old son. Life should have been good but I was still....well a bit like you. Living in fear. It has taken psychotherapy to get me to understand that my past so eroded my self esteem and gave me so many guilt issues that I couldn't believe that this "goodness" in my life was for keeps.
What I'm trying to say is that you could get all you want from life, like I did, but unless you get help you will still feel this way. I'm now very very happy and my anxiety is very much in remission (I wont say it's gone because one never knows) and the only mystery to me now is why I waited so long. I get pain and physical issues but life is marvelous anyway - I pop a painkiller and get on with my day.
What is it about CBT that didn't work for you?
I have tried NLP and I love it, you should give it a go. Although I would recommend that you keep working on the CBT too, it takes hard work to absorb the techniques sometimes.
There is a woman I often see for session of NLP and Adlerian counselling, and I love sessions with her. As well as the cathartic effect of talking about your problems, the Adlerian approach will help you challenge how you think and look for solutions you can put in place in your life. It's very empowering and insightful.
Had a session of it last week and it was so helpful, I'd go see her more often if I lived nearby!
Hi, I have the most wonderful husband anyone could ask for. I adore him. I have a good business that he and my son run together. A year ago I was working there. Now because of pain and in my stomach I gave gone downhill. I know in my head it's anxiety because of the fear a fa heart attack but trying to move on is hard. I went many years being normal whatever that maybe. But now I'm back to square one. I am seeing a gastro consultant next Tuesday private as NHS is long to wait. Need second opinion. I fear pain. Yet I had 5sons without any form of pain relief. I believe it's the unknown. CBT has now finished for me. She delved into my past and this has taken me back to square one. I now have to wait several months before being referred to another psychologist. Thus is what she said. I believe her words were I need to evaluate my thoughts, before I can move on. So now I'm trying to find a good NLP therapist in a Birmingham. They are asking the earth. But I will not have hypnotherapy as it goes against my beliefs. Thanks for the replies I really do appreciate you all. No one understands more than another kindred spirit.
Let me put it another way....
We all have baggage as well as clothes we don't wear in our closets.
It's totally up to you to decide if you want to keep things you never wear or whether you want to bring a backpack or a cart full of luggage on the journey of life.
I much prefer lighter and less clutter ;)
Hi, Fishmanpa
I agree with you. It's just hard when in pain. I hope next week when I see the gastro doc I will get some answers or at least a change Of meds. Do you know something I have always wanted to live in America maybe one day I can come and see your wonderful land.
I believe it must be coming up to your Thanks giving. Thanks x
I totally understand what you're saying Raphaels - pain makes it so hard.
Fishmanpa knows pain bless him, and fear of the like I can't even begin to comprehend. The difference is that he doesn't suffer from Health Anxiety and is therefore able to love his life despite it.
You (and I until very recently) have to work to try and get to the place he is.
For me, psychotherapy was the thing that did the trick. I'm still in therapy but I already understand myself and what's behind my fears and sadness so much more which makes it easier to fight them. It does involve going over ones life and stirring up old feelings - my therapist described it as like disturbing the sediment at the bottom of a lake - but it was so worth it and I started to improve after the very first session. Not sure if it is something you'd consider but I thought I'd throw it out there.
I hope you get some help from the gastro doctor and that you will allow us all to support you through your journey
Thanks Katesa
When I'm not in any pain I'm ok. I just get on with life. But pain for me is so hard to bear.
I've had this pain for 14 months now. But I'm looking into NLP. I truly believe my neg thoughts are what is holding me back. I've been through CBT raking up old memories but it's in the past. I know my past imposes on my present but how I think of them negatively is no good. I need to find a good therapist For NLP to go forward. x
CBT shouldn't be all about raking up old memories - it should teach you techniques to look at the way your thought processes work, and applying thoses techniques to your current problems. Are you sure it was CBT that you did and not psychotherapy?
Have you thought about doing some mindfulness classes to help you deal with the pain? Where I live people who have chronic pain can do specific mindfulness classes to help them deal with it and live better lives. You don't have to do a specific class, but maybe you could read a bit about it and apply it to your life first?
Goodmorning Honeylove,
As far as I was concerned it was CBT. I knew it wasn't but there you go. When your ill you take anything to get better. I am trying to go for NLP. But I gave to be sure it's right and the right person to do it. Thank you for your support.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.