please help :(

[mgw]

Hi,
I posted on here a while back but am still in the same situation, getting desperate, so thought I would post again.

I'm 21 and ever since I can remember I've suffered from anxiety related issues. I remember being very young, maybe 10, and suffering from OCD. To start with this didn't cause many problems, I was still able to live life and I wasn't really prevented from doing anything. In my later teenage years, the OCD began to calm down and instead it was replaced with what I think is GAD related issues.. I began not going to school as I would suffer from anxiety attacks daily, especially during classes. This grew worse and worse throughout sixthform and into my first 2 years of University. I am now in my third year and am really stuggling to cope. I suffer daily from anxiety, I don't feel I am worrying about anything specifically but it can and does effect me at random points throughout the day. I'm now unable to go shopping, to a restraunt etc without the feelings of derealization, shaking, panic etc. Recently on holiday I experienced what I think was a three day anxiety attack. I was unable to get out of bed, was hysterical and was convinced I was dying.

I'm really scared about how much this is growing and how much its effecting my life. I can't remember a day now when I haven't had all these feelings, and I'm really scared first of all why this is happening. I don't feel as if I'm worrying about anything, or have anything to worry about, so why is this happening to me? Its effecting my relationship, my friendships, my work and my social life. I don't feel like me any more, I don't feel like a person any more. I've began to really doubt my future, as I can't see any of this getting better. I just feel I'm never going to be able to actually live life. Its making me really down and its scaring me about what I could do to myself.

When I was younger on three separate occasions I went through different CBT counselling. These did not help very much at all. I am trying to sort out going through them again, because I really am getting desperate. However, the waiting list is very long, and with me being at my final year in university I don't know where I will be come July, so I don't think NHS based counselling with the waiting time is going to work for me. I've been offered a few slots with my university soon, but I still don't see this as being effective for me. I guess I know that I'm going to go there with a state of mind that thinks it wont benefit me at all (always been very sceptical of counselling), but I don't know how I can stop myself thinking this.

When I posted on here a few months ago it was to do with the fact I'd been prescribed Lustral an was in two minds on whether to take them. I'm still in this situation now. After joining a new GP, I went and spoke about options again- was told the waiting list for counselling was too high and I would be better off taking Lustral in the mean time. I still really don't know whether I should. From reading stories about the initial side effects I am really scared and don't think I'm going to be able to do it. I don't mind side effects such as being sick, its the heightened anxiety and depression that scare me. I really don't think I'd be able to cope with this at all. I couldn't imagine anything that's worse than what it is now. That in addition to the other side effects I've read about such as insomnia and night sweats for example, I know I would freak out about why this was happening regardless of if I truly knew it was because of the meds (I suffer a lot from health anxiety). I've read the nausea and stuff can last about 2 weeks but the other things can last for a lot longer, and its a lot longer before anxiety dies down.

If anyone could help me I'd like to know whether Lustral side effects really are as bad as I've read? Mainly the anxiety side of it. An if there is any benefit to taking it at all? Does it make anxiety a lot better? Or does it have a minimal effect?

Thanks and sorry for this big self pitty rant!

mgw

[loreen]

Hello

I wanted to reply,as I can identify with a lot of your anxiety.

I also suffer from GAD and panic attacks. I had problems with sitting in classrooms as a child ( I was ok as long as I was by a door). As an adult I still find social gatherings,waiting rooms etc a challenge.

I have tried many anti depressants over the years including Lustal (sertraline ).
It is important to remember that one person may get many side effects, and someone else may have few problems. For me Sertraline caused me too many stomach problems to benefit me.

Have you thought about Pregabalin ? This is not an anti depressant and is licensed in the UK to treat anxiety. I have had no side effects from this and good results. Again ,other people may react differently.

Hope this helps.

Loreen x

[mgw]

Hi Loreen,
Thank's so much for replying.

I had never heard of pregabalin, I will go and look it up now.

When taking Lustral did you experience any heightened anxiety? I know all side effects are different for all people, and your answer will not mean it will do the same to me, but I just feel so scared by this!

Thanks again, really do appreciate it.
Mgw

[loreen]

Hello

No, my anxiety was helped with lustral. I tried to persevere with the stomach problems, but after a few months things got worse, so I had to move on to something else.

The trouble with SSRIs is they can make things worse before getting better. Some people seem to be affected more than others.

If you decide to give Pregabalin a try, take in some written evidence ,as doctors are reluctant to prescribe it due to costs.

Loreen x

[mgw]

Yeah, from what I've looked at it says that doctors are reluctant, it also says a lot about tolerance issues? Has this been an issue for you?

Also, with Lustral, was your anxiety heightened at the beginning? Do you have any idea about how long this lasts for in people?

Thanks again so much,
Mgw x

[loreen]

Hi

I didn't notice any increase in anxiety when I first started lustral. I remember feeling calmer after about 3 weeks ,which was such a relief. I was sad to stop taking it, but was having to take imodiem after each meal - not nice !

As for tolerance with pregabalin , I have not had that problem. I take more if I feel over anxious, and just stick to my regular dose the rest of the time. It has definitely helped me to relax. I have problems "switching off" at night ,and pregabalin helps me to sleep.

Loreen x

[Broken-doll]

Hi sweetheart! I was prescribed sertraline (lustral) a few days ago and finally Ickes up the courage to take the first yesterday! After two doses it has heightened my anxiety slightly but I've taken a few diazepam to calm the side effects down, I've had a few erm.... Toilet issues lol! But nothing too scary (touch wood) so far!xx

[mgw]

Loreen- Thanks, feeling calmer after only 3 weeks sounds amazing to me! An if I haven't plucked up the courage with lustral I will see if I can pick up the courage with pregabalin (If I can get prescribed it) Thanks so much for your help!


Broken-doll- Thanks for your reply! Well done for taking the first one! Do you think its the anxiety increasing as a result of the Lustral or as a result of worrying about it? An how much higher is your anxiety? Hope its still all going well for you!

[Emphyrio]

Hi mgw,

Have you had a blood check just to make sure your iron, thyroid etc are all functioning correctly? Sometimes anxiety has a physical cause, some times it doesn't, but it would be good for your peace of mind.

All antidepressants can make you feel a bit worse in the beginning - some people are affected by them more than others. They can bring with them other unwanted side effects though that do not fade whilst you're on the medication - like sexual side effects, and tiredness. You could possibly try 25mg instead of 50mg to reduce the likelihood of side effects happening - I had some relief from just 5mg of citalopram (a quarter of the standard dose) - but had to stop taking it because of visual side effects.

Aside from that - you could try inositol as a natural anxiety treatment. There is a good inositol guide in the natural remedies section of this forum. Also, watch your caffeine intake, alcohol etc.

[Sparkle1984]

Hi, have you managed to find a way forward? If you're really struggling to take the medication I suggest going back to the doctor to see if they have any advice or recommendations.

[mgw]

Emphyrio- Thank you so much for your reply, I really do appreciate it! Yep, have been tested for iron and thyroid problems, all came back fine. I will have a look at that section, thank you very much for your suggestion. I have also stopped caffeine completely now, limited my alcohol intake (a lot for me as was drinking way too much for the last few years, have now had 4 weeks nearly sober which is very good for me!). Thank you again for your reply!

Sparkle1984 - Thankyou so much for your reply, really do appreciate it! I'm still struggling a lot :(, up at 2:45 now worrying about it! Am hopefully visiting the doctors tomorrow and taking your advice and asking for some more advice, I really don't feel they gave me much last time. I've tried telling myself that tomorrow will be the day I start, and am hoping I can follow through with this.. but we'll see! Thank you again x

[AnxiousGirl1]

Hi mgw, I just wanted to say I think you should def have CBT again, it took a couple of times for me to really reap the benefits but I swear once you know the drill it does take practice but it improves anxiety immeasurably if you can learn to challenge negative thoughts

Also, is there anything that sets off your anxiety? Like what thoughts do you have that make you anxious? Because usually it all stems from your thoughts

Well done on giving up alcohol! I did the same, I'm in the 5 week marker and feel so much better for it

Love and Light xxx

[mgw]

Hi anxiousgirl, thankyou so much for your reply! Honestly it feels so good receiving replies to these issues, don't feel so alone with it all.

I am going to take your suggestion and try CBT again I think - just so hard getting it, university counselling service says my case is too severe for them to help, NHS saying their waiting list will be too long for me and uni will help ahhhhhhh, getting so fed up with it all! Am trying to see if I can find any cheap private counselling places, but finding this difficult! Really can't afford much!

As for what sets off my anxiety - I really do not know. The big problem I have is it happens when I don't really feel I am worrying about anything.. Saying that I do know I worry a lot on a daily basis... a lot to do with health anxiety, fear of dying in sleep etc. I can put triggers on to when my anxiety happens for example when walking to unviersity I know exactly when I'm going to start up an anxiety attack the particular road, sounds odd but happens! I also know that going to shops, waiting in ques, restraunts it will all be a lot worse.. I guess this may be to do with being in with social situations.. but I don't feel I worry about it? I think all my worries are now maybe about having an anxiety attack that makes it happen.. I don't know. The wierdest times for me are when I can just be lying in bed not worrying, sitting with family and it will all start like crazy, anxiety growing and everything! No idea why! Just happens at random!

Well done on giving up the alcohol! Really is great to not have to go through the horrible after effects of a night drinking, but sure do miss the feeling of no worry when drunk!

Thanks again xxxxxx

[AnxiousGirl1]

No worries lovely. Yeah you def should do the CBT :) push for it and a doc should def refer you!

I think it must originally stem from a thought... If you can trace back then you can usually rectify these thoughts. How is your diet etc? I'm trying to think if you say it's not a thought sometimes if you eat too much sugar/caffeine/hungover can all make your body feel pretty anxious :/

Don't fear the attacks and they usually won't happen. Think of the worst that will happen... You will have a panic attack... That is all. So don't fear it. It's a mitral body response to stress.

When you say it happens at random are you sure you don't have a thought like 'what if I have an anxiety attack now' sorta thought? It's sometimes hard to recognise our thoughts when we have been identified with our minds and conditioned by them for so long.

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. I still crave it sooo much. So hard when out with friends not to have galss but really don't miss the hangovers! Lmao xx