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phil6
13-11-13, 16:24
Hi all,
I had an excellent day yesterday. No anxiety, and feeling like the world is okay. Don't really know what I was worried about and not understanding why I can't cope with anxiety when it comes because it's all a bluff and it doesn't mean anything. That's the way it is when I feel good! No problem!
Today started well, but by lunchtime I was slowly feeling the return of anxiety. Starting with the old churning stomach, followed by the little doubts in my thinking.
Now I know that the urge to try and work this out, to try and change the way I'm feeling, to try and hold on to the good thoughts, none of the strategies really work. In fact I think that's the problem. But still the thoughts and feelings are very difficult to cope with. The bottom line is when the anxiety starts to become intense I do get scared, and I do succumb to the struggle to get back to feeling good.
Now I'm not stupid, I know this is a mistake even when I feel anxious. But I am writing this while feeling anxious because I still absolutely need some kind of reassurance.
When feeling well like yesterday I write myself little notes. I state that this will pass, I state that I am getting better. I tell myself that this is part of the journey of recovery.
Unfortunately none of this works. I read my little notes and they seem meaningless now.
I can carry on through this, I can do ordinary things, but it just feels like crap and I cannot reassure myself that I doing OK.
Is this why acceptance is so difficult? I decided yesterday that if I felt bad again today that I wouldn't read about it, I wouldn't post on this site about it, I would just ride out the storm. Do nothing! But here I am.
I am still not sure whether I am really accepting this. That's the cycle of thoughts that I get back into. What am I doing wrong, what's wrong with me, I can't do this etc. Then the depression sets in and I want to bawl.
Today I'm not going to do that. Today I am going to wait for the symptoms to calm down and hopefully think straight again. This actually has a slightly positive effect on my mood ( but not for long). Maybe this is acceptance and maybe I have to do this many times before I stop fearing it. It ain't nice and that's a fact. It also changes the way I think and that's a fact.
The hardest thing is thinking you can cope with it when you're feeling well and then failing to cope when the feelings come. Or maybe I am coping the best way I can.... Your thoughts?
Am I accepting... But just a bit of me still wants it to go away.
Someone said to me that the consequences of doing absolutely nothing about it is ZERO. I think he is right, but I still feel the need!
Phil

PanchoGoz
13-11-13, 16:28
Are you distracting yourself? It's important to keep occupied when anxiety starts to hit you to show your system that there is no danger and you can get on with life with it there. You can't have accepted the feelings if you are still wishing them away. If you start to try and problem solve in your head just tell yourself there is nothing to solve and remind yoursef what you are doing (making a cup of tea, walking up the stairs...)

Rennie1989
13-11-13, 16:31
Sorry to hear about the anxiety.

Unfortunately coping mechanisms don't often work the first, second and third time round, they take practise and persistence. Keep these notes, keep reading them. They seem meaningless now but the more you read them the more your mind begins to believe them.

Don't be too tough on yourself, we all experience relapses when recovering. It's rarely a straight forward process and requires a lot of work, motivation and persistence. Give yourself a pat on the back for getting this far! But there are still obsticals to face, and you will beat them.

phil6
13-11-13, 16:52
Thanks both,
The more positive feedback the better.
As far as distraction goes... I do try but being retired I no longer have work to drag my mind away from its rumination.
I did go to the Gym, I took my dog on a long walk, but it doesn't really occupy my mind totally... Most of what I do is on my own.
Having said that, I have started to make the evening meal and I am getting there... I still have the old churning tummy, but at this time I don't care!
Acceptance does come and go... There is still some hard times to get through.... Thanks for the advise... Keep trying!
Or NOT trying is probably more to the point!
Phil

PanchoGoz
13-11-13, 17:55
Things like jst doing the crossword or having a little project on the go give your mind something to lean on and help you forget.

phil6
13-11-13, 20:14
Pancho,
I know what you mean.. I do a bit of modelling ( boats..that is) and I do have some simple computer games that can help, but I would like to be able to read sometimes and I find myself just staring at the page as my mind wanders off.
It's only a churning stomach but it does keep dragging your mind off... It is such a fearful feeling.
I will keep trying though.... I find myself slowly remembering that this is just anxiety and it will pass of its own volition if I let it be... But at this time that determination comes and goes a bit.
Phil

Rennie1989
13-11-13, 20:43
Phil - How about writing down your thoughts and feelings? It does not have to be done in a clinical way, it can be creative and imaginative.

phil6
13-11-13, 20:58
Rennie,
I have been doing a sort of journal...not every day but it does help to write things down. It sort of gets the feelings out and occupies the mind. It feels like it has been dealt with once it has been written.
I also sort of use these forums as a journal.. It all helps.
I feel like I have only one more step to make. But it is the gig one. Accepting the anxious feelings and not fretting about it or trying to change it. With GAD it sort of goes on for long periods, sometimes all day, and you can keep accepting to the best of your ability and not reacting then if you suddenly think, ugh this is awful, ( as you do) you get a burst of adrenaline and it feels like all the accepting is waisted. I know that is probably wrong.g.. It's all good practice.... Now there's a positive thought... !
Take care
Phil