View Full Version : I can feel another lump..
I've been really clever and decided to check my right breast again. I've found another definite lump. I'm in a complete state of panic again, I actually feel like I could throw up. I was at the doctors the other day and she felt the breast. How did she not feel this? I'm so upset
LF87....WHY are you self checking again when you have these constant worries, and when the doctor already checked your breasts??????
You need above ALL needs to STOP feeling and touching yourself.
You are not a clinician, and unqualified to self-diagnose anyway, so what you may be feeling may purely be normal, lumpy boobs.
Are you certain it's actually a lump? I know that sounds silly, but I have little "lumps" in my breast that are actually just mammary glands (been worse since I stopped breastfeeding - my doctor says they often never go down to normal) or just gristle.
---------- Post added at 21:11 ---------- Previous post was at 21:10 ----------
LF87....WHY are you self checking again when you have these constant worries, and when the doctor already checked your breasts??????
You need above ALL needs to STOP feeling and touching yourself.
You are not a clinician, and unqualified to self-diagnose anyway, so what you may be feeling may purely be normal, lumpy boobs.
And what Debs said too
I don't know why I did it. I'm so annoyed with myself. It almost feels like an urge. I just wanted to check everything was ok. Yeah it's a lump, I can feel it. Feels similar to the one I had checked. She did feel everywhere on this breast. She must have felt it? Or maybe she didn't. In hindsight, I did feel as though she slowed down over the lump bit I've just found. Maybe she just didn't mention it so not to panic me. Should I go back to double check? I can't believe I'm being so stupid and checking. Really can't.
She probably was just double checking that area, that's all.
A GP checks loads of breasts and lumps. They know what is normal, or what feels out of the ordinary. If she did not mention that area to you, or that she was iffy about it, I would not worry about it. Even if she was unsure and wanted to err on the side of caution, she would have referred you to the breast clinic, I am sure. No doctor wants to make a mistake over something that is ambiguous, especially where breast lumps are concerned.
I KNOW it is hard not to check, but it does not help you in the end, and does nothing except stir up worry and anxiety again. When I was diagnosed with micro-cysts running through my left breast, I was just relieved that I now knew what my boob aches were about every month, but I never have checked my breasts since, except for the regular feel for abnormalities.
As you say, it is just an anxiety habit that you need to try to break hun.x
Thanks debs. I'm just concerned as the lump she was looking for she found and said it was nothing. But she wasn't looking for this one so she may not have felt it? You have to push a but to find it. I'm really scared she's missed it. Got myself into a right flap now. I'm thinking I should make an emergency appointment for tomorrow xx
Hun, nobody can really answer this query for you, as in the end you will do what you feel you are compelled to do about it, so that is your decision, but just going by your recent post after you recent doctors check, and the fact she was happy that you had no sinister lumps, I would say this is purely anxiety driving this fear, but it is up to you.
It is interesting though as I had a similar experience with my breast exam as you had. I went to see my GP as I found a lump in my right breast and was having pain from it, but when my doctor examined it, she did not feel anything that was suspicious, and actually found a hard, pea sized lump in my OTHER breast. You can imagine how that went down with me! I had an ultrasound and that lump WASN'T SEEN but the micro cysts were!!
Breasts by nature can be very lumpy, very tricky, change according to your time of the month, and do all kinds of weird things which the majority of time are normal and not sinister.x
I'm just really upset I self checked again. Just total stupidity by me. I'm scared she'll refer me now. It's just endless. An endless hell. That's what I'm in at the moment x
You are just very anxious, hun.Don't beat yourself up, and I hope I didn't sound shouty and mean with my first post.
When you are worried about a particular thing, it is hard not to check. I'm just frustrated for you hun, as I know you said in your last post you didn't want to be referred/didn't feel it would help you anxiety wise.x
You didn't sound shouty or mean! I'm very thankful for all your replies tonight and previously :) I've decided I'm going to try not to go to the doctors. I saw my psychologist today and she said it's not helping the condition, it's just making it worse. She said once something has been examined and given an okay, that should be case closed. So, I'm going to treat this as homework of sorts, and try not to go. If I'm still desperate by Monday I'll go to the docs. I think this is a good plan? Maybe? Anxiety head says no, you MUST go, incase she did not feel it and it needs checking out... ! Xx
Phew, I'm glad about that. I sometimes read again what I wrote later, and it appears a bit harsh!
I think that sounds like an EXCELLENT plan!
Just try to ignore that anxiety head! It will always try to get you to doubt things hun. You can never win with it. It sounds like you have a very good psychologist, and she is so right.
Just see things at the moment as baby steps. Don't put pressure on yourself, but also try to challenge the HA in little ways too, like you say, by ignoring the scream to see the doctor again, or at least not rushing straight back.
Nobody can squash long-running anxiety in a minute. It will take time.xxx
I've decided I'm going to try not to go to the doctors. I saw my psychologist today and she said it's not helping the condition, it's just making it worse. She said once something has been examined and given an okay, that should be case closed. So, I'm going to treat this as homework of sorts, and try not to go.
Just a thought LF... Why not reward yourself for NOT going to the doctor? Is there something you've had your eye on? A item of clothing or something you saw in a catalog or online? If you DON'T go to the doctor, use the money it would have cost you and spend it on yourself ;) Positive reinforcement for a positive step in the right direction!
That's a good idea Fishman! There's always an item of clothing I've got my eye on! I'm just worried because everywhere you look it says you should always get these things checked by a doctor. So I'm having a tug of war in my head. Yes she's examined me last week, but for a different concern. So, as she wasn't looking specifically for this, she may not have found it. This one is bigger than the one I was originally scared of, but feels the same shape, texture. I'm wondering if maybe I should call the surgery? I'm sure she'd speak to me on the phone about whether she noticed it. Because there's the worry that she's not spotted it and it should be checked. But then I know she had a good squish around and it's not that difficult to locate. Arrgh! So stressful. Sorry for the zero paragraphs - typing from my phone xx
---------- Post added at 12:12 ---------- Previous post was at 09:38 ----------
Anyone? :(
If you read back through the thread, I'm afraid everyone has answered this already LF :( Reassuring you isn't quelling your doubt or making you feel better. You keep saying, "You're right BUT...."
What do you want to hear? I'm not going to say go to the doctor as I believe she checked you out and you're fine so where does that leave things? I'm sorry but I'm just kinda at a loss as to what to say.
Positive thoughts....
LF87, doctors always do their due diligence regardless of whether they are looking for a specific thing. Breasts are breasts and upon an examination an abnormality is very clear to a doctor. You said yourself that she felt where this lump is.
Let it go babe. Wait until Monday like you said. You can do it.
Ps - I still think it just a case of a perfectly normal quirk to your breasts - I have loads!
I don't know, I want someone to say you're definitely fine, but no one can say that.
I cracked, made an appointment for tomorrow morning. Then I cracked again and tried to make an emergency appointment for today.The doctor phoned me back and basically said no. She said the fact that there are two 'lumps' should be reassuring, because there's very rarely two, just one obvious lump, and that I'm worrying unnecessarily, again. Said she'll assess it tomorrow.That is embarrassing really. They've obviously got me on their hypochondriac hit list.
I've suffered with different kinds of anxiety since the age of about 11, but this is absolutely the worst. I've ruined my relationship, and eaten into a year of my life believing I have some incurable illness. How did this even happen! I used to go to the doctors once a year, if that. This is madness. Pure madness.
That's health anxiety for you hon. Don't beat yourself up.
I think your doctor felt the "lump" the other day, took some time feeling it (which you yourself said) and concluded that it was simple breast sinew. Honestly my boobs are like lumpy porridge if I press hard enough - don't know what men see in them!
You wont be on their hitlist. This sort of thing just wouldn't necessitate an emergency appointment x
Thanks katesa.
I have already crumbled and made an appointment for tomorrow, (we must have posted at the exact same time as I'd not read yours!). I know, an abnormality should be spotted whether pointed out or not. This should be enough! So frustrating x
---------- Post added at 12:51 ---------- Previous post was at 12:47 ----------
Haha, nor do I. They're an absolute pain in the arse!
Up until a few weeks ago I was sure I had mouth cancer. Convinced of it for about 8 months. Saw a thousand and one doctors about it. Was only a matter of time until I moved onto something else.
xx
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