Intrusive thoughts during panic attack?

[Bonnibelle]

I suffer daily with anxiety and a fear of what if thoughts. Usually based around knives, my children, me.... But I can say they are just thoughts and carry on about my day. I suffer anxiety in shops and I can feel anxious at home day to day. It all started after my brother attacked me last year, I had PTSD, anxiety and agoraphobia.

Recently I've been having a set back after doing so well. Feeling more anxious at home and when trying to go out. Of course all of this has made me feel low.

Monday evening my husband went to the shops, I was home alone with the children. I'm normally fine about this. Suddenly I had a huge rush of adrenaline from my feet to my head, I bolted up and all I could think was 'oh no does this mean I'm going to act on my thought of knives' I sat rigid, shaking, scared and my tummy felt so tight. I was scared that tight feeling was an urge to do it :( I sat for ages and called someone to just talk to let it pass. I was still shaking when my husband got home. I sat crying and shaking all night to my husband fearing that it was some kind of psychosis or wanting to do it. I now live in fear of it happening again and the last two days have been hell with all this worry about Monday night.

My gp came to see me and assured me it was a panic attack but I've never felt a rush like that, or had a tight stomach and had thoughts during a panic. My gp said in the past I've had anxiety attacks not panic as what I described was full panic. It hit out of nowhere. I was sat watching tv on Instagram and I did see a picture of a man with a hood up then underneath it said 'happy knife day'. Then I thought oh I'm alone, hope I don't have any thoughts because I read that then suddenly whoosh up my body, all the feelings I described and my head was racing with the thoughts thinking what if this tightening in my tummy is an urge to hurt my children, what if the rush of adrenaline is an urge too..... I was terrified. My gp said if I wanted to do it is be calm, no rush...

Can you have a panic attack with intrusive thoughts? Can anyone relate to this? I can't get over it and it's making me feel ill. I've not eaten in two days. I love my children but now I can't be alone with them :(

[hheavenlyangel]

Oh Bonnibelle, I wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better. Im surprised no one else has replied to you. I haven't had thoughts of wanting to do the things you have but I have had thoughts of wanting to crash my car into a tree, I have been terrified of an urge to run people over on the sidewalk. All of which I have NEVER done. So I suppose, even if you have that thought or urge, you don't necessarily act on it. Its just a thought, its not real. Try to work out what it is that is triggering your panic. You're not alone and Its perfectly normal. xx

[Emphyrio]

I can relate. I don't have panic attacks per se, but when I feel agitated/restless I tend to find my OCD thoughts come on quite strongly. Generally, when I'm calm, the intrusive thoughts don't bother me.

Have you identified any possible triggers? I find that I'm likely to feel agitated if I drink a lot of caffeine, have drank alcohol the night before, or have not had enough sleep. I also seem to feel like this after eating, though I haven't yet identified what foods trigger it.

[Bonnibelle]

Thank you for replying, kind of you. I've worried ever since Monday and I'm afraid to be alone like this :(( I thought posting on this board some people could tell me it's normal during panic to think like that, I've no idea what an urge would feel like so I'm really concerned:(

Thanks again Angel x


Oh Bonnibelle, I wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better. Im surprised no one else has replied to you. I haven't had thoughts of wanting to do the things you have but I have had thoughts of wanting to crash my car into a tree, I have been terrified of an urge to run people over on the sidewalk. All of which I have NEVER done. So I suppose, even if you have that thought or urge, you don't necessarily act on it. Its just a thought, its not real. Try to work out what it is that is triggering your panic. You're not alone and Its perfectly normal. xx

---------- Post added at 08:11 ---------- Previous post was at 08:09 ----------

Hi,

No. At the time it hit I as relaxing. I had been stressed
About my family upsetting me all that day, and I saw that picture on my Instagram with knife mentioned. I'm guessing they were the triggers.

QUOTE=Emphyrio;1243911]I can relate. I don't have panic attacks per se, but when I feel agitated/restless I tend to find my OCD thoughts come on quite strongly. Generally, when I'm calm, the intrusive thoughts don't bother me.

Have you identified any possible triggers? I find that I'm likely to feel agitated if I drink a lot of caffeine, have drank alcohol the night before, or have not had enough sleep. I also seem to feel like this after eating, though I haven't yet identified what foods trigger it.[/QUOTE]

[bashley]

Hi Bonnibelle i know how you feel to a certain extent. I live near the sea and sometimes i get this weird feeling that i want to drive off into the sea. When i had my first child 20 years ago i had pnd and i just wanted to walk in front of a lorry. Its a scary feeling and i have to really fight it. Its so strange i suppose thats what people feel like who self harm like when i have my oven or iron on i get this compulsion to touch it and burn myself. I had a very traumatic thing happen to me when i was 10 and i think maybe its all connected like post traumatic disorder. I think maybe if my mother had taken me for counselling i might have been ok but she didnt and over the years things trigger it off. It good that you have a good doctor who helps and listens unforunately my one thinks mine is all anxiety and in my head. Maybe try seeing a counsellor as you have had something very traumatic happen and you need someone to help you. X

[Bonnibelle]

Thank you.

Yes I so do have PTSD. I was assessed by the mental health team earlier this year and was told it was PTSD causing anxiety and agoraphobia. I told him I had intrusive thoughts. He said they weren't a concern but but he couldn't offer me any help as the waiting list was 18 months. I went private but I got little help from it.

I've been referred to the counsellor at our surgery this week. I'm hoping that and increasing my meds will help.

QUOTE=bashley;1243944]Hi Bonnibelle i know how you feel to a certain extent. I live near the sea and sometimes i get this weird feeling that i want to drive off into the sea. When i had my first child 20 years ago i had pnd and i just wanted to walk in front of a lorry. Its a scary feeling and i have to really fight it. Its so strange i suppose thats what people feel like who self harm like when i have my oven or iron on i get this compulsion to touch it and burn myself. I had a very traumatic thing happen to me when i was 10 and i think maybe its all connected like post traumatic disorder. I think maybe if my mother had taken me for counselling i might have been ok but she didnt and over the years things trigger it off. It good that you have a good doctor who helps and listens unforunately my one thinks mine is all anxiety and in my head. Maybe try seeing a counsellor as you have had something very traumatic happen and you need someone to help you. X[/QUOTE]