Suicide OCD!

[Scared_11]

Hello everyone,

I am having abit of a bad few days and I realy didn't want to come on to this site for reasurrance but here I am.

Anyway, as u can see from the title I think I suffer with suicide OCD. The thought of it makes me feel sick and anxious and terrified! I have been dealing with this theme for 2 years or so but have been doing realy well up until September.

Anyway, the thought u am thinking now is bugging me and I any seem to get a grip of it.

So I obsess about suicide as it's the thing I fear most (losing control, hurting my family etc) but suicidal feelings can be a side effect of OCD for some people. With other themes people say if ur scared of them u will never act on them but with this theme it feels different as u can get so low with OCD that it could potentially lead to these feelings I am terrified of feeling!

Help x

[Scared_11]

Anyone?

[digta]

hi Scared. This is so common with OCD, you are not alone, WE are many. You can overcome this, I have had irrational thoughts all my life, to figure out It was OCD gave me some rest bite. I now have Therapy and Hope, you will get through this. Well done on logging on, I read these threads for a long time before I did :)

[Scared_11]

Knowing that it is OCD is giving me no rest bite! I am feeling so scared and depressed and the thoughs are 100 miles an hour!

I am so afraid that I am suicidal, I know I am seeking reasurrance but I feel like I realy need it! I feel at rock bottom. I know it will get better I am just scared that I won't allow it to get better somehow!

[PanchoGoz]

This is classic fear of symptoms. If you fear a symptom you get more anxious which makes the symptom worses. It's an annoying thing!
It's time to take control and turn things around. You must now stop avoiding the thoughts. Try making fun of them, laugh at them, be sarcastic about them. Want them to come, provoke a fight with them. Once you take control in this way, these thoughts lose their power.
Something else to remember with suicide is it's a choice and just thinking about it is a thousand miles from making any kind of action. Imagine 500 people have suicidal thoughts, probably only 20 will go on to plan ways fo killing themselves, then probably only 2 of the 20 would actually have a go. Most seek help first, and they get it.

[Tanner40]

Intrusive and obsessive thoughts are extremely common with OCD. I imagine doing some crazy things, like putting something dangerous in the coffee, and end up rinsing my coffee cup like 10 times, even though I know on an intellectual level that it is fine.
Just the very thought that it is the thing that you fear most is what is causing this intrusive thought to continue to come up and to make your anxiety levels rise.

Don't continue to give the thoughts anymore power and eventually, with hard work, they will go away.

[Scared_11]

Thanks for ur replies! I have had this theme before and I thought I knew how to deal with it but I have forgotten everything.

I feel too scared to accept the thoughts because they feel so real. I don't want them to be. It all feels very complicated. Being so anxious about felling depressed that I feel depressed. Vicious cycle.

I have literally spent the whole day ruminating and I can't seem to distract myself. I have tried watching tv, playing games, going the shops, nothing is taking my mind off these thoughts.

[PanchoGoz]

You must keep trying! The very best form of distraction is interacting with other people and talking. This puts your brain into a kind of receptive mode instead of an active thinking mode, so interact with people as much as possible. You're doing well.