Drug Guilt

[ScheifferB]

Hi guys,

Recently I've been going through a little bit of a relapse with my anxiety and panic attacks. About 2-3 years ago I foolishly tried a drug on a night out, I had it a few times that night and have never returned to it since. Over the years since then I've had bouts on some days where I'll find myself deep in thought about how ashamed of myself I am, and how angry I am at myself for taking it, I find myself sat in immense guilt and shame which then turns on my anxiety.

Sometimes I can think about it, shrug it off and say "stop living in the past, you're an idiot for doing what you did, but you live and you learn"

I'm just looking for a little support right now, does anyone ever have these sorts of thoughts? of guilt and regret? what do you do to settle yourself? I end up slipping into a cycle where I think 3 years on the drug is still damaging my brain, is that possible?

Thanks..

[T*]

I feel guilt about everything. Even really stupid things like taking toolong to reply to a text.

You need to ask yourself why you feel guilty about it, is it rational guilt? And then most importantly, you need to forgive yourself, say it out loud if it helps.:)

[hanshan]

Taking a drug once three years ago will have no effect on you now. It takes repeated use for a drug to have a continuing effect on your body. Even then, effects disappear after stopping the drug.

Continued, unwarranted, worried rumination about some negative event in the past is definitely the sign of an anxiety disorder. I'm not even sure if it has a name. Generalised anxiety disorder deals with over-anxiety about current problems, but this is in the same category. I'm a long-term GAD sufferer, and occasionally I also start agonising about the past. But I can't fix the past, and I have to tell myself it's gone, it can't hurt me anymore (and did I remember to take my medication!)

[Rennie1989]

You won't get over this unless you accept the mistake you've made and learn to forgive yourself. Plenty of us have used narcotics in the past with no lasting effects, it just remains a memory.

I did some pretty wacky things in 2011 and it has taken me until very recently to accept the mistakes I've made, apologise for them and to move on. I'm a recently married woman and have a future ahead of me, I didn't want to be plagued by things that I did in the past.

It may help if you saw a counsellor or CBT therapist. Discuss the memories that are still affecting you and they can help you dissect the problem and learn some mechanisms to move on.

[ScheifferB]

You won't get over this unless you accept the mistake you've made and learn to forgive yourself. Plenty of us have used narcotics in the past with no lasting effects, it just remains a memory.

I did some pretty wacky things in 2011 and it has taken me until very recently to accept the mistakes I've made, apologise for them and to move on. I'm a recently married woman and have a future ahead of me, I didn't want to be plagued by things that I did in the past.

It may help if you saw a counsellor or CBT therapist. Discuss the memories that are still affecting you and they can help you dissect the problem and learn some mechanisms to move on.

Thanks for this, I found a lot of comfort in what you just said as well as everyone else in the post. I've suffered anxiety for about 2 years now, thankfully not as chronic as it used to be. I will speak to my doctor about CBT.