Terrified newbie

[Kirbear]

I have been suffering awful HA since my son was a few weeks old. Every single symptom I ever get is googled and I always pinpoint it to the worst possible scenario (which, of course it doesn't turn out to be). However, I am currently going through a 'stage' and this time I'm worried that this time it is 'it'. My real phobia is cancer. I have been suffering excess acid for a couple of months now, never any pain and rarely feel it 'rise up' it just seems to sit in my stomach making my feel sick, more so when pressure is applied. My dr has prescribed me with omeprazole as he could feel inflammation which I think are helping slightly. However, I am now getting weird sensations. Just under my left rib where my stomach sits it kind of feels like something is 'stuck' along with pulsating heavy sensations. Now I'm scared I have stomach cancer after googling (why do I do it to myself)? If it is something serious would it be likely the acid wouldn't be helped with medication? Also, he said he'd like to see me again in a few weeks to see if they are working, does this mean on feeling my stomach he is also concerned? I'm 29 by the way. I'm now in that 'zone' where I don't feel like doing anything but sitting and crying. Please somebody help, do you think it could be stomach cancer?

[Andria24]

Kir - you have anxiety disorder. That's what's wrong with you. I should think, based upon your post, that you're pretty exhausted with it all. Time to get yourself on the road to recovery.

You're not dying, you're not riddled with infinite deadly diseases, but you are tired and worn out. Between a young child and your anxiety disorder, that's a heck of a lot of stress.

Please make an appointment with your doctor and discuss how you're going to tackle your anxiety. Once you're on the road to recovery everything will start to make sense once again :hugs:

[kahi35]

No don't think u have cancer. Just adrenalin build up from anxiety and pulsation is your heart beating.

[Kirbear]

Thank you both for your response :)

The dr did mention help the last time I went, chewing his ears off about something else. He said if it hadn't calmed down after my wedding then would have to see about treatment. Either counselling or medication, I really thought I would be fine and wouldn't need either as I had been fine and just took my diagnosis of excess acid as ok. However, when I started to get the 'stuck' feeling below my left rib I made the age old mistake of googling! I'm so mad with myself. I have been doing weights and sit ups at the gym for just an hour a week for 3 weeks so it is possibly a bit muscular, it just seems to fit right where my 'acid' problem lays so I can't think rationally!! As soon as I get the all clear for anything I always say no more Dr google but I never seem able to resist then it takes over my life for the next few weeks. Funny thing is my acid is bad again today, really I should know this is because my anxiety levels are high today but instead I think 'well the tablets aren't working so it must be something bad' grr! Sorry for the essay x

[Andria24]

Kir - make that appointment. You need to be treated for the anxiety disorder. It's as much an illness as any other. I'd also advise you to use a combination of meds and therapy. Meds alone don't cure the problem, they just mask it.

There's a lot of good advice and plenty of support to be found on NMP so here's hoping you listen to those of us that offer help and that sooner or later you can come and share the details of your recovery :)

And welcome to the site :welcome:

[Kirbear]

Thank you! I will definitely do that, I have an appt on the 28th for the update on acid issues will mention it then. I'm a bit reluctant to go on medication though I'm worried they will change me if that makes sense?

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Kirbear,

Didn't you know that Dr. Google is being sued for malpractice due to false diagnosis? He never even went to medical school and rumor has it, he's just an algorithm with no compassion or human qualities ;)

It really does sound like reflux issues caused and exasperated by anxiety. It also sounds like you have a doctor that cares and can help you or at least point you in the right direction.

Positive thoughts!

[Andria24]

Kir - re meds and being changed - that's not what happens. They redress the imbalance, nothing more. Almost two months ago I was teetering on the edge of well ... watching my cheese slip off my cracker. Six weeks later the difference amounted to me feeling normal once again.

And that's it, that's the change. You just feel like you do when you're fine and dandy. Meds aren't miracle cures (mores the pity) they're just a tool that tightens the bolts back up again :roflmao:

Don't over estimate what they can do, and don't presume that you'll become this new or alternative version of yourself. Or even that you'll feel ecstatically happy. You just feel normal when they're in your system and doing what they're supposed to :)

[Kirbear]

[QUOTE=Fishmanpa;1243810]Hi Kirbear,

Didn't you know that Dr. Google is being sued for malpractice due to false diagnosis? He never even went to medical school and rumor has it, he's just an algorithm with no compassion or human qualities ;)

Just brilliant! :roflmao:

---------- Post added at 08:56 ---------- Previous post was at 08:54 ----------

Thank you guys!!! Will definitely be requesting both then Andria, will I have to depend on these forever though or will I eventually be 'cured'?

[leebop]

My husbands whole family have your symptoms and they all suffer from acid reflux. Your perfectly fine and its just your anxiety. I know exactly how you feel. I've just been given the all clear for a lump I have. My gosh I was a mess. Broke down at doctors and where I had it tested. I promised my husband to now get help for my health anxiety as I was pretty much housebound, depressed and on Dr Google for 2 weeks straight. Take a deep breathe and know you are really Ok. :)

[Andria24]

Kir in answer to your question: given that the illness is a mental health one, your return to wellness is down to how you approach it mentally. Think of it like smoking cessation - if you're behind your ability to break the habit chances are you'll be successful.

Achieving mental well being is the same as anything else - listen to your body, work with the professionals, develop a positive attitude and focus on becoming well.

A couple of months ago I crashed and burned. And I hated it. I'd rather not be here than live a life filled with fear and panic, it's that simple. Given the two choices that that perspective offers, I'd rather err on the side of life and so I chose to get with the program.

I blubbed my way through my doctors appointment, but managed to both evidence my distress and what was wrong to my doctor. He prescribed the following: meds, coupled with a therapeutic course of counselling and CBT, and rest (signed off work temporarily).

I have yet to start therapy as there's a waiting list but the meds are now working and, because I was and remain determined to recover, I feel so much better. I know I need therapy too, and can't wait to start on it in the new year. I won't return to how I used to be because I've suffered underlying anxiety disorder mist of my life. I'm hoping I'm a new and improved version :roflmao:

Hopefully you and me can come back in the not too distant future and say 'this is how I recovered' :D

[Kirbear]

Thanks Leebop, that's reassuring to know others have the same thing :)

Glad you got the all clear, I'm a nightmare for finding lumps and worrying about them for months. Infact, I found another last night when I was prodding my tummy. It 'catches' on my false rib on the bottom left side when I prod, now of course I'm panicking again thinking it's some horrible thing and it's related to my acid symptoms. I really need to stop it's driving me insane!!!!

---------- Post added at 11:02 ---------- Previous post was at 10:53 ----------

Thank you Andria, I have had a quick read through some of your previous posts. I love how positive you are about everything right now and your advice to others.

I hope soon I can feel positive also, right now I can't see how I'm ever going to live until I'm old!! I would really love a sibling for my son also, but I keep putting it off because I'm scared I've got a horrible illness lurking within. But then I suppose with the HA I kind of have.

Thank you all for your kind words and helpful advice. :hugs:

[Andria24]

Kir there's no suppose, you do have an illness. Get it under control. You'll feel a thousand times better. In fact ... you'll feel normal, happy, confident. All the things we're all entitled to feel.

Make that appointment and start on your road to recovery :)

[Kirbear]

Just a quick update guys. Been to docs, he's felt my stomach and he believes it doesn't warrant any further investigations so just carry on with the omeprazole. He is referring me to counselling and CBT. He isn't starting on medication just yet until I've been assessed. Thanks guys for making me see sense!! :hugs:

[Ande]

Hi, i too suffer with health anxiety, 9 years this year, last year i had bad acid reflux, food felt like it was coming back up, terrible trapped wind under my left rib like you, they tested me for "h pylori) turned out i had it, it's a bug that lives in the stomach and burrows into the lining so as not to be killed by your stomach acid, it causes imflamation of yur stomach lining and causes symptoms of acid, trapped wind, constipation etc, they put me on a two antibiotics and lazoprazle which is like the omeprazole you are on, soon as i finished the treatment i was back to normal, it's worth asking to be tested for it.

[Kirbear]

Thank you Ande, I have read about it on my numerous visits to Dr google and figured I would be offered the test anyway by doc. However, he has said my stomach isn't as inflamed as it was on my previous visit so I didn't mention anything and I guessed that's why he didn't either. I don't suffer much pain just like a bubble under my rib. I will see how I go on my next month of omeprazole and if it hasn't gone away by then I will definitely mention it next time. Thank you for the advice :)

[Worriedwellornot]

Hi kitbear. I'm a newbie ( not sure how if this is posting) but I have severe HA also which is ruining my life and have had since my children were born. I lurch from one cancer to the next and this last 6 months has been ovarian followed by lung and currently gripped by the latest- pancreatic-. Started 4 weeks ago with reflux, abdominal pain and taste in mouth. Waiting for blood tests. Mine seems to start once I read an article, watch TV or hear if someone else is ill. I'm gripped with Dr Google ( used to be the medical book ) I wish I could cure this anxiety. Every twinge it symptom I read up on until I'm convinced I have the disease. Once I get the all clear from the latest panic all the symptoms go..... Hope you are ok

[Kirbear]

I'm exactly the same! Worse thing is people thinking it's some sort of joke and that I can help being like this! If only, it's so bloody exhausting I'm tired of it ruling my life when I should be enjoying it! Thing is, since meeting my husband and having our son I'm the happiest I've ever been (besides the HA which holds me back). And I believe this is where it's all started, because I'm scared of it all being taken from me. I also make up worst case scenarios in my head and upset myself . Why do I do this?! Aaargh! :weep:

[LE]

Hi kirbear

I'm sorry to hear how things are for you.

Stress makes your stomach produce more acid and it's a cycle. My gp tolde when I was first diagnosed with it 3 years ago that I was going to give myself an ulcer if I did not reduce my anxiety. I went on omprazole for 3 months and felt better. Now 3 years later my anxiety has been really bad in recent months and guess what is bad?! The acid reflux. It's also always worse for me when I gain weight. I just gave birth to my second baby 8 months ago and not lost all of the weight so I think that plus the anxiety is causing it. I've not started the omprazole yet.

You are doing the right thing getting help for the anxiety. Mine did not start until after I had my first baby 4 years ago. Cancer is my fear too and I literally think every symptom is cancer. I don't google anymore as I would be worse!!xx

[lfc65]

Hi. Also a newbie on here! Sorry to hear of your problems but totally understand. My HA started after the birth of my second baby with all the symptoms you described and more besides! I regret that I "lost" the first 6 -9 months of his life through being gripped by fears, panic and spending more time googling symptoms than being with him. He wasn't affected btw - now a healthy, happy well adjusted 11 year old! So pleased you are getting counseling, it certainly helped me to put things in perspective and though I am not "cured" I am able to put my HA into a box most of the time. I do have fleeting episodes still, generally cancer related (pancreatic, ovarian and uterine are my favorites) but these tend to last a matter of days not weeks and it doesn't take a lot to trigger me off but I am much better equipped to deal with them. My main advice would be to keep away from Dr Google - my husband has even disconnected all the Internet and disabled the 3G on my phone during bad spells. Enjoy your baby x